Heartbroken...again

[naoki322]

So i was dating my new co worker for awhile. We hit it off right away. We both have VERY different cultures. There weren't many people like us dating. Anyways...originally i got into this with a very casual mind set. "Hey, i'm just dating this woman, she's cool. but if it doesn't work out. whatever it was fun."

Boy did that ever backfire. I am madly in love with her. But she has some baggage at the time. She still had feelings for someone back from her previous city she lived in. She felt guilty dating me, and didn't want to lead me on any longer, she said the flicker we had was gone.

So she broke it off. I know she cares about me. We're still friends now. But unfortunately i am still very much in love with her. It's really hard for me to be friends with her. I still have that crave for her attention. We did at one point agreed to not speak/see each other for awhile.(but of course on occasion we would have to work together) So i can mend.. It worked for awhile. I was slowly started not to crave for her. But we started hanging out again recently...I realized I've made no progress. I still feel the same around her.

The other day we hung out all day, and acted just like when we were dating. She's not very touchy to people she isn't involved with. But at the movies we sat like how we would sit before, shoulders touching and our faces practically next to one another. I think at one point during that day she even accidentally called me "Baby". I've spoken to her about the person she still had feelings for, she said that she no longer cares about him anymore. I have given in before and asked for her back. But that didn't work and i just make myself feel even worse.

I'm sure she still has some feelings for me... I'm really at a loss at what to do...Should i keep hoping that i'll be with her again? Should i stay friends with her but deep inside that pain will always be there. Or i can just tell her it's too painful to be friends with her and lose her forever? This issue has been bothering me too long. Sorry for the long post.

[CocoChanel]

Don't be sorry for the long post. So you say you asked her to be with you again and she said no? How long ago was this when you asked her and how long was the break up.

[naoki322]

We stopped dating around the end of December. I've asked her if we can date again around a month later. I know for a fact she cares for me.(In a platonic way, possibly more..something is still left maybe.) She's the kind of person who wouldn't even associate themselves with someone if she didn't care.

[CocoChanel]

So she gave herself a month to get over her feelings for the other guy? Maybe you should keep things strictly friends for a while. I know it might be hard but I would keep my distance because it she doesn't have a good grip on this.

She started dating you even though she was still diggin someone else. It sounds like she is on the rebound.

[naoki322]

So she gave herself a month to get over her feelings for the other guy? Maybe you should keep things strictly friends for a while. I know it might be hard but I would keep my distance because it she doesn't have a good grip on this.

She started dating you even though she was still diggin someone else. It sounds like she is on the rebound.

Our situation is really complicated to map everything out. When she moved here, she didn't really expect to date anyone. But like i said. We got along surprisingly well.

I was aware of the fact that she still had lingering feelings for the guy back in her old city. She told me herself, in fact she has even warned me to stay away from her while we were dating, she did genuinely have feelings for me, but at the same time there was instances where she was just using me as a rebound.

I was just too in love to care...she actually told me NOT to fall in love with her but i did...oddly when i told her i was, we were reminded of "a walk to remember" except no one was dying.

[Cbrider]

Welcome to the "dated a co-worker and it didn't go well" club.

Live and learn from that one, I'm right there with ya.