I don't like porn

[lesa]

Porn. I've look at it, I admit; but it is not a regular event in my life. Why look at it, though? Because they are caricatures--nothing about them is real, and by "real" I mean "normal" or "average."

The sexual circumstance isn't real, the bodies are not even close to real, the lack of any genuine emotion is not real.

For folks who have experienced childhood abuse or otherwise...casual viewing of the stuff is a way of relieving one's body of the hormones that cause pain and confusion. It is as if becoming an adult with adult's needs is a painful reliving of the experiences of childhood that one should never have had to endure.

I don't know your boyfriend's circumstances (nor, I suspect do you entirely know his story...things are hidden for life, sometimes), but sometimes, it is therapy for people...sometimes, they are trying to make the leap from something negative they view about sex to something they view positively--namely, a relationship with a nice person like yourself. In that case, he wouldn't be comparing you to them in any way that would suggest that you become more like them.

You may have a point. The 3 guys I know who regularly watch porn have an interesting past.

I am the minority that doesn't enjoy watching any porn that doesn't look "romantic and sensual". I can look at a still picture and use my imagination or watch one of those "educational" porns that sometimes look like the couple like each other. I'm usually making faces though. I can't get into them that much.

That "regular" porn doesn't do anything for me. I'm taking glimpse and in awe with the couple(s) who appear to have psychological problems. I can't enjoy that! It doesn't turn me on. Maybe if I watched it as a teen I wouldn't be so disturbed by it as an adult.

But as I said I'm in the minority and I don't care what others choose to watch.

[Illusional]

If you really do not understand your boyfriend's or any guy's motives for watching porn... then how do you know they 'don't get it' in regards to your own insecurities?

Illusional makes a good point --- you are fretting over something you have no control over. You are comparing what you have to what the women in the porno's have... and you do need to just be happy with what you have and work with it.

that was my point exactly!! i don't worry about what others think. if you're so worried about your bf watching porn, then why do you act as though nothing is wrong. that is your own fault for letting him live this lie.

personally i'd rather have smaller breasts, but i guess i don't get it..??

raverboy

[Only-virgins]

Porn is awesome! I can see myself passed out in front of a computer with an empty bottle of Viagra in my older days. Those days will be awesome!

[Aeradalia]

Porn is awesome! I can see myself passed out in front of a computer with an empty bottle of Viagra in my older days. Those days will be awesome!

What a way to OD... hey, at least the coroner will have a few laughs...

[insidemyheart]

That's not what made me upset Illusional, the thing is I usually think guys use the penis argument as a cop out, blaming women for wanting men with bigger penises when it's not true. Usually it's men who are obsessed with the size of their penis, because some of us don't care about its size period. A penis, no matter what size can either hurt you or please you, that's why we care a lot more about technique. I even read a female porn star say that she prefers normal sized penises because big ones hurt in an interview. So that's why I dislike the penis argument.

The thing is I know men like these women because of their breasts. Maybe they've conditioned themselves, I don't know. My boyfriend's told me he likes big breasts. Some male friends I've had all like big breasts, and think the girls in porn are hot, some have confessed they wish their girlfriends looked like that. One of my boyfriend's friend is the heavy porn consumer type, he's usually sending my boyfriend pictures of naked women, and they all have what? BIG breasts! This guy is also usually talking to my boyfriend about porn.

I guess they are conditioned. I live in a country where silicone and all that is relatively new, so men still look at these women (usually celebrities) with awe after they get surgery, because they have bigger breasts than before. Every day women don't have silly-cones (as I like to call them) because there aren't many plastic surgeons and it is very expensive. But celebrities and models do. We're in summer (well, summer is ending) now and recently there was this music festival they hold every year, and they choose the festival's "queen". Usually, the chosen lady is an unknown model that comes here for exposure, and usually the one chosen is the one that shows off more skin. That's why, usually, the chosen queen is some sort of "glamour model", ie. a woman who makes a living posing nude. Well, I live in Chile. It's usally models from Argentina or Venezuela that win this thing because apparently surgery is cheaper in those countries.

