I’m an extremely shy person with a few questions that needs help. Ill go in to a lot of detail about my situation hoping I’ll get some good feedback.
I’m 22 and extremely shy around people especially girls, Its hard for me to engage in a conversation with people and on very rare occasions if a girl my age happens to say something to me, I get nervous / grateful that they would talk to me. I used to be much worse and had really low self esteem but I have gotten a little better over the last year and a half. My self esteem was always poor because I was overweight (about 195 in high school), but It was really bad starting in collage because I became obese and weighed around 225 pounds, but over the last year and a half I lost 45 pounds and have gotten over my depression and for the most part my poor self image. I also volunteered for a few months at a place where I called people to help my self be less nervous talking to people.
Now ill go over my history with women.
In middle school I was picked on a lot because I had trouble talking to other kids and kept to my self and eventually I was transferred out of PE to do various tasks around the library, which made me feel kind of nerdish. While working in the library I noticed that there was a girl who in one of my classes who was always there doing homework. She was very pretty, and I assumed at the time that she also might have been picked on, and was transferred to the library, because kids were either in PE or music at that hour of the day. I felt sorry for her and developed a big for her, but only got up the nerve to talk to her twice in middle school. In high school she was in a ton of my classes and I was always terrified of talking to her. She turned out to be kind of popular in high school and was on the dance team. (Question #1) I never knew if she knew that I liked her, she saw me look at her a few times, when I was trying to look like I wasn’t. Do think she did?
Around the time I had almost gathered enough courage to tell her I liked her I noticed she had a boyfriend. So I put off telling her for a long while and was almost able to tell her I liked her but I froze up when I walked up to her while waiting for one of our classes to start and just ended up with an awkward moment. After high school she moved out of state for collage and I went to the state one here.
I found out she had a Facebook page and felt bad when ever I looked at it because I was worried that I was doing something unethical/creepy. (Question #2) I have always been very afraid of being perceived as a creepy person/ stalker, ( I avoided getting coffee one day last year because I noticed there was a girl there, that was part of the same semester long group I was in from a class the previous semester). Any advice here would also be helpful.
I apologize for being all over the place with my story and It being so long.
Well I finally decided last fall to finally send her a message over Facebook, which is 3 years after we graduated high school. The message basically said “Hi sorry to send this to you out of the blue, but I felt I owe you an apology, I had a crush on you and I always acted more awkward then I usually do when I was around you, Im sorry for any grief I might have caused you, I’m not expecting any particular response to this, I just hope it isn’t too awkward. Hope you are doing well.” (Question 3) How stupid was I to write this? And I was actually hoping for a response good or bad but never got one, should I have expected that she would send nothing back or should she have sent me something?
Recently last year I was able to somewhat make friends with a few girls for the first time and is about the only time I have I have talked to the opposite gender a little bit. One I met on Facebook that was a friend of a friend I randomly added because at the time most of my few friends from high school had moved away. The other 2 were in my class last year and they talked to me a little bit and to stay in contact with them I also added them as friends on Facebook. (Final Question) What would be my best option for forming a romantic relationship? Should I try talking to one of the three girls I made as friends, all three of these girls are attractive, If so Im worried I might loose them as friends? Should I try sending another message to that girl I had a crush on for 9 years? Or should I try asking a random girl out, and if so would any girl being willing to be asked out by a random person? If I should ask a random girl out can I get some advice on how to ask without making a big fool of myself.
Finally any advice you give me would be much appreciated but please try to keep in mind that although Im 22 and pretty intelligent, I have the social skills of a young teen
Thanks for reading this and any advice you might have