Losing Your Virginity

[vashti]

Is this the worst serious advice ever made of LF?

He probably sent a PM to the kid offering to do the deed. Creep.

[denfor25]

He probably sent a PM to the kid offering to do the deed. Creep.

vashti, please allow me to ask you, why are you referring to me as a third person, when I am right here, in this threat? Do not have the courage to say to me what you wanted to say, or your parents did not teach you any manners?

[vashti]

You only have a few posts. Most of the newbies post a few times and disappear, especially when they post things that indicate they are trolling.

Did you send the kid the offer, or didn't you?

And yeah, I think what you said was weird, and apparently I wasn't the only one. Do you often have that effect on people in real life?

[denfor25]

Is this the worst serious advice ever made of LF?

lesa, i am not sure what did not you like in particular? Sure, you, as a woman, offered bunch of criteria such as emotional side, feelings, readiness and so on; what I am offering, as a man, is purely logical criteria - somebody wants to have sex => should be able to do it with anybody => wait until the legal age limit. As simple as that. Woman or man point of view are not better or worse, they are different

[lesa]

lesa, i am not sure what did not you like in particular? Sure, you, as a woman, offered bunch of criteria such as emotional side, feelings, readiness and so on; what I am offering, as a man, is purely logical criteria - somebody wants to have sex => should be able to do it with anybody => wait until the legal age limit. As simple as that. Woman or man point of view are not better or worse, they are different

That may be so but what was all of this gibberish?:::::

Covet,
you both do not know what you doing. If you are really want to do it, i say, use older responsible guy with experience; but he might be scared to do it with underage girl. So, then - wait until legal age limit...

Wait until legal age so that she can do it with an older responsible guy with experience? Because that's why she wants to have sex? I'm not following your logic.

Sounds a little like authoritarian parenting. And we know what happens to those kids....or maybe, you want a daring underage lover?

[denfor25]

....
Did you send the kid the offer, or didn't you?

And yeah, I think what you said was weird, and apparently I wasn't the only one. Do you often have that effect on people in real life?

vashti,
if you wish to know, no, I did not sent the kid the offer and would consider such behavior as highly inappropriate; furthermore encourage the kid to wait until legal age limit for the sake of herself and her potential partner; I am sincerely apologetic if I was not clear about what I wanted to say or being understand incorrectly.
Regarding your second statement, I am not aware of the facts if other people consider me weird; but sometimes wish I would be able to say what I wanted to say more clearly.
Please allow me to variate the consideration the following way: let say, 15 y.o. girl is asking on AA board if it is ok to drink booze at that age; that she wants it and even has a bottle ready to use; do or not to do is the question; subsequently she receives bunch of advices such as "are you sure you ready?"; "do you know how your emotions will change after?"; "make sure you doing it safe" and so on. Does it sounds ridiculous when it put this way? I say, it does!
And then what I am saying - if you can buy booze legally and you want to do it; do it; but if you can not buy it legally, do not do it and do not screw up the lives of people trying to acquire it!

[denfor25]

lesa,
not sure to what did you referred as giberish... the sign => is an arrow; like "therefore" is a logical chain, math term...

the age and legality point I tried to clarify in previous post; here I can assure you specifically, that I am NOT looking for underage lover; not sure how it is related to my original point though; at least, it was not my intention.

[vashti]

And then what I am saying - if you can buy booze legally and you want to do it; do it; but if you can not buy it legally, do not do it and do not screw up the lives of people trying to acquire it!

Covet,
you both do not know what you doing. If you are really want to do it, i say, use older responsible guy with experience; but he might be scared to do it with underage girl. So, then - wait until legal age limit...

Sorry for the misunderstanding, but your original post is very easily interpretted as follows:

If you really want to do it, I say use older responsible guy with experience, but he might be scared to do it with underage girl. (If) so, (then) wait until legal age limit.

Do you not see how this might be interpretted as advocating a child have sex with an adult, and wait until you are 18 only if he is afraid of being caught?

Is English your primary language?

[bluesummer]

I can't tell you how many people I know who lost their virginity at 15, and regret it completely.