Ah, well. I guess my insecurities are deep rooted too. The typical high school story. All boys went for the big breasted girls and ignored us small chested ones, blah, blah, but it's true. That I liked some guys and they rejected me and went for the big breasted girl, who was usually dumb, whereas I was smarter or more talented or nicer **. Sometimes I was called ugly, etc. Usually prom queens and other "queens" of that sort were the big busted ones. But anyway.

** I'm not implying that all big breasted women are dumb or cruel, but these girls in high school usually were.

[Aeradalia]

Once more insidemyheart... this is a YOU problem... these are YOUR insecurities... and you really need to stop blaming guys for how you feel. Feelings come from you and are about you...

Your boyfriend is with you.. isn't he? He's happy with you... isn't he? Apparently he's looking for something more than just a buxom beauty...

Men have brains too you know... contrary to all the stereotypes... they can say 'no' to their drives and actually think for themselves...

And I think that's what your boyfriend is doing... he knows he has found something good in you... something more important than bra size... Give your guy or rather, guys in general.. more credit...

[Illusional]

That's not what made me upset Illusional, the thing is I usually think guys use the penis argument as a cop out, blaming women for wanting men with bigger penises when it's not true. Usually it's men who are obsessed with the size of their penis, because some of us don't care about its size period. A penis, no matter what size can either hurt you or please you, that's why we care a lot more about technique. I even read a female porn star say that she prefers normal sized penises because big ones hurt in an interview. So that's why I dislike the penis argument.

see this is a double standard. i don't have the biggest dick in the world and i wouldn't mind a bigger one. but do you or anyone else on this forum hear me complaining about it? i don't let my insecurities stop me from having sex so why should you? it's the same concept.

i know that you dunno this about me, but i like fob japanese women. yet, those that are willing to venture out to the US usually tend to like either white or black men, so i guess i'm out of luck. but that doesn't stop me from liking what i like...

I guess they are conditioned. I live in a country where silicone and all that is relatively new, so men still look at these women (usually celebrities) with awe after they get surgery, because they have bigger breasts than before. Every day women don't have silly-cones (as I like to call them) because there aren't many plastic surgeons and it is very expensive. But celebrities and models do. We're in summer (well, summer is ending) now and recently there was this music festival they hold every year, and they choose the festival's "queen". Usually, the chosen lady is an unknown model that comes here for exposure, and usually the one chosen is the one that shows off more skin. That's why, usually, the chosen queen is some sort of "glamour model", ie. a woman who makes a living posing nude. Well, I live in Chile. It's usally models from Argentina or Venezuela that win this thing because apparently surgery is cheaper in those countries.

well it's not my fault that you live in a small town. keep in mind that the world is huge and not everyone will share your opinion. i am simply expressing how i feel, whether it be same or different than yours. i still like small breast, and i love porn.. everyone has their fetishes.

Ah, well. I guess my insecurities are deep rooted too. The typical high school story. All boys went for the big breasted girls and ignored us small chested ones, blah, blah, but it's true. That I liked some guys and they rejected me and went for the big breasted girl, who was usually dumb, whereas I was smarter or more talented or nicer **. Sometimes I was called ugly, etc. Usually prom queens and other "queens" of that sort were the big busted ones. But anyway.

** I'm not implying that all big breasted women are dumb or cruel, but these girls in high school usually were.

umm... i know that you're out of high school, so why are you keeping the same values?? people grow out of this train of thought, and if they don't, then why are you chasing immature boys?? im shallow so i can say that i look at looks first, and i highly doubt that you're anything like me. so with that in mind, start looking at guys who are interested in you for your damn personality instead of your chest size...

raverboy

[Illusional]

ps... if you show me your tits.. then i'm willing to give you a good massage.. just ask around forum. hahaha

raverboy

[insidemyheart]

Ok Illusional, I apologize, I certainly misjudged your words from what I see now. I now see your point. I guess it's hard to feel comfortable sometimes (to me at least) knowing in the back of my head there's something else he'd like better, that I cannot provide. But I guess it's human nature. I guess it's the same way that my cat can't provide me with all the humorous cat moments that I can see in youtube (yes, yes, I admit, I have a huge thing for cats). I love my cat and I'd sure as hell wish she was funnier, but she's cute and I love her anyway. Plus she's too old, but I digress.

