Ok so I've been seeing this girl for a while now, about 6 months and although we dont spend alot of time together we do talk all the time... Im a 20 year old virgin and pretty much everything is new to me... making out and just having someone to touch... just making out with her and touching her used to make my dick hard, like really hard.. so the one time she can come over to my house we start going a little further... my dick got hard when we were making out but its like the further we went the less hard i got. Well we went the furthest we've ever gone and she was ready to have sex, I mean it was just down to me getting hard before we did it but I just couldnt get it hard, it kind of made her upset but she said it was ok and went home.... Im not really sure what to think about this... its bad enough I've gone this long without someone that I really care for and now I cant even get hard to have sex with her...Does this happen to other people in my situation? It might also be useful to know that she has a boyfriend which I know sounds bad but they were broken up when we talked, then we stopped talking and they got back together and we've just been friends since then but it started going further recently...She tells me alot of bad things about him like she wants me to offer her something better... I guess inside i feel like its not really the right time to have sex...I want it to be right and its not really there yet... but I dont want our chance to pass either... So if anyone might know why i couldnt get hard for the one time in my life that i wanted to the most, please share your thoughts.. I could use alot of advise...
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24-03-09, 03:57 PM #1
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Virgin cant get hard at the most important time...
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24-03-09, 04:07 PM #2
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Well, aside from trying to mess with someone that's taken already, your limpness may be associated with anxiety to do the deed. You're so caught up in losing your virginity, that you're putting too much pressure on the lil' guy ... just relax and feel like it's just another part of life.
no autographs, please!
The more I see, the more I don't know for sure. - John Lennon
Life is ... Too Short.
"It seems we living the 'American Dream', but the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem. The prettiest people do the ugliest things ... for the road to riches and diamond rings."
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24-03-09, 04:08 PM #3
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Listen to alot of Wu-Tang......thats what helped me
lol, but really...your body hasnt experienced anything like that before and it is very confused...
Just give it time...you should be fineRelationships are never a threat, cause I'll Erase the history and act like we never met
--Joe Budden
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24-03-09, 04:27 PM #4
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son go drink a red bull mo. u should be good to go.
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24-03-09, 05:25 PM #5
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Consider your dick to be a guidance counselor, its guiding you away from this train wreck of a girl. Shes taken and not happy, thus looking to you for an out. Get the hell out of there as fast as you can, this wont end pretty or happy for that matter.
"What you really fear is inside yourself. You fear your own power.
You fear your own anger, the drive to do great and terrible things."
The Warmonger
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24-03-09, 10:54 PM #6
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lmao, listen to ur dick? imagine that for advice to live by
Originally Posted by Cbrider
u'd be screwing everything.
hmm, seems like u just got too worked up about it, let ur mind close down next time... u need the blood to be in ur other head to get hard :p
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24-03-09, 10:59 PM #7
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I was literally going to say the exact same thing as Cbrider. Your dick is looking out for you! You don't want your first time to be under these sketchy circumstances! Wait till it's with a girl you can feel good about!
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24-03-09, 11:58 PM #8
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I guess I was just a little too anxtious... Regardless of how bad the situation is i still have feelings for her.. well anyways i appreciate all the comments...
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25-03-09, 12:00 AM #9
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Feelings? Bull. You're a virgin and you just want to ****. Good luck with that.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
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25-03-09, 01:22 AM #10
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Originally Posted by Cbrider
How bad does a situation have to be for the dick to even agree "hell no... I won't go.."?
I think you're having a conflict between losing your virginity and your conscience (being with a girl who is already taken). Seems like your dick is siding with your conscience... oddly enough.
Btw.. have you tested for STD's? Woud really suck to get crotch rot from your first introduction into sex..."The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
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25-03-09, 04:59 AM #11
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Having had this problem before I'd say you need persistance and your confidence has to survive a few women that might lose interest in you because of it. Also, once everthing's lined up for you to do the deed you might not be able to get off. This is every bit as bad a problem as occasional impotency (well, not quite as bad...) because most women can't or don't want to go 13 hours straight. For the firrst few years you may have to give them theirs and not yours. For me it's comfort zone. I can get hard with a girl I'm not fully comfortable with but when it comes time, I doubt my own chances. It's not just virginity either, after 3 years of abstinance you might forget what it's like.
Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My god, what have we done to you?
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26-03-09, 08:00 AM #12
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alot guys go through this, your just putting alot of pressure on yourself. And no matter how many times you tell yourself to relax, you just can't.. it's sux, i know! u might want to consider taking viagra or cialis the first time. you'll lose your virginity and the anxiety will decrease tremendously the next time you all have sex. Originally Posted by inspectahdeck
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26-03-09, 10:33 AM #13
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Maybe it's your conscience trying to stop you from making a mistake? Originally Posted by inspectahdeck
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
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26-03-09, 10:44 AM #14
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Most people's consciences kick in BEFORE or right after the makeout part ... Originally Posted by Mishanya
no autographs, please!
The more I see, the more I don't know for sure. - John Lennon
Life is ... Too Short.
"It seems we living the 'American Dream', but the people highest up got the lowest self-esteem. The prettiest people do the ugliest things ... for the road to riches and diamond rings."
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28-03-09, 02:36 PM #15
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Maybe you should listen to your dick instead of your hormones. It's probably right in this case...
"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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