Religious issue

[Lipp]

Y'ello, this won't be a long drawn-out concern about religious differences and relationships, I've got it handled in general.

But as a quick question, the missy goes to two churches, one Australian and the other one Hong Kong-based, and while being an atheist and getting along really well with the Australian church people and her same-aged friends that I met from the Hong Kong one somewhat it turns out that her pastor of the Hong Kong church is disapproving of her being in a relationship with an atheist.

That being the case, do you reckon that there's any way to work through this problem?
I've only met the pastor once very briefly and he seems to be alright, but because of the sessions and people speaking almost exclusively cantonese I haven't taken part of anything beyond that, so connecting more with him to discuss it is a bit of a problem.

Im not worried, everyone else she's been asking about this issue have been open-minded and accepting of it and she doesnt follow what he says blindly, but he seems to be quite conservative and it just bothered her a bit.

[vashti]

This is the thing, lipp - a clergyman's job is to promote their religious perspective. If you are getting near to the age when marriage becomes a possibility, religious people begin to worry about these religious differences, even when they may not have minded when you were teenagers. If you two were to fall in love, you might want to get married and have babies. The issue then becomes how the babies will be raised, and eternal damnation, and perhaps even YOU causing her to doubt her faith.

I don't really think this guy is going to change his position, and I think if you two become more serious, it will become an issue for the religious Aussies, too. Whether or not these differences can be overcome will depend on you girlfriend and you, but typically speaking, this is a problem that will resurface time and time again.

[Jhizzzosh]

Thats how lots of religions are. They all claim to be open to everyone. But they aren't. i wouldn't worry about it.

[kate_spencer]

But if your relationship will get serious up to getting married.. (just in case) Are you ready to accept her religion? Because you cannot, or it will be difficult for two of you to live together with different/opposite beliefs.

[Mish]

Tell her he hates you because you're white

[Gribble]

But if your relationship will get serious up to getting married.. (just in case) Are you ready to accept her religion? Because you cannot, or it will be difficult for two of you to live together with different/opposite beliefs.

Why is he obligated to accept her beliefs? Why shouldn't she accept his?

[Lipp]

What do you mean by 'accepting' though? As in tolerating and respecting her beliefs, yes, that's not a problem, as in converting to align our beliefs, no thanks, either way I dont think its somehow a big step up the religious ladder to fake belief.

I think I'll pass on that Mish, aint fair play

But yeah, I think Ill just play along and see if it becomes a real issue or not. So much for tolerance >.<

[kate_spencer]

Why is he obligated to accept her beliefs? Why shouldn't she accept his?

Then why not accept both their beliefs? accept each others' beliefs?
That's what I meant. Cause if you'll spend your life with a person whose beliefs totally opposite to yours, how will you agree with anything? That's hard. I'm not saying it's his obligation..

[DoesntMatter]

How is this an issue at all? So what her pastor thinks that one way or the other?

[Tea for Two]

Cause if you'll spend your life with a person whose beliefs totally opposite to yours, 'how will you agree with anything? That's hard. I'm not saying it's his obligation..

Just because they've got different ideas on who created the world doesn't mean they can't agree on things. Stop thinking like a fundie.

[GemStar]

Man, maybe you are stuck in those old ideas that God is found only in religions like Christianity or Judaism. Or even Islam, etc. Just lie and say you "need to figure it out by yourself but that you believe in 'something.'"

But it sounds like that you are like how I used to be. You get tricked into thinking God is in these crazy religions (cults?). There are gods or God out there, I think.. And even I, at age 29, do not know where to go about it. So I'm all f*** them.

But just lie.

[IndiReloaded]

Can you find some compromise, Lipp? Giga has mentioned some kind of 'universal' religion before. Its not quite as viral sounding as other things out there. Can't remember the name, sorry, someone else will have to post. Those things just don't stick with me.

Tho, honestly, if she's religious & you are atheist, you're in for problems. Unless she can accept your lack of faith the same way you can accept hers.

Not to mention what happens when kids are on the horizon. I know its far off for you, but just something to consider seeing as how she's "missus" and all.

[Mish]

Can you find some compromise, Lipp? Giga has mentioned some kind of 'universal' religion before.

If you can't decide on one, may I make a very reasonable recommendation

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/off-topic-discussion/26052-creating-cult.html[/url]

[Lipp]

How is this an issue at all? So what her pastor thinks that one way or the other?

It's an issue because he exerts influence over her, so it bothers her (thankfully not too much though) and affects her decisions and opinions.

Just because they've got different ideas on who created the world doesn't mean they can't agree on things. Stop thinking like a fundie.

That's true, we get along really well, it's only for issues beliefs (or lack thereof) clash that it matters. Below is one such example.

Not to mention what happens when kids are on the horizon. I know its far off for you, but just something to consider seeing as how she's "missus" and all.

Yeah, it's not really considered but eventually its a thing to tackle, and I've already made it clear to her how I dislike seeing kids taking part of church ceremonies and told how it is before reaching a certain age where they can judge properly instead of eating it all up, but of course I cant tell what it would be like 'til it happens, maybe the church itself starts wondering why she's not bringing her kids in for sunday school and such and it flares up.

But yeah, this is just stuff for the future, I think the current situation is handled as almost everyone except for that pastor don't have much of a problem with it.

Cheers for the input.

[Cbrider]

That pastor is just a door to door salesman for a certain religion. Do what I do to them, shut the door.