Do things change from high school to college?

[MisterFlapJack]

I'm a senior in high school and I've never really connected with too many girls (except 1 earlier this year, but she moved). You see, I'm more into the "pretty, innocent, smart" girls rather than the "hot, crazy, rebel" girl. It seems like all the girls in high school are all trying to be the "hot" girl. Occasionally I'll see the "pretty" one, but they're always taken.

Do things change in college? Like are they more approachable in college? In high school girls always stuck together in groups and that made it hard to talk to her. I'm guess since my high school dating life failed, I'm worried college will be the same. I just can't seem to meet any of those "pretty" girls.

By the way, I'm not ugly or anything. Very often girls call me cute and smile at me and stuff, but I just don't see myself with those "hot" girls. Hopefully I'll meet a "pretty" girl soon. I had one, but she moved.

[Pectabyte]

things change a bit but not necessarily for the better. College is your first freedom in life so people tend to sleep with each other just because they can. Your tastes may change.

[23mako]

In high school you have a group of girls that you know as being the beautiful ones. You might also know a few girls from schools close by, but for the most part you don't know a ton of beautiful girls. When you get to a big college there are 10,000 girls your age and most of them are very smart. A lot of them are beautiful. You have so many more opportunities to meet an awesome girl. Small colleges aren't that great. Eventually when you are a junior or a senior in college you won't have any problem finding girls because freshman girls all want to find an older guy. The big change is you can meet girls whenever you want. You can go to a party any night of the week and meet new girls. If you get rejected, so what. Move on to the next girl. There are hundreds of girls at the school that want guys to show interest in them. The more girls you talk to the better you will get at talking to girls. Eventually you will actually figure out how to get girls interested in you. Once you figure that out you will graduate or flunk out. Long story short.. things change. Mostly it is you that will change. If you quit worrying about being rejected and started trying to talk to girls now things will change for you before college. You don't have to ask them out. If you learn to carry on pleasant conversations with them you will meet female friends. One thing is for sure, you will never find a girl if you don't start talking to new girls.

[Pectabyte]

Going to college to meet a girl is shallow and stupid...

[vashti]

... yes - perhaps, but hoping for a decent social life is normal.

FlapJack - things will change in college if YOU change in college. There will be a lot more girls around, but you will still have to learn how to approach them and ask them out. I suggest you not wait until you find a girl you think is absolutely perfect, but rather, try dating girls that are "good enough" so you can gain some experience and confidence for when Ms. Perfect shows up. There is no reason why you shouldn't be dating for fun - just tell girls you aren't interested in having a girlfriend yet.

[MisterFlapJack]

Going to college to meet a girl is shallow and stupid...

That's not the reason I'm going to college. I'm going for my future. I'm just asking because I'm going to be there for a while and I am wondering if it's the same.

I guess you guys are right though. I'm just too picky.

[doppelgaenger]

When you come to college, you are going to meet all kinds of different people (and women) if you put yourself out there. Even girls from other countries! Why do you think it's called university? The whole thing is about coming together as a unified body of people and sharing ideas.

In college it becomes all about where you look. Right now you are in school pretty much all day. You are on campus until 3pm (or whenever) when school gets out. At Uni, there are all kinds of things happening at once. Classes meet in blocks, there are many organizations, hell, people play volleyball in vacant grassy lots in various areas. I like to sit outside and draw/paint when it's warm enough outside. People sit under trees and study. Most people are very social and are willing to meet other people... especially freshmen.

But as for women, I think that most of them are rather slutty in college. Most relationships are not serious or long term... then again, it depends on where you look and who you meet. If you go to parties, you're just going to find a bunch of lipstick lesbo sluts. If you go to the library, you might bump into one of those, but there are probably going to be nice studious girls, too. Those are the vaguest examples though... there are all kinds of things to do, places to go, and people to meet. I mean, I occasionally go to parties, and I'm not a frat boy or anything like that.

[First]

tha only thing tha should change is ur pimp game mo. gotta love it b.

[Pectabyte]

BTW foreign women are a lot more lady like and normal.

[doppelgaenger]

BTW foreign women are a lot more lady like and normal.

Not always. We only (usually) get to see the best of them... the ones who get high enough grades to afford studying abroad... and even still, those ones are often very studious and don't want anything to do with guys here.

[Cbrider]

College and high school are different, but I found for me that the change was age related, not school related. College is going to introduce alcohol in a big way unless you attend BYU or something of that nature. Alcohol has a tendency to make you step outside your comfort limits and make you do things you wouldn't normally do (for instance I dance when drunk). This is a good and bad thing, you will be a lot more outgoing and open minded, but you also don't make the best decisions.

It might sounds silly to bring up alcohol, but believe me, it becomes a huge factor when you turn 21 and can legally drink or do whatever you please. Thats where my age change came into play. I had always been the nice, reserved guy in high school and early college, girls thought I was cute and liked me, but I was not interested in dating for whatever reason. I turned 21 and realized that it sucked being by myself all the time and that I wanted something different. A girl kind of fell into my hands through work and I started dating her. Long story short she turned out to be severely insecure and drifted away from me when I stopped putting up with the bullshit. She found a guy who is probably the biggest puss I have ever met and the rest is history. I got burned hard but I am glad I did, it turned me from the nice, shy guy into the nice, outgoing guy. Breakup have a funny way to revealing true colors of people and give you a chance to see just how you react and handle it.

I use to find it difficult to talk to girls or to flirt with them, its starting to become second nature to me and something I am completely comfortable with. I am single and very happily so. I have fun and am free to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I have decades of time to devote myself to that special woman in my life, marriage isn't a god damn race like people seem to think, lol.

Two things I have learned from dating that seem to hold true for me. First off, attitude/personality is everything, you can attract girls without saying a word. Girls are attracted to a guy with a bit of a mystery side to him, just don't go overboard. Second, you will find a girl when you STOP looking for one. It sounds really strange, but when you're not looking you are you. You're being yourself which is ultimately what you want a girl to be attracted to, you can't put up a false front forever, plus it would only make you miserable in the long run.

I kind of went off on a tangent here, but I don't really know how else to explain it. The short answer is yes, college will change the dating scene, the long answer is that its more of a change in you that the surroundings. Welcome to growing up and the twenty somethings, its awesome!

[IndiReloaded]

But as for women, I think that most of them are rather slutty in college. Most relationships are not serious or long term... then again, it depends on where you look and who you meet.

Well, I agreed except for this part.

Do really well in your first year FlapJack, get on the DL and then get a single dorm room. Then tutor girls there. I hear that sometimes works.

[Pectabyte]

Not always. We only (usually) get to see the best of them... the ones who get high enough grades to afford studying abroad... and even still, those ones are often very studious and don't want anything to do with guys here.

I agree totally.

[Lonely Island]

College is more filled with females who are either taken or are not looking for a relationship because of their past

[Cbrider]

College is more filled with females who are either taken or are not looking for a relationship because of their past

I don't know what school you go to, but around here the girls are significantly hornier than the men. Not that its a bad thing.