Tips and advice on how to forget someone

[uri]

There are many programs, David DeAngelo's is one of them, who teach you how to start with women, what to say on the first time and how to make yourself more attractive to girls.

What they don't teach is how to get over someone who is not attracted to you or that doesn't love you back. I realized that all the teachings on how to start and be more attractive to women won't work when you're still obsessing over someone who doesn't love you back.

Having a crush or being infatuated with someone who doesn't feel the same for you happens to almost everyone even to the most handsome and famous guys and in most cases it can be a painful and agonizing experience.

So here I collected a list of tips on how to get over someone you love who doesn't love you back. These advice really helped me a lot. The advice is equally true both for men and women:

1. Get your mind off of him/her. The most important thing is not to be alone. Surround yourself with family and friends, the people who love you unconditionally and spend more quality time with them.

2. Ask yourself what might be in his head or his heart; it takes two people to be in a relationship and even though you feel the way that you do, maybe it was meant to be this way. Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you!

3. Love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realise that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. He gave me the strength to realise that I can move on. He gave me the courage to try something different. He gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

4. For all those wondering what went wrong just stop wondering say it really aloud "SHE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". Only when one stops chasing and pursing someone who doesn't love you, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love him.

5. It's not about getting over a person, it's about feeling good about yourself. It's about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy. If this other person doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't really matter.

6. This situation is always an unfortunate one. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other the same, and at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, you need patience! you have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If your feelings are real, and you choose to hang in there, you must not scare her away with your feelings! If things are meant to work out, you should be great friends before lovers anyway. While you let both your feelings reach equilibrium, you'll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It's not always important to impress her, or do nice things for her in a loving way. It may give you hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly.

7. Try to find and see the flaws in your love object. When you're infatuated with someone you see them as a completely perfect, flawless person capable of doing no wrong. Remind yourself that your image of them is quite irrational. The madness of infatuation creates many unrealities. You perceive your love object as vastly more wonderful than is real. Learn to see that your love object has faults, flaws, and the normal number of human quirks. Remind yourself that your image of this person is unrealistic. Remind yourself also that no one can live up to your imagination. The more you remember this the sooner your will get your feelings much more in proportion.

8. Love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realise that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. He gave me the strength to realise that I can move on. He gave me the courage to try something different. He gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

9. If you belive in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That's the power of destiny. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts.

10. The older I get, the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love - like me - and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of committment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever. A deep unwillingness to give themselves over to another (aka, selfish). It is an absolute rock and a hard place. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is the most impossible situation imaginable, especially when the love is so strong you are a slave to it.

11. Deal with reality. Stop hoping, dreaming, etc. Pray and tell God that you forgive them for not being able to love you. Ask God to take this from you - and He will. Then continue to deal with reality. Don't tell yourself, maybe someday... they'll change...

12. True love accepts the person for who they are, even when they are bad and they don't love you. It means accepting reality. When you love and accept reality at the same time, you are forced to move on. When you deal with reality and move on without love, you take bitterness with you. When you love without dealing with reality, you hurt yourself. Love the other person, Accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you'll need to do that continuously until it ceases to become a problem.

13. There is one more thing I can recommend. There are times when you feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may have just hurt you again, you don't know why you want to talk to them, you just do. I've been able to get by these weak moments by writing down exactly what I'm feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don't feel to call the person anymore. For everyone out there, keep strong and keep your head up, there are better days ahead.

14. Remember that life goes on. You had a life before them and you will have a happy life after them. It's up to you whether you want to keep dwelling on the past or just keep moving. Memories can haunt us but the best way to deal with them is to bury them where they belong, in the past. You've got to start looking to the future.

[Junket]

I might sticky this thread, good post.

[Gigabitch]

I think DeAngelo doesn't cover this because love doesn't even enter into his equations. He's so one dimensional. It's all about getting laid.

[Iwanttobefree]

I don't know if I should punch you in the nose or thank you a billion times.

[uri]

I don't know if I should punch you in the nose or thank you a billion times.

Come down pal. Why punch me in the nose? I didn't write anything bad to you.

I just feel that that "special someone" concept is a myth that should be debunked. There are probably 1 billion women in my age range in the entire world, all wonderful and available so it's really foolish to think that there is an "one and only" special someone for me.

The fact is there are so many possible girlfriends/boyfriends out there for everyone.

[Gigabitch]

Well, from my perspective, being 40, having been divorced once and having had a LOT of relationships, I can tell you; they're not all the same. Only a rare few are special. You're a fool if you think women are interchangeable.

[uri]

I think DeAngelo doesn't cover this because love doesn't even enter into his equations. He's so one dimensional. It's all about getting laid.

According to evolution, which is currently the best theory explaining life and human behavior, all human sexual behavior is related to reproduction (aka having sex). Reproduction is the reason why we exist and our natural drive to reproduce and pass our genes to future generations is the reason why we are alive so in some sense it is a good thing. Because without sexual reproduction, the human species would die out.

We think we are above evolution, we think we can defy it, we think we are special and unique but the fact is we are not. I know many religious people would attack me for writing that but I just had to get out the truth. So please don't be mad.

[MrBeo]

Very difficult to forget someone. I also like this. Results here are useful tips
Thanks!

[gyatri]

gud tips..i tried something like this only.But the problem is now that,i have started hating that person whom i used to love madly,not b'coz he could;nt love me back,but b'coz he kept me lured & lied to me only to give a boost to his ego,& feel good about himself & even tried taking undue advantage over me.He used to call me his best friend & ended up with such thoughts for me & treating me like this.

I don't know,but i am feeling like teaching him a lesson for what he did & since he has a girlfriend wanna tell her all.I am trying to but am unable to control my anger and hatred for him.

Please ,do suggest me.

[gyatri]

I have earlier posted my whole story,in "ask a male forum" with the title-"wat is in his mind ,friendship or ????"
you can refer to that,also to suggest me & help me out.
i am just going mad with anger.

[Shiro Yuki]

Surround yourself with family and friends, the people who love you unconditionally and spend more quality time with them.

This is what I do always. =D

5. It's not about getting over a person, it's about feeling good about yourself. It's about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy.

yeah! this is true! =D

If you belive in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be.

yeah!

The desire to stay young forever.

Sorry, but I'm into it. 'Cause it's my way of escaping hurts, by always having fun! haha!

Love the other person, Accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you'll need to do that continuously until it ceases to become a problem.

True!

Remember that life goes on. You had a life before them and you will have a happy life after them. It's up to you whether you want to keep dwelling on the past or just keep moving. Memories can haunt us but the best way to deal with them is to bury them where they belong, in the past. You've got to start looking to the future.

yeah!!!! (two-thumbs up!) =D

Thanks dude! =D

[kit_kat]

14. Remember that life goes on. You had a life before them and you will have a happy life after them. It's up to you whether you want to keep dwelling on the past or just keep moving. Memories can haunt us but the best way to deal with them is to bury them where they belong, in the past. You've got to start looking to the future.

I totally agree with this one. We should always keep in mind that our lives must go on and that our happiness doesn't rely to those persons who once made us happy. Yes, they were a part of our lives before but we have to wake up and keep on moving. Let go.. We are responsible for our own happiness.

[ramjab16]

yeah

thought it seems very hard for me to move on right now

because we just broke up a week ago...

there are times that I can't help but blame myself for what happen...

but there's no use..Coz he ain't coming back...

[cluelessinluv]

wow. just what i need right now... thanks!

[akoto86]

It's good that you are helping. Nice one bravo!!!