relationship help

[shadowhunter]

okay i have a problem..its a bit of a long story so i am gonan try and make it short
soo my girl friend is friends with this dude whos from another country and she trys to help him with his home work for his english class. there the other day he asked her to go swimming and i felt really weird about it but i wasnt jealous just felt weird inside sooo i talked to my girlfriend about it and then she started saying stuff that i dont trust her and if i really trusted her i would even have a problem with her going swimming with the dude but then i told later that day i didnt understand why she didnt ask me to go too...she told me she did but i didnt hear her..she felt sad because she was thinking that i thought that she was cheating on me but i know she wouldnt she isnt like that...that night we went to a movie together and she cudled with me in it..she was really quiet though i had to ask her if she loved me and she nodded her head..after the movie we sat in her car for like 45 mins talking about it again and then i started to honestly cry i felt really sad that i hurt her feelings and i told her i was really sorry and that i loved her soo much and she told me she loves me too..and she then started wiping my tears off my face and kissing me everywhere on my face...i really do love her so much i dont want to leave her...then the following morning which was today i sent her an email telling her how i am really sorry and then i felt really sad because she was hurt and to forget about it. she never replied to it. she sent me a message a while ago telling me shes sorry that she cant come out tonight and told me to have a good night then she put xo...but for some reason she seems like she still isnt over it she didnt even put i love you or anything like that or any smiles soo someone please help me i am feeling soo sad and dissopointed about everything i need some help with thiss pleasseeee

[Spring Haze]

You need help with what exactly? The fact that she has a guy friend, or your need to ask your girlfriend if she loves you? Maybe some emotion regulation would help.

[shadowhunter]

she does love me i asked her soo many times if she did anad she noded her head then when i was crying in front of her i told her i loved her so much and then she actually said it to me she loved me too...but i wanna let her know that i trust her im not she if she fully knows that cause she thought i didnt trust her when she was with that guy

[MavViper]

dude, you are sounding really desperate with your gf right now. i gurantee if you keep going like this then it will go south quick.

You've apologized, she accepted. You both said that you love eachother. What more do you want? You want her to know that you trust her? Words dont show trust, actions show trust. Show her you trust her by actually trusting her and not just by saying it. And seriously, dont apologize anymore and I wouldnt cry over it.

[shadowhunter]

well this is the first bad thing that has happend in our relationship so its only the first time nd i have decided to just talk about positive stuff with her and just try and forget about it....but how can i show her i trust her? like what can i do that will show her i trust her because i honestly do a lot

[amazonian]

i felt really weird about it but i wasnt jealous just felt weird inside sooo i talked to my girlfriend about it and then she started saying stuff that i dont trust her and if i really trusted her i would even have a problem with her going swimming with the dude but then i told later that day i didnt understand why she didnt ask me to go too...she told me she did but i didnt hear her..she felt sad because she was thinking that i thought that she was cheating on me but i know she wouldnt she isnt like that...

If my partner wanted to talk to me about something like this, I would be more than happy to have the conversation and want to reassure the person who loved me, not accuse them of mistrust straight away. Communication is the way to go. Not being invited does seems a bit hmmm, I mean - why can't you go too? But still, you should be able to discuss this together without finger pointing. There may have been a good reason (he needed to talk without others around, etc). Don't keep crying about it though - you'll drive her crazy. Just store it in the memory bank and see what else happens. Show her your trust by simply trusting her and letting it go. It doesn't mean you have to be a doormat though, accusing someone who is trying to communicate with you in order to simply understand is a form of avoidance and control.
Where you accusing her or just asking why?
Also, if she cares how you feel, she wouldn't have any problems with you getting to know this guy as well so that you could see their interaction and feel comfortable or not?

[jadelil25]

It sounds like you are being a bit too clingy and needy.

Just give her a bit of space, im sure that it will all be fine. There is nothing to worry about! Just go out and have fun with your friends and let her have her time. Message or call her once a day and if she does not respond dont worry she is probably just busy. Dont hassle her tho or message/call loads of times each day.

You can not stop a partner from having friends. If you do that will push them away and she has not done anything wrong.

Im sure that there is nothing to worry about.

[vashti]

There may or may not be something to worry about, but I can tell you for sure that crying about it in front of her will NOT help you. You need to get a hold of your emotions and insecurity, and learn to NOT react to every single thing you are feeling. Insecurity is not an attractive quality.

If your girlfriend has given you no objective reason to not trust her, and she doesn't make a habit out of excluding you, I think you are overreacting. On the other hand, if this is a pattern, you shouldn't ignore it.

[misombra]

i'm afraid of shadow hunters.

[annoyed23]

she accepted your apology, if you keep bringing it up its going to make her pull away from you. the more you bring it up, the more shes not going to forget about it. stop bringing it up, and just keep telling her that you love her...do your part...if its meant to be, she will do hers.