Extremely Confused

[nevets0319]

Hello,

I am new to this forum and not exactly sure where I should post this thread so I'm gonna do it here.

First off let me begin by saying that I am here because given the circumstances surrounding my problem I don't have anywhere to turn so here I am. So, I will get into now.

A few years back this girl started calling me. We were already friends to a degree but I wouldn't say we were good friends. We emailed each other sometimes but that was the extent of it. When she started calling she was calling to talk to the girl I was with not me. But she would call not knowing that she wasn't there since she was working nights then. I would say though that it happened on a weekly basis and each time she called we would talk longer. She was calling when she was on lunch so there was a limit to how much we could talk. Anyway one day when she called she told me that I could call her after she got off from work if I wanted to sometime. So I thought about it and decided why not.

I started calling her after work and it was like instantly that we were talking for hours a night becoming really close friends. At first I was always the one doing the calling but after a few weeks she started calling me. The guy she was with and still is had no idea she was talking to me so much or at all. So when she started calling me it was all the time. She would call as soon as she left home for work and talk to me the 30 minute drive to her place of work. Then she would call and talk to me for at least 45 minutes of her lunch break. And then call me after she got out of work at 11pm to 1am until he got off from work and called her. This on top of at least 50-60 text messages a day. So needless to say we were talking a ridiculous amount.

Let me give you a glimpse of some of our conversations. She asked me one night what I thought of her as far as physical attractiveness. I told her that I thought she was an absolutely gorgeous woman. She in turn told me that she thought I was very attractive as well. When we were on the phone, if I was watching tv and said something about a woman on tv being attractive she would always say "why I oughta". I thought that was strange almost like she was jealous. She talked once about a guy she dated for a long time and how she really thought he was her soulmate. She told me one night that I reminded her of him. This guy had a bit of a dark side so I said do I remind you of him in a good way or bad and she said in a good way. Oh yeah and if she was talking to me and the guy she was with then and is now called her she would tell him she was talking to her mom. Definitely wanting to hide something.

So I asked her the other day if she ever felt anything for me more than friendship and she says no. And emphatically denies ever feeling anything more. Here's my question: am I crazy to think that she did feel something? Is it normal to talk to someone you are attracted to that much and feel nothing? Especially when you have so much in common as we did and do? I think she doesn't want to admit it. What do you all think?

Thanks for your help in advance.

[misombra]

i think she's a treacherous bitch. karma is riding her tail.

you said your girlfriend is her friend?

[nevets0319]

Yeah they are kinda friends. I don't think she meant to have that happen. It just did. But am I crazy for questioning her feelings? Just seems practically impossible for her to not have deeper feelings than friendship.

[chloe78]

It does sound a little weird that she says she doesn't have feelings for you. Whats happened since you asked her about it? Are you still talking?

[carl1222]

She is definitely attracted to you by the level of emotional cheating with you as evident by the tone and extent of your conversations and the deception to her bf. But she already has a boyfriend that she has no intention of giving up for you right now, hence her response to your question. If you keep this up, she will probably end up cheating with you pretty soon though.

I think it's time for you to give up this pretend relationship before you get involved in something that neither of you will be proud of.

Carl.

[nevets0319]

Yeah she still talks to me. I don't know. Really weird. I don't really believe she is being completely honest.

[alovehangoverr]

She is definitely attracted to you by the level of emotional cheating with you as evident by the tone and extent of your conversations and the deception to her bf. But she already has a boyfriend that she has no intention of giving up for you right now, hence her response to your question. If you keep this up, she will probably end up cheating with you pretty soon though.

I think it's time for you to give up this pretend relationship before you get involved in something that neither of you will be proud of.

Carl.

This.

I'd say what she's most attracted to is the attention she can get from you. Not only does she have the stable relationship with her boyfriend to go home to, but she can get her ego stroked by you via phone calls/texts.

The fact that she lies to her boyfriend about who she's talking to you just goes to show the kind of person she is.

Also-- is the girl you were with your girlfriend? If so-- how does she feel about these conversations you've been having?