Haunting past affecting new and true love.

[somethingreal]

I’m in a situation where I am very much in love with this woman that is like no other that I have loved. Her name is Vickie. Vickie really makes me very happy and I know that I would love the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with her. Here is the problem. Vickie is friends with a woman that I have had a relationship with. Her name is Alison. Alison has told her things that I said to her. Alison also told her about songs that I sent her through voicemail. The thing is that I have told Vickie some of the same things and also sent her songs. Vickie now fears that she is walking in the same shoes that others have walked in. Vickie tells me that she loves me, but she is afraid of being hurt. I don’t have any intention on hurting Vickie. All I want to do is love her for a lifetime. I don’t want the past to screw up our future. I’m not a bad guy. It has taken me a long time to find this real love and I don’t want to lose it. Please help me with this.

[Aeradalia]

I wonder if showing Vickie this post would be helpful or harmful to the present situation?

[somethingreal]

I really dont think it would matter. I told her about this site but I dont think she has taken the time to check it out.

[GemStar]

I’m in a situation where I am very much in love with this woman that is like no other that I have loved. Her name is Vickie. Vickie really makes me very happy and I know that I would love the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with her. Here is the problem. Vickie is friends with a woman that I have had a relationship with. Her name is Alison. Alison has told her things that I said to her. Alison also told her about songs that I sent her through voicemail. The thing is that I have told Vickie some of the same things and also sent her songs. Vickie now fears that she is walking in the same shoes that others have walked in. Vickie tells me that she loves me, but she is afraid of being hurt. I don’t have any intention on hurting Vickie. All I want to do is love her for a lifetime. I don’t want the past to screw up our future. I’m not a bad guy. It has taken me a long time to find this real love and I don’t want to lose it. Please help me with this.

Well first of all, I wouldn't use all of their names on here! Heh.. But anyhow... You seem pretty honest about it all and you seem to have a good understanding of your own feelings. That's pretty solid ground to start from if you ask me.

I think the absolute best thing you could possibly do is COMMUNICATE with Vickie. How many relationships have problems because the people can't communicate effectively? Lots. I think you need to be honest and address the concern directly. Just say, "I know you feel this way but I honestly feel this way about you..." and just get it out there so you can allay her fears. Then you'll both feel better.

I never recommend doing this during an emotional state. I also don't recommend saying TOO much and making her think you're unbalanced or anything. Just be cool and open an honest dialogue with her. I think it will work out OK.