Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
In that case, why bother debating ANYTHING? Ever?
It's not to decide which side is right and which is wrong, or necessarily even to find common ground. Ideally, we could gather up all the ideas floating around in this thread and synthesize a third possibility, better than either of the two sides, but in the meantime, at least it's interesting to hear everyone's opinions.
In my opinion.
I think a lot of what comes up here IS actually 'news' to some ppl. There is a lot of mis/disinformation about marriage & childraising. Its good for you young ones especially to read about the reality of these things from real ppl. Particularly if you aren't hearing it from your parents. Teachers, mentors and other authority figures in your life may also be able to provide this, but frankly speaking as one of those ppl, I'm more inclined to tell it like it is here on LF than to divulge anything about my marriage and child rearing philosophy to one of my students. For all the reasons you might imagine. Same for Cam also, I'm sure.
Cam's diagnostic point about us moving away from a societal standard actually points to a solution for the crap a lot of kids are experiencing. A reaffirmation of personal responsibility and commitment. He's telling you, rightly, not to buy into the 'virtue' of the victim mentality. That stuff about the philosophers was just his (very erudite) way of saying the argument was false b/c he could give examples where wisdom did NOT arise from adversity. Tho, who knows? Maybe Socrates came from a broken home too. But the point about how to fix these problems in your life is the key.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
I can't wait to not get married!!!
"Why are you an atheist?"
"because I paid attention in science class."
Well it seems to me like you have no faith in humanity. May I ask what happened to you?
It's hard for me to fall in love with 'just anybody', and I don't use the word love lightly so I'm willing to bet that I will be as happy as my parents are after 35 years of marriage. I don't care how much of a cliche that is...that's what I believe.
So, the last paragraph is 'class-consciousness' or what? Well, I have no idea what you mean by "comfortable" because there isn't a person in the world (or at least damned few) who have led a life without blemish. Good can come from bad situations--I know from personal experience. I also know that there are tons of examples of people who don't learn the right lesson from bad situations. I also know that a wise person will be able to identify the right path in life regardless of their experiences.
your idea is great!I agree with you