A little confusion

[Bo]

So i went in for a navel piercing a few days ago with the new guy i've been seeing. And the piercer asked if i was his gf and he said yes. And this was really confusing since we already decided to an uncommitted relationship. We had a talk a few days back and he basically insinuated that he doesn't want me to be seeing any other guys and clearly pointed out that he isn't sleeping with anyone else. Yet he says we have no obligations towards each other which i agreed to...anyway so back to the story now. Later on i asked him why he told the guy i was his gf and he said why not since the guy already thought i was....???? But we're not together....This is really confusing
What is this supposed to mean?

[corinthian]

What is this supposed to mean?

It means the guy is controlling, emotionally insecure and immature.

What kind of relationship is this supposed to be anyway? You don't mention sex but I am guessing that you are sleeping with this guy. However, unless you have both reached a higher plane of consciousness than 99.99999% of the rest of humanity, which from reading your story I can guarantee is not the case, there is no way that an uncommitted sexual relationship can be a good thing. Are you really saying that is what you want?

[Bo]

It means the guy is controlling, emotionally insecure and immature.

What kind of relationship is this supposed to be anyway? You don't mention sex but I am guessing that you are sleeping with this guy. However, unless you have both reached a higher plane of consciousness than 99.99999% of the rest of humanity, which from reading your story I can guarantee is not the case, there is no way that an uncommitted sexual relationship can be a good thing. Are you really saying that is what you want?

I had explained in earlier posts when i first started seeing him that he's leaving in about 3 months to go back to a university about 6 hours away from me. He's not any of those things from what i see, he's always respectful and was honest with me from the start that he was going to be leaving and a serious relationship is not something either of us are looking into right now considering the circumstances. I'm a relationship type of gal and always have been, but after what i've been through with my ex i don't want to get attached to anyone right now. I won't lie though, it doesn't hurt to have a special someone around; we both like that. We've had a few talks about us actually in which he has been the one to bring it up almost every time. Even when he does leave i'm really grateful to have met him, he's really raised my standard of guys by a lot since my ex basically squashed my standards to nothing because i put up with so much shit from him. I'll call him T, T has taught me quite a few things about myself and he actually inspires me to do better. He's always on time, stays on top of school, and he's smart with a lot of goals. If he were staying here than we would most likely be starting a serious relationship but that's not the case so we're just trying to get as much out of each other while we can still. Hopefully that clarifies a couple things.

I'm still confused...it's not a big deal or anything it's just strange because most guys would stray away from calling anyone their gf if they didn't want one....

[alovehangoverr]

I think you're reading way too much into this.

I think the fact that you claim to be a relationship girl yet you don't want anything serious is sort of contradicted by the fact that you're freaking out over him calling you his girlfriend and looking for some secret hidden meaning. If you've had the same talk with him over and over and it's always the same outcome-- there's a good chance nothing has changed.

Chances are when they guy asked "is this your gf?" He probably said "yes," so he didn't have to say, "no, this is the girl I'm just casually dating until I go back to university and because she just got out of a relationship and doesn't want anything serious."

[Gigabitch]

"Girlfriend" can mean a whole range of things. It's not as precise as "fiancee" or even "**** buddy".

[GemStar]

Duh!!! He's totally into you! This coming from a guy..... He's not secure enough yet to tell you it directly.. so he's saying it INDIRECTLY, you see? He's totally into you major-- You are in the driver's seat now, babe.

[Bo]

"Girlfriend" can mean a whole range of things. It's not as precise as "fiancee" or even "**** buddy".

True true, when he said girlfriend though it was more in the context of we are together. That just kind of threw me off guard. It didn't freak me out or anything,..Anyway Giga you should elaborate on this "range" of meanings for 'girlfriend'. What does it mean to you?

[Bo]

Duh!!! He's totally into you! This coming from a guy..... He's not secure enough yet to tell you it directly.. so he's saying it INDIRECTLY, you see? He's totally into you major-- You are in the driver's seat now, babe.

Really? ya think so Too bad he's leaving though, i'll be bummed out but i'm glad i met him. It was sorta funny when i went in for the piercing though because after he said i was his girlfriend the piercer said he could come hold my hand since i was a bit nervous about having a 14 g needle shoved through my belly button. So he came and stood next to me and distracted me so i wouldn't look down. It was very sweet. I've been out with him a lot of times, and usually we keep it pretty low key with the touching in public so that's why this was confusing. Usually we act like we're just friends.

[vashti]

I am guessing he likes you enough to not want you to date other people while he is here, but doesn't want you to harbor any illusions about the potential for a long-distance relationship once he returns to college. Smart kid... enjoy him.

[Bo]

I am guessing he likes you enough to not want you to date other people while he is here, but doesn't want you to harbor any illusions about the potential for a long-distance relationship once he returns to college. Smart kid... enjoy him.

Vash, you're basically right. And i guess i'm not expecting anything serious out of it either, we're both fairly happy with the situation right now but i must say i'm interested in seeing where this is going to be three months from now when he leaves...

[vashti]

Vash, you're basically right. And i guess i'm not expecting anything serious out of it either, we're both fairly happy with the situation right now but i must say i'm interested in seeing where this is going to be three months from now when he leaves...

It's going to be nowhere, hun. He doesn't want to be tied down once he leaves, and he doesn't want YOU to be tied down. Don't start imagining "what if" scenarios. You MUST keep yourself focused on what he has told you, or your heart will end up shredded.

[Bo]

It's going to be nowhere, hun. He doesn't want to be tied down once he leaves, and he doesn't want YOU to be tied down. Don't start imagining "what if" scenarios. You MUST keep yourself focused on what he has told you, or your heart will end up shredded.

oh no, that's not what i meant; i know when he leaves we'll stay friends but obviously we won't be pending on a relationship or anything. We're gonna both move on and i won't be seeing him for a long time even though i know he'll be back from time to time...he said he'd want me to come visit him there too since i might be going there after i finish another year at my community college. I'm just curious to see what it'll be like in a couple of months...if we'll be any different or closer

[Illusional]

so if i tell everyone that you're "my" gf too, would that be considered cheating??

raverboy

[Bo]

so if i tell everyone that you're "my" gf too, would that be considered cheating??

raverboy

? depends....

[doppelgaenger]

Sounds like a bunch of high school crap that doesn't mean anything.