Do I tell my boyfriend I love him? Help!

[dekaal12]

I've been seeing for current boyfriend going on 9 months now, I know I love him and I want to be able to tell him I do but I don't want to be the first one to say it. Im not sure if he loves me too but I feel like he does by the way he acts and treats me. He's had relationships in the past where he was cheated on so I feel like he is hesitant to say anything to me. We've had a situation in the past were I kind of mentioned it to him and he ask me how do I know I love him and that's it, so i am kind of hesitant to say the actual words ' I love You' to him because I don't know what his response back to me would be. I don't want him to just say it because I said it to him, I know I really mean it and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. If anybody has good advice or has been in a similar situation please help!

[Mish]

9 months is long enough. Throw it out there and look for his reaction. Don't wait for him. If he doesn't reciprocate, it will be a good indication of where you guys are in the relationship.

[The_bobb]

Agreed, just say it... Don't drop the "Rest of my life" bomb on him JUST yet... but for sure tell him you love him.

If he asks you how you know... tell him the truth, tell him all the things you like about him... what he does that makes you happy. The reasons WHY you call HIM everyday to hang out....

[carl1222]

9 months is long enough. Throw it out there and look for his reaction. Don't wait for him. If he doesn't reciprocate, it will be a good indication of where you guys are in the relationship.

I'm not sure that's an acid test, Mishanya. He's been reluctant to say "I love you" because of some sh*tty past relationships. If he doesn't reciprocate immediately, don't be crushed ... give him some time to digest it, and have a discussion about it in a few days.

Carl.

[lilmama615]

I was exclusively dating my guy for some months and I told him I loved him FIRST. He asked me where it came from cause I just told him outta nowhere and I told him my heart because it's exactly how I felt. For awhile, he told me that I meant a lot to him and I guess that was his way to let me know that he sincerely cares about me as well but he didn't reciprocate either until later but it didn't make me love him any less nor did our relationship deteriorate because of it.

I, too, was feeling that he was just as in love with me as I was with him when I told him that I loved him. Just tell him exactly how you told us... that you don't want him to feel pressured or that he has to tell you he has the same feelings if his feelings haven't moved as far along as yours have. I've learned that no two people love the same. I'll never be able to love you like you love me and vice versa, if you understand what I mean.

[PamPam85]

I was in the same exact spot you are in now. I didn't want to be the first to say I love you but I got sick of waiting for my guy. So on Valentine's day I wrote a poem (not a mushy one) in his card. He instantly said I love you too! A couple days later he told me that he was relieved I said it because he was scared to say it first. So it worked out for us. Now we can't stop saying it.

[LoveHurts09]

yh, might be that he's scared of getting rejected if he gets serious or something like that.
dont make it into a life changing deal but just let him know u mean it aswell, he'll respond but it wont really change anything - u already said u feel like he loves u.

[cakalut]

If you love somebody, voice it out. Your boyfriend will wait for you to say it 1st and, he will keep waiting. But keep in mind that, when other girl say it 1st.. It will trouble your relationship.

[dekaal12]

Thanks for all the advice! I actually was with him the other day, and we were layin on the bed together and we were getting intimate and he jokingly said 'i hate you' cause of the way i was making him feel and i said well thats not nice because i love you. He didnt say anything to me but after that the way he made love to me way very different. I just feel like he's scared to tell me....I don't feel like its cause he doesnt like me, Im not the one who always asks to hang out, i feel he is very attached to me, I think i should just give him time for himself. I think it has to do with his past relationships.

[thafallenzero]

Aha. Well at an appropriate time when you guys are talking on the phone ask him if he recalls when you told him that you loved him and tell him you meant it and that you just want him to know. if he loves you, he will tell you. Dont expect a response, that way you wont be dissapointed. He will tell you eventually if it was meant to be.

[kate_spencer]

Dont expect a response, that way you wont be dissapointed. He will tell you eventually if it was meant to be.

That was a very nice advice fallenzero..
Just tell him you love him so much and don't wait for any response.. or tell him you love him and tell him that he don't have to respond if he's not ready yet to say it.. cause you feel it right, and that's all that matters. Though hearing those 3 words from your partner makes you love him more.. his actions on how to show his love for you is the most important.. and how you treat each other.

Just say the word.. and let the chips fall where they may.

[lolly25]

Just go ahead and tell him. You have been in the relationship for quite a time now and there should be no problem with telling him.

Im sure that all will be fine

[pamela975]

You could always make it pressure free, and say, i just wanted to tell you, and just listen, that i love you and then kiss him. If he doesn't reply then it's not like your hanging there. Once you put it out there, it may cause him to really think about his feelings and then return to the subject.