not yet ready?

[joecakes]

ok so if you propose to a girl to be your gf, and she says shes "not ready" what does that really imply? i mean how do you know your ready anyways?? or is it a context clue that says "i dont want you to complicate my life further"...

pls discuss...

Joe

[carl1222]

It could mean a lot of things.

It may mean that she's recently out of a relationship and doesn't want to jump into a new one. I personally think that a person should stay single after a breakup for about 2 months for every year they were together ... up to about 6 months for a 3+ year relationship.

It could also mean that they just want to enjoy being single at this point in their life.

It could also mean that she doesn't want to be your girlfriend and she's trying to let you down easy.

Carl.

[annoyed23]

I agree with Carl...it could mean you are in the "friend zone" and she doesnt see it going anywhere else, could mean shes out of a recent relationship, it could mean she wants to be single and do what she wants...

[joecakes]

is there no uber positive meaning to this??

[vashti]

I personally think that a person should stay single after a breakup for about 2 months for every year they were together ... up to about 6 months for a 3+ year relationship.

What about for long-term relationships, for example those that were 10+ years?

[Tashi]

What about for long-term relationships, for example those that were 10+ years?

*cough* as you qouted, "up to 6 months for +3 years"

[Aeradalia]

Many possible specifics... the only reason that really matters in your situation is this...

not ready = doesn't want to date you

Later on... when or if this woman is 'ready' and you're single... you can give it a try. So I wouldn't worry about it anymore... see if there are some other women who are 'ready.'

And no... no positive connotations from this. It's a decline to date you.

[carl1222]

What about for long-term relationships, for example those that were 10+ years?

I'm trying to be reasonable here, vashti ... that's why I capped it at 6 months. There is no mathematical precision here, and I was only suggesting MINIMUMS. I have no experience with a 10+ year failed relationship ... but I imagine you'd want to give it at least 6 months.

Carl.

[Mish]

ok so if you propose to a girl to be your gf, and she says shes "not ready" what does that really imply? i mean how do you know your ready anyways??

It implies she is not ready for a relationship. You know you are ready when you feel that you have the capacity to offer intimacy and commitment to your partner.

This is your red sign from her to stay away.