Hanging out w/ girl & having sex just because there aren't other options

[gottabethejuice]

Hi there, I've been hanging out with a girl at least once a week for a coupel of months and having relations with her mostly because I don't have any other options right now and I figured some sex is better than no sex even if i don't feel a connection to her.

The problem is she is a nice girl, but not a girl I would date and I'm not all that attracted to her and she seems to have fallen for me.

On one side I feel i should break it off (not sure what i would say) so she doesn't get hurt as bad on the other hand we never spoke of any type of commitment so I should just keeping doing what I'm doing until something else comes along or untils he brings up commitment.

Is there something I could say to let her know i like to hangout like we do (very little) but that it's not going to lead to anything?

[Junket]

Many girls have trouble separating sex from attachment, so the more you have sex with her, the more she'll become attached.

I dunno, depends on how much of a dick you want to be.

[gottabethejuice]

Don't want to be a dick, what can I say to make sure we are on the same page?

[Mish]

Tell her the two of you are not compatible.

In the future don't get yourself into these situations. Sex with no connection makes for a very pitiful, passionless experience.

[gottabethejuice]

Well, I disagree, I think you can have sex without a connection that is fun and not pitifull at all, and at the time of the act it's passinate.

Mind you it's sex, we're not "making love".

[Junket]

Well, you probably won't get any sex from her anymore once you level with her, unless she thinks you think like a woman, and will come around because you're f*cking her enough, in which case I'd say she's an idiot.

Like I said, it depends on how much of a dick you mind being.

[Mish]

Well, I disagree, I think you can have sex without a connection that is fun and not pitifull at all, and at the time of the act it's passinate.

Well, then that means there was some kind of a connection. You must not be wanting to pursue it further with her for other reasons. (E.g. her being not attractive / interesting enough)

[poelover]

I've known girls that were in this situation, and they honestly thought that it would lead to an actual relationship. I think you need to tell her that you're not looking for a relationship whatsoever and let her make the call on whether or not she wants to keep sleeping with you. but if she does, keep in mind that she probably will still think that there is some chance of a relationship. If your just going to be friends with her, I think the best bet would be to stay away from the sex. If you're just looking to sleep with someone until you find a relationship worthy girl...then just pick someone up at the bar or something. Or just go without, even though that sucks

[vashti]

I think if you are aware she is developing deeper feelings for you than youcan reciprocate, the decent thing to do is to break it off.

[lastwish]

You said that you care about her feelings enough to not want to hurt her so I can tell you do have something good in you. Breaking up with her is a the right thing to do.

[Gigabitch]

Mind you it's sex, we're not "making love".

Speak for yourself. I'm sure she's having a very different experience than the one you're having.

I've known girls that were in this situation, and they honestly thought that it would lead to an actual relationship.

Yup. Same old story. FWB doesn't usually work for the girl. They only do it because they're not given an opportunity to get close to the guy any other way.

Eventually, you'll get tired of hurting people and come to understand that masturbating is a lot cleaner and easier in the long run, but I can see you're going to have to learn this the hard way.

[jadelil25]

You need to end this now before you hurt her any more. You are just using her and it really is not a nice thing to do. I do not have the time of day for people like her.

The more you do it the more she thinks that you like her and want something else i.e a relationship.

You need to be polite and matuire about this. You need to say it to her face and dont chicken out by calling her or messaging her instead.

Just say that you dont feel that it is working and dont feel that you will work together. Also let her know that you are not ready for a relationship now.

[Aeradalia]

You're using her for your own physical gratification... most women require an emotional connection... physical intimacy is rarely enough.

This is one of the most hurtful things you can do to a person --- give them false hope.

Break it off with her... stop wasting her time. For all you know, she could've been with someone who could've offered her that emotional connection she's been needing, instead of being your 'blow up doll.'

If you want to 'use' someone... save up the money and find a hooker... as least they are willing to participate in being used. This poor girl will now be left to wonder 'what she did wrong' when you break it off with her... and may even have difficulty in future relationships because of it.

[alovehangoverr]

I'm not a huge advocate of FWB situations-- why? Because more often than not one of the people involved develop feelings beyond the physical aspect.

If it DOES work out for some people.. it's because it's been discussed and decided upon that it wouldn't go beyond a physical relationship and friendship.

That's not the case here. You know this girl has feelings for you, and just because she hasn't brought it up doesn't mean she thinks it's not going anywhere. If you're spending multiple days a week together, hooking up, acting like a couple-- she's probably waiting for you to make it official or assuming it already is.

Do the decent thing here and break it off. Using someone for sex is only going to make you an asshole-- and do you really want to tell the girl you meet and want a relationship with that you're breaking it off with this other girl you were just using for sex since you didn't have any other options at the time? Completely unattractive.

[lesa]

You are attracted to something about her otherwise you wouldn't do it again and again and again...it would just be a one night stand and then you would immediately bail. You are probably ashamed to be "attracted" to her in whatever way that you are and don't want others to know that you are.