And my damn personality is awesome, if I say so myself. Sure, here I sould like a crazy insecure idiot, but in real life, I'm so much more than that. I guess I have to rely on it on my way to self acceptance. Bumpy road ahead, but I'll make it.

[Gribble]

We like looking at big breasts, sure, but those big porn star boobies are hard as rocks. Most guys would rather have a normal-sized pair that they can squeeze and play with.

Porn is a visual thing. That's it. When your boyfriend wants something emotional and something tactile, he turns to you. Not those augmented women. You. Keep that in mind.

[Illusional]

see, now you're starting to realize that people will always see that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, yet whose yard do choose to live in??

raverboy

[Anomaly]

Well, some guys think big breasts are really sloppy-looking. This may not be a matter of him having no choice. I used to think all men were turned on by enormous boobs, too, but they actually aren't. Some are, obviously, but you might be surprised at how many guys think they're over the top and extreme.

You need to work on figuring out WHY he wants you. Clearly, it's not because of your knockout body. hmmm. There must be something more to you, then.

I'll bet if you gave every guy on LoveForum a list of 20 qualities they'd want in a girlfriend and asked them to put them in order of priority, things like "Trustworthy" and "Into Me" would be higher than "Porn Body".

You are 100% right, I don't like huge, FAKE breasts at all, I agree, trust is very important to me, personality, sense of humor, great smile, pretty eyes and natural hair. Being with somebody that makes you happy inside and out is the only thing that should matter. You are way better than any of those fake sluts, so don't bring yourself down to their level. Your man better be happy with your open mindedness, and he should be happy every day, and thank his lucky porn stars that he found somebody as awesome as you are!

I don't have any respect for girls who are in porn, and I don't understand why in the world they call them "stars". They are doing what humans and other animals have been doing since the beginning of time, getting plastic surgery and having sex in front of a camera doesn't take a drop of talent and it isn't appealing to me at all. I would never make the woman I am with watch that dreck if she didn't want to either. Calling these people stars and making them more worthwhile to pay attention to rather than a unique person like you is just plain goofy! Tell him exactly how you feel and he should get on his knees and kiss your feet for being so understanding.

[ecojeanne]

it amazes me how much people slag off big breasted women, it's a tough life guys, i've always hated them but jaysus it just makes me feel worse about them when people are sayin big boobs aren't nice......anyway in regard to porn, don't you fantasize at all? hey porn is fun to watch but it's not reality and clearly your bf knows this, he sounds sweet the way he offered to stop watching it, you should watch it with him.

[Mish]

Porn is an evil invention created by Satan in order to corrupt mankind. All must refrain from this evil temptation and relief their sinful urges in prayer!


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insidemyheart, what is you relationship like with your bf? Is it lacking in any area? Affection or time spent together?

[Krissykris]

Seriously I know exactly how you feel. My guy and I have been together for 2 years, he was a porn Fanatic! Like everyday all day [so disturbing]. But after awhile when we started getting serious I asked him to cut it out, cause I was self concious about 'down there', he said "I love the way you look! Porn is just something to waste time".

Well anyway, long story short, i caught him a few times watching porn, and almost broke up with him those times too. His excuse was "I'm addicted" so I took teh addiction away, I put a lock on his computer rating setting, no XXX sites allowed :O) HE said I could if i wanted to, so I did.

I always felt horrible and I felt horrible for making him stop watching it, but oh well, my feelings come before, he was never mean about it though.

All in all, guys are gross and you won't find one guy who never watches porn.