what makes you?

[jane]

Why would a man want to be friends with an X-gf? What if the relationship ended badly and he still wanted to make amends and be friends?

[misombra]

la pasion!

[carl1222]

Even if the relationship ended badly, they have a history together. Remember, at one time they liked each other even though their relationship eventually didn't work. Being broken up frees them both from their toxic romantic relationship and allows a friendship to be rekindled based on the good parts.

Unfortunately, this is why it's also very risky to get romantically involved with a guy who still has a significant friendship with an ex (unless there are kids involved or a substantial amount of time has passed). Bad memories fade more quickly than the good ones, so they might decide to try again. Sure, it will fail again ... but are you up for the pain in the meanwhile?

Carl.

hahaha, misombra ... not EVERYTHING is motivated by sex!

[vashti]

I never really understood this kind of thing. After getting to know you well enough to sleep with you, if I end up not liking you enough to want to keep you around as a lover, I probably don't like you enough to keep you as a friend, either. Of course, I'm pretty selective about my choices in friends.

[misombra]

Even if the relationship ended badly, they have a history together. Remember, at one time they liked each other even though their relationship eventually didn't work. Being broken up frees them both from their toxic romantic relationship and allows a friendship to be rekindled based on the good parts.

Unfortunately, this is why it's also very risky to get romantically involved with a guy who still has a significant friendship with an ex (unless there are kids involved or a substantial amount of time has passed). Bad memories fade more quickly than the good ones, so they might decide to try again. Sure, it will fail again ... but are you up for the pain in the meanwhile?

Carl.

hahaha, misombra ... not EVERYTHING is motivated by sex!

no not everything. just guitar lessons.

[misombra]

lol i wasn't even talking about sex.

you've got a dirty mind carl. do you have a crush on me?

[carl1222]

lol i wasn't even talking about sex.

you've got a dirty mind carl. do you have a crush on me?

Everyone has a crush on you, misombra ... and touche on the guitar lessons

Carl.

[Cbrider]

no not everything. just guitar lessons.

LOL! Carl stories!

[lahnnabell]

I'm friends with several of my exes. Granted it's taken about 3 years of no contact before we could operate on a friendly level without the stress. But several of them are some of my best friends now. I realize that while we were dating that they still had an immense amount of growing to do (as did I) and it's not up to me to fault them for that.

There is one ex I don't speak to though. That's because he ditched me while we were traveling. And he's a self-destructive alcoholic who hasn't hit rock bottom yet.

[Cbrider]

Different people are driven by different reasons to want to be friends with an ex. The way the break up happens has a lot of impact on the fallout and possibility of reconciling. Also depends on your personality.....I erase people from my life completely.

[Gigabitch]

Friends with ex = back burner/ potential future hookup.

[misombra]

Friends with ex = back burner/ potential future hookup.

yup.
__________

if my boyfriend was friends with his ex he would be my ex and we wouldn't be friends.

[carl1222]

LOL! Carl stories!

Hey ... I was young and needed the money!

Carl.

[Lite]

Sometimes people can make the leap past it. Sometimes not.

But if the ex is single/not in a very involved relationship then your partner is likely keeping them on the back burner or as a just-in-case ****.

[jane]

so, I have come to the conclusion that being friends with my X isn't a good idea. I think he is really confused about what he wants and I also think that he has some unfinished business with his x. It's a long story, but to make it short he should up on my doorstep telling me how sorry he was that he hurt me .... but... i found out that he was bascially just hiding from his "current" GF. He knew she wouldnt find him at my house. Whats really messed up, is that this girl has been telling him that I am writing emails and threating her.. alsolute BS. When I explained that to him.. he didnt believe me. This girl is nuts and doesnt want him hanging out with me so she will come up with any excuse ... whatever... we havent talk since. Im not the kinda of person that would do the things she said I did but I cant make him believe what he doesnt want to hear. He's confused... I wish he would get his head out of his a## but I just think he likes the drama. .. oh well.. life lesson will be learned one day for him.