Why does it matter to me?

[mrdistant]

Hiya everyone, first post here - I'll introduce myself properly soon.

Im a 22yo male, and I met a beautiful girl just over a month ago. Shes 20yo. She's great fun and fantastic to be with.

We slept together at the weekend, and we spoke last night about getting checked out for sti's seeing as it feels like we'll be together for a while.

For some reason I asked how many people she'd slept with (its normally the girl who asks!) . She said 5. Now for some reason its been bothering me ever since - I think its just slightly more than I was expecting. I predicted (and hoped) maybe 3 partners, 4 tops.

Not really sure what im looking for here but really Im being selfish and Im letting it spoil my good impressions of her.

Fire away with thoughts and opinions please

ps. Ive slept with 15 girls, so its not more than me - not even close - but Im a whore.. lol

[Only-virgins]

If it bothers you than it bothers you. You won't get around it. Either you don't give a ****, or you do. Though you have been with 15 girls man so I can't understand why it would. 6 at 20 is a lot in my opinion too but 15 at 22 is more.

PS: not to mention it is only 5 actually because you shouldn't count yourself. Kind of weird if it bugs you that you slept with her if you know what I mean lol.

[mrdistant]

6 at 20 is a lot in my opinion too

Exactly what Im thinking. (Ive edited orignal post cos its really 5)

If it bothers you than it bothers you. You won't get around it. Either you don't give a ****, or you do.

I think Im bothered cos I like her.


ahh you edited your post. I wouldnt sleep with me...

[The_bobb]

Get over yourself man. 15 vs her 5? You've had 3 times as many partners... If it bothers you then suck it up and end it. But if you do, know full well your being the very definition of a hypocrite.

"A person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings"

[mrdistant]

Is 5 by 20yo quite high(shes 21 in june)? Most of my male friends my age (22) have only been with that many.

Its just totally bugging me cos she seemed a really decent, quiet girl - Ive just got a shock at the number. Doesnt stop her being decent of course, I just got this 'innocent' impression of her when she's not really that at all. I maybe feel deceived / cheated?

I know Im being a knob really, but surely there's others been in the same boat! and as I said previously - I think Im only bothered cos I actually like this one.

[mrdistant]

Completely off topic, but what do you call the inbetween stage of liking and loving someone. Ya know if your talking and texting and it goes from a 'I like you', to 'really like', then '????' and finally I 'love you'.

[Anomaly]

5?!? Get tested and let it go! If she's as beautiful as you say that she is, just be happy that she's with you. 5 doesn't sound like much to me, so I think that you should get past it! Good Luck! (although it doesn't see like you need it)

[misombra]

double standard?

[mrdistant]

Thank you anomaly.

What do you mean misombra?

[misombra]

i mean you're holding different standards for her than you are for yourself.

anyway. 5 at 20 is a little high. but your number is pretty high too.

i know somebody who revealed to her guy that she had a huge number of partners. he was upset about it and wrote depressing poetry for a couple months now they're married and he doesn't even think about it.

[mrdistant]

ah thank you misombra, I get you now.

I understand what you mean that my number is high, but does that mean I need to accept it for others?

[The_bobb]

ah thank you misombra, I get you now.

I understand what you mean that my number is high, but does that mean I need to accept it for others?

Dude... GET OVER IT, 5 partners is NOT that many... Your a very frustrating person... Here are your options.

1) Be a Big Boy. Get over it, move on, love her, have many many kids. Then die.

2) Be a Dick. Let it bother you that she's had a THIRD (that's 1/3) of the amount of partners as you. And dump her.

[mrdistant]

ahaha, and you seem to be a frustrated person bobb. Regardless, thanks for the advice.

As I said in the original post I didnt really know what I was looking for by coming on here. Maybe just some reassurance.

[Gigabitch]

Guys that stress that their gf has been with other people (whatever number they choose to draw the line at) are not easy to reassure. This is definitely a YOU problem.

This kind of insecurity will poison your relationship. Cut it out at the root.

[misombra]

it sounds like he's bothered by it because he can't imagine her being used or hurt by guys or it upsets him that that is a possibility. that's why he keeps saying that it bugs him because he likes her so much.