I remember being 15, and one of my best friends telling me she'd done it, and she was so excited. I remember thinking "Jesus, you're too young for that!" but not saying it. Now that we're older, she looks back on it and is pretty annoyed. I waited until I was 18 and don't regret it at all.

[denfor25]

Sorry for the misunderstanding, but your original post is very easily interpretted as follows:

If you really want to do it, I say use older responsible guy with experience, but he might be scared to do it with underage girl. (If) so, (then) wait until legal age limit.

Do you not see how this might be interpretted as advocating a child have sex with an adult, and wait until you are 18 only if he is afraid of being caught?

Is English your primary language?

vashti,
what I intended to say, is may be "if you want to do something not sure about, ask somebody who knows better (here is older person); if it is clear then, that what you are asking about, is illegal (and here, it is!); but you still want to brake a law, it is up to you; but do not drag other people into this; better do it the right way"

you are 100% correct, English is my 3rd language.

Yes, I might me guilty of presenting the point that can be "interpreted" such and such way; whatever; but please note what kind of messages others are sending to 15y.o. person in this thread:
- are you sure you want to brake a law? Do you feel ready?
- if you are not ready; do not brake the law;
- how well do you know your partner-in crime? Are you emotionally attached to him? Can you fully trust him?
- do you realize how your emotions will be affected as a result of such act?
- if you want to do it, do it with underage partner so if you basted, that at least none of you are going to the jail for some time.

[vashti]

I didn't give that advice. I think she's too young. Period.

[denfor25]

I didn't give that advice. I think she's too young. Period.

vashti, and I did not say that you did But I have read it (or shall we say, interpreted?) this particular way in some posts above; so somebody must have!

[lesa]

vashti,
what I intended to say, is may be "if you want to do something not sure about, ask somebody who knows better (here is older person); if it is clear then, that what you are asking about, is illegal (and here, it is!); but you still want to brake a law, it is up to you; but do not drag other people into this; better do it the right way"

you are 100% correct, English is my 3rd language.

Yes, I might me guilty of presenting the point that can be "interpreted" such and such way; whatever; but please note what kind of messages others are sending to 15y.o. person in this thread:
- are you sure you want to brake a law? Do you feel ready?
- if you are not ready; do not brake the law;
- how well do you know your partner-in crime? Are you emotionally attached to him? Can you fully trust him?
- do you realize how your emotions will be affected as a result of such act?
- if you want to do it, do it with underage partner so if you basted, that at least none of you are going to the jail for some time.

If that is your interpretation, then you must improve your English reading skills.

And being an "authoritarian parent" will not help the situation. Teens need information and not the "because I said so" mentality of others.

[denfor25]

If that is your interpretation, then you must improve your English reading skills ....

Lesa, I do not have to do everything that you, for instance, consider that I "must" do; I may appreciate a considerate suggestion once you provide one; and I see how you are not being authoritarian in this post in conjunction with advice not to be authoritarian; that is a new heights of integrity!

Regarding the last "interpretation", I know what said, there was some exaggeration, it was intentional, just to highlight the point of why all this emotions talk; and my point of advice to 15 y.o. is again - if you really want to do something but have doubts, ask an adult; if what you are asking for, is ILLEGAL for an adult to do; IS IT WISE for you to do it together with your underage buddy?

[Aeradalia]

The con's far outweigh the pro's when it comes to underage sex... this much we can agree on.

It is highly recommended that any 'child' who wishes to have sex... should take it upon themselves to either research as much about sex as they can or consult someone older and trustworthy about the emotional and physical aspects of sex... including the consequences.

This is what any adult would do in regards to something this potentially life-altering... and so if the child wishes to take on an 'adult' activity... then they need to approach it in the same fashion as an adult would. Also, just like an adult... if they find they simply are not ready for such responsibility... then they need to NOT go through with it.

It's not so much about being physically 'too young'... it's about the fact that a 15 year old simply cannot handle the same kinds of pressures that an adult can... they cannot see that far into the future... and they cannot grasp life-altering consequences of the decisions they make.

Why on earth would they want to put that kind of pressure on themselves anyway? Enjoy your childhood... it's far too brief... and adulthood is very, very long in comparison.