I didn't mean to cheat

[chrisodeo]

Hiya. I feel really bad about something. Might as well tell you, I don't want to be accused of spam. It started a few weeks ago. But I'll go back a little further than that. See, that was when I started going out with my girlfriend. It was almost a year ago. Anyway, we got together, and really hit it off. She has a lot of, well, I don't want to call them problems per se; I'll say issues. She's got low blood sugar, epilepsy, semi-high blood pressure, and enough family issues to last soap operas for decades. Those have never come into play in our relationship though. I love her, she loves me back, and we couldn't be happier. In fact, I'm planning to propose on our one-year anniversary. That's the good part.

The bad part is something I don't want her to know. I recently moved to college. The first week, I went to a party and met a girl there, and we danced quite a bit. The kind of dance with grinding and bumping etc. I walked her back to her dorm (we're in the same building, different hall). Next week, we went to a campus-sponsored fair thing and played some games while the music was going on. This week we watched a movie in my dorm, and I kind of put my arm around her like so. We watched the movie, played around, talked, normal stuff. Then as she was leaving she gave me a hug and we kissed. I know it doesn't seem that bad to some of you, but my current girlfriend has said on more than one occasion, if I cheat, I'm out. I didn't even know what I was doing at the time - it's so lonely here. My girlfriend lives 1.5 hours away. I'm wondering... how bad would this be? Also, is it possible to beg forgiveness? Or should I just keep it to myself? She is planning on going here next year, so if I try keeping it a secret there's a good chance it'll get out sometime. What do I tell the new girl? I'm just so confused and angry with myself. Help?

[GBRaul]

Tell her that you kissed another girl but you didn't go any further. You've really got to tell her, and apologise. Promise her you'd never do it again, and... never do it again! It's better if she heard it from you rather than anyone else, cos some other pricks might just warp the story and tell your g/f that you f*cked someone else or something.

[LucidDream]

Honesty is an admerable trait.
Tell her about it and you might gain some points, or you could lose a few, but I dont think she will break up about it if you told her (though it is still possible).
Though if she finds out from someone elce, you will lose ALOT of points, and you might break up depending on her, and how well you apologise.
Plus if you hide it, it will probaly eat at you until you tell her.
The sooner you tell her, the better.

[cbee]

Tell her, I just found out my ex cheated on me from someone else and it damn near killed me that he lied to me about it and noone told me about it.

I felt like such a mug, that everyone knew about it and not me.

So, yes I agree you have to tell her about it.

[MJK]

I say dont tell her, it will just hurt her.

What you dont know can't hurt you

[cbee]

The problem is most people nearly always find out.

If only because no matter what you think if you care about her it'll change your behaviour and she'll get the feeling something is up

[swimmingNreverie]

I mean, you want to tell her because you don't want her to find out.

But you should prepare yourself for her breaking up with you.

But if you guys are in love, hopefully she will forgive you. If I was her I would, even though I would be angry with you for a little bit.

Good luck tho!

[chrisodeo]

What do I tell the other girl though? "Oh, sorry, that girl in those pictures on my shelf really was my girlfriend"? I don't want to make her hate me as well. She is nice and very sweet as well, so I don't want to hurt her. Plus, she just got through a difficult breakup, so I don't want her to be even more hurt by this. I'm also afraid that if I tell anybody, a big rumor is going to start about me. If I was single again nobody would date me because of my reputation. Oh, how I wish for an easy way out.

[zas]

Forget the other girl, you love your gf right?! this other girl is probably just infatuation. It's not your fault she went through a breakup, for all you know, you could just be a rebound guy. She'll get over it, in the meantime tell your gf, dont do it again, and leave the other girl to it!

[cbee]

I'll second zas.

You've only just started uni right - honestly it won't rebound that much. We had guys with awful reputations at our college and, somehow, they still kept/made friends.

[sfalexi]

If you're cheating on your girlfriend, you're obviously not close enough that you would turn down the opportunity. I say leave your girlfriend because it seems to me you're not ready to commit to her. If you were, you would not have taken it any further than that party. You WOULDN'T have arranged to meet for the campus fair. You WOULDN'T have arranged for a movie in your room and WOULDN'T have kissed her. You could have at ANY of these times told her you have a girlfriend and/or just stopped seeing her.

t's seems to me you're not dedicated enough to that relationship that's 1.5 hours away. So it looks to me like you need to breakup with her. Then you can feel free to be with this girl, or any other for that matter without a guilty conscience.

Rod Steele

[Rêveur]

I'm sorry, I have to agree with sfalexi. I mean, c'mon... this wasn't really an accident if you purposely tried to meet up with this girl.... and you invited her over for a movie alone in your room? Hm. Really now.
Plus, if you really solely and truly were committed to your girlfriend the problem with telling the "other girl" wouldn't even concern you. She is a female you cheated on your girlfriend with, what would you care if she hated you so long as you and your girlfriend were okay?
Whether its consciously or not you have other ideas that don't involve being completely faithful to your girlfriend. I think it's best for her if you at least take a break from your relationship to figure yourself out. I apologize for being so harsh, but this is the way I see it.

[zas]

bottom line, dont bloody cheat =|

[Fawn]

I wonder what he did? *is curious*

[chrisodeo]

Jeez. I arranged to meet her because I thought of her as a friend. Can't a guy have female friends without getting the moves put on him? In my family a kiss before leaving is just accepted. But I thought about it, and she really didn't know that. So that's not what that really meant. I posted here after realizing that. Now it seems to me like I knew it all along somewhere inside. It's not as bad as some things though, right? I mean, people go a lot farther than I did and still get forgiven. I do love my girlfriend, more than I would like to say here. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't be anywhere. I just don't know what to say that won't hurt anyone.