Just wondering...

[Kozuka]

Well, ill just get straight to the story. ive known this girl since high school and had a slight crush on her then but never really acted on it, however about 3 years ago the same girl started hanging out with my sister so I started seeing alot of her....she has always flirted with her and stuff.

so about 2 years ago she came to my house a little drunk with my sister planning on staying the night and just so happen i was at home from work (i work 3rd shift so its rare im at home at night) so she sees my light on and come in my room as my sister went to bed so i was a little confused when she came in and laid next to me so I decided to make a move by starting by tickling her until i was on top of her then i leaned in to kiss her and she kissed me back!....well i didnt take it much further that night because i didnt want to "take advantage" of her ...so we hung out a few times alone after that and she called me on the phone nearly every night while i was at work but i never really felt that i should make another move. Some time after that she got a serious b/f so i just stepped aside... well since then she has broken up with her b/f but gotten pregnant in the time they were dating (about a year and a half) well shes still pregnant (4 months) but shes always making joke about ME being the daddy (telling my family and friends that we both hang out with) only problem is i really have grown to liking the girl alot so i have been making small moves (dont want to try moving too fast since she hasnt been broken up with her b/f that long) but im wondering if I should try to be with her at all...i have thought about talking to her about it but i think that would be very wimpy of me to do so and would just be like some loser admitting a crush...i do believe she likes me back if only just slightly but i really dont know what to do for sure. Does anyone think I should talk to her...or should I just make a move in some way and see if I get blown off?

Sorry for the post being so long...i tryed to keep it as short as possible...but Please help im tired of thinking about this!

Edit: sorry forgot a few things that may be of some importance...

umm also there are a few people who tell her that she should be with me...namely my sister who is now her "Best Friend" which she told my sister that the only reason she doesnt date me is because she "doesnt want to be the one to take my virginity" and that i should go "screw a ho" i dont really understand this but its what she said...im wondering if it isnt an excuse... that is all

[Kozuka]

Noone has any advice? no help in this situation...?

[Kozuka]

Update: Since noone has posted a reply i figured id submit an update to the "situation". So the other nite we went out to a movie ("we" includes me the girl my sister and my sister's boyfriend) so me and the girl are sitting in the back seat and the whole trip she laid her head on my chest while i had my arm around her and held her hand...while we were at the movie we also held hands (i paid for the whole thing of course) then when we got back to my sisters house we all went to bed well while lying down she said something about her back hurting so I offered her a back rub. She accepted so i climbed into bed with her and massaged her body for a while... while we were going to sleep I had my arm around her waist...well I was about to goto sleep and she moved my hand to her boob...well i thought of this as just perhaps habit (i Thought she was asleep) so i left it there for a few minutes till she moved and i moved my hand away back down to her waist...well a few seconds later to my surprise she moved it back to her brest...so i decided to make a move and before i knew it we were laying holding each other....but then in the mist of everything she gets up and goes to the kitchen to smoke...(only place allowed to smoke in my sisters house)... a few minutes later she comes back to bed and we sleep for the rest of the nite with my arm around her...im really confused why she left in the middle of us just getting close... Please help.... i dunno what i should say or do to understand this girl...

[Spring Haze]

Before you make a move, ask yourself if you're willing to endure the drama of her having a child, and that child's father being in her life.

[Indignant]

hi Kozuka. just giving you attention so you don't feel left out. can't give any advice since the answer that you are looking for is too obvious.

[Kozuka]

Umm if i wasnt willing i wouldnt worrie about it so much...and the drama with her Ex isnt going to be a problem because hes going to prison for theft....so that isnt really a problem either. If its so obvious then why cant i see it?

[ecojeanne]

i don't think the situation is a good one at all. she is preggers and smoking yikes..anyway the ex is going to prison and will be out again at some stage. the reality of this situation is quite bad for all involved. other then that it is up to you to decide what kind of drama you are willing to put up with for this girl

[alovehangoverr]

Are you sure this is a situation you want to be involved in?

She's pregnant [and she was smoking? I'm confused-- did she have the child already, or is she still knocked up?]

Her babies father is going to jail.

She makes moves/allows you to make moves on her then bails-- pretty much both times. I'm not sure if you're just missing your chance or she's annoyed that you don't take more initiative. Also the whole virgin thing? Any girl who would rather you "screw a ho," then someone you care about [like.. maybe.. idk, HER] seems a bit off to me.

It sounds like somewhat of a trashy potentially drama filled situation. If I were you, I'd find a different girl to go after and let this one deal with all of the issues she's bound to have in her life given her situation.

[Cain]

When I was trying to imagine the people involved, I had a hard time not imagining this girl with the typical trailer park trash stereotype.

[timeless86]

She's smoking while pregnant?

Don't put yourself in this situation with her. Get out.

[Kozuka]

Okay when i said what should I do i dont think i made myself clear...obviously this doesnt sound like a very good situation...but just because "shes smokes while shes pregnant" your telling me to leave her to find another girl? nearly everyone i know except myself smokes so i really dont see the big deal...i do know you arnt suposed to smoke while pregnant but i dont believe you shouldn't judge someone based on this fact... but anyway back to my original point... Im not going to find another girl because i care about this one...call me crazy/stupid...but looks like ill be figuring this one out on my own

[alovehangoverr]

Okay when i said what should I do i dont think i made myself clear...obviously this doesnt sound like a very good situation...but just because "shes smokes while shes pregnant" your telling me to leave her to find another girl? nearly everyone i know except myself smokes so i really dont see the big deal...i do know you arnt suposed to smoke while pregnant but i dont believe you shouldn't judge someone based on this fact... but anyway back to my original point... Im not going to find another girl because i care about this one...call me crazy/stupid...but looks like ill be figuring this one out on my own

If you really think the smoking while pregnant issue is the only reason we're saying "don't do it," then I feel sorry for you and you'll have to learn the hard way.

Here's a good question though-- how do you expect her to care about her and give you the relationship you want if she can't even show proper care to the child she's carrying.

OF COURSE she's going to be judged for smoking while pregnant! Sure, lots of people smoke and whatever, I won't judge them-- but when you're smoking while you have a child inside of you who relies on you to keep it safe and healthy that's just ridiculous! Poor kid.. it's mom is selfish.