My best friend loves me.....

[d^_^b]

I have had a crush on my best friend for a while now. It's been getting stronger as time passes but we have a beautiful friendship that I don't ever want to jeopardize.

Also she has a guy she is "kind of dating" and I met him and he's a really cool guy. On top of that she has a 2yr old son with someone I used to be friends with a few years ago.

The thing is I contemplated telling her how I felt but didn't want it to ruin our friendship so I decided to keep it to myself. Well, today I found out without a doubt that she loves me and has loved me for a long long time. She doesn't know I know and I almost talked to her about it today but then I just chickened out and changed the subject.

I don't want our friendship to change or weaken and I think the guy she's dating is a good guy. I just don't know what to do about this because every day I think about her and now that I know she loves me it's killing me inside to not say anything.

What should I do?! HELP!

[carl1222]

Is she in a committed relationship with this guy? Have they agreed to be exclusive?

[d^_^b]

She says that she thinks he's fun and she likes him but doesn't see it going anywhere. He says he is in love with her.

[Mish]

How old are you and her?

[d^_^b]

I'm 25 and she's 23

[carl1222]

She says that she thinks he's fun and she likes him but doesn't see it going anywhere. He says he is in love with her.

But that's not what I asked ... is she in a committed relationship with him ... have they promised to be exclusive?

Carl.

[d^_^b]

Oh, I don't really know... I'm sure that he would like to think so but I don't know about her.

A side note as I forgot to mention earlier (though it is probably obvious): she isn't with her baby's father anymore and hasn't been for a while.

[carl1222]

Oh, I don't really know... I'm sure that he would like to think so but I don't know about her.

A side note as I forgot to mention earlier (though it is probably obvious): she isn't with her baby's father anymore and hasn't been for a while.

Commitment is not a feeling, it's a promise. Not a gray area question. Either she calls him her boyfriend or she doesn't, in her words, not her heart ... and that's important to any advice I would give.

Carl.

[d^_^b]

Commitment is not a feeling, it's a promise. Not a gray area question. Either she calls him her boyfriend or she doesn't, in her words, not her heart ... and that's important to any advice I would give.

Carl.

Well, as I said, she isn't taking the relationship as serious as him and told me that it wasn't going anywhere. But as for being committed, I know that he is and I know that she doesn't call him her boyfriend. At least not to me. She said they "hang out" and "date" but never said they were boyfriend and girlfriend. It seems that their relationship is crumbling and it makes me feel bad because he likes her so much.

[carl1222]

I'm not trying to hide the ball here .... my concern is whether she is the kind of girl who feels the need to line up a new relationship before letting go of the old one. If it's just casual dating that he thinks is more, then fine.

But if she's led him to believe that they are in an exclusive relationship and she is exploring a new one with you before getting out of it, that's a HUGE red flag. It makes her a cheater.

Carl.

[Cbrider]

But if she's led him to believe that they are in an exclusive relationship and she is exploring a new one with you before getting out of it, that's a HUGE red