help me.. girlfriend and pot smoking

[confusedone123]

Hi guys,

io'd appreciate some feedback on my situation. So Ive been dating this girl for about three months. Basically.. its great.. I get along so well with her.. and find her company really interesting. she's bright and intelligent.. studying etc... and i can spend hours with her and not get bored..

I'm a bit concerned about her smoking habits. She smokes a lot and has been doing so for years now. Virtually every day .. I've seen her go through several joints in an afternoon or evening. At the moment she's studying abroad and I realise that she doesnt go out a lot.. doesnt do much socialising or have any interests.. apart from her school work. she just stays in and smokes. its worrying me because although I do smoke.. I definitely do not smoke as much as she does and I certainly have loads of other interests in life.. which I aim to keep up.

Im not sure what to do at this point. I really wouldnt like to give up on this but I am unconvinced about her ability to really bring it under control. And eventually I am sure that it will really start to annoy me although it hasnt bad any bearing on the relationship as yet.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

cheers.

tom

[vashti]

Every day? Yikes! That's a lot, especially given that it is interfering with her seeking out normal activities. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate someone getting high on an every day basis, although I don't really object to occassional use (I don't smoke, though). This is a matter of me choosing the lifestyle I want.

It sounds like you are outgrowing her, which is very normal for your age. You will soon have to decide whether or not she is going to be compatible with the lifestyle you want, and act accordingly. You might warn her in advance that this is bothering you, but quite honestly, I doubt she will care.

[Babeejulss]

Well, I've got to tell you that I have been with my husband for 8 years now and he is still smoking. He used to smoke everyday like 3 times a day and I used to smoke on occasion. I quit completely almost 2 years ago but I can't seem to get him to quit. He is down to smoking like 2 -3 days a week (atleast thats what i think). He says when you met me i smoked... so whats the difference? The difference is we are older and we want to start a family... And it is no longer something I want in my life.

So, you have to think about how this will be affecting your relationship in the future. Is this something you are willing to live with if she doesn't want to give it up?

[Only-virgins]

Pot is for idiots.

[lightwhite]

well u know what u have to do after she smokes buy some vodka or whisky or gin (which ever both of u enjoy more) have a couple of drinks invite alot friends to her house and then u all go out and go crazy all night long. whats the point of getting high if shes just going to sit around the house all day... boring.

[lightwhite]

Pot is for idiots.

u wont say that when u get really high one day and have sex all night long and ur orgasm is 10x stronger and longer

[confusedone123]

@ Babeejulss... you seem the person most able to identify with my situation. On the one hand.. Im reasoning that at the moment it doesn't really annoy me.. but it might in the future... but then again.. do I really want to muck something up that is so good at the moment.. based on what could happen in the future... ?

Its senseless thinking that far, when the worry might not even materialise... know what I'm saying. then again.. it worries me now.. so in the future as things get more serious it might definitely start to.

i havent talked to her about it yet.. any suggestions as to how and what to say?

cheers!

[Lipp]

u wont say that when u get really high one day and have sex all night long and ur orgasm is 10x stronger and longer

You wont say that when you wake up the next day castrated and can't for the life of you remember the phone number to emergency services.

Pot is for idiots.

[misombra]

You wont say that when you wake up the next day castrated and can't for the life of you remember the phone number to emergency services.

Pot is for idiots.

lol you've been watching those reefer madness movies.

[misombra]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMrzGauQJdk"]YouTube - Reefer Madness Clip from 1937 movie[/ame]

[Cbrider]

u wont say that when u get really high one day and have sex all night long and ur orgasm is 10x stronger and longer

I'll say it when my body doesn't shut down 10 years prematurely because my lungs and brain are shot to shit.

Plus who's to say that those of use who don't smoke can't already shoot cum through walls...stronger isn't always better

[misombra]

drug laws= racism.

[GemStar]

Hi guys,

io'd appreciate some feedback on my situation. So Ive been dating this girl for about three months. Basically.. its great.. I get along so well with her.. and find her company really interesting. she's bright and intelligent.. studying etc... and i can spend hours with her and not get bored..

I'm a bit concerned about her smoking habits. She smokes a lot and has been doing so for years now. Virtually every day .. I've seen her go through several joints in an afternoon or evening. At the moment she's studying abroad and I realise that she doesnt go out a lot.. doesnt do much socialising or have any interests.. apart from her school work. she just stays in and smokes. its worrying me because although I do smoke.. I definitely do not smoke as much as she does and I certainly have loads of other interests in life.. which I aim to keep up.

Im not sure what to do at this point. I really wouldnt like to give up on this but I am unconvinced about her ability to really bring it under control. And eventually I am sure that it will really start to annoy me although it hasnt bad any bearing on the relationship as yet.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

cheers.

tom

Hey Tom. Good post, man. Wow, I'm seeing a lot of frightening responses here from people who seem to be giving really bad advice. I hope you take it all with a grain of salt.

I definitely think the best thing in a relationship to avoid roadblocks before they get here is COMMUNICATING openly and honestly. Maybe you could find the words to tell her how you feel without making her feel wrong or "on the spot." It is pretty common for potheads and other drug users to become introverted and lose contact with the outside world.

I definitely understand what you mean about that it could become annoying. I have been with a person who used to smoke tobacco a lot and I have said fairly directly that "I would never live with someone who smokes inside the house." I don't think you should be as overt as I have been. But being honest about your concern should bring about a dialogue that might help. Use common sense in it all and definitely make sure that she doesn't come across as being wrong in any way.

[confusedone123]

@Gemstar,

thanks for your advice.. again.. its helpful.. unlike some of the other posts which don't address my concern. I'vde decided.. after speaking to a few of my friends in person.. that i am gonna stick with it.. and instead of bailing, try and see how I can help her deal with it.. she's got so many amazing qualities which she just doesn't utilise because she's cooped up alone.. with loads of studies.. and in her free time there's really little to do.. except smoke...

as you said.. its a question of tackling it rationally.. and dealing with the situation with use of common sense.. AND LOTS OF DIALOGUE.. thanks for the advice.. all of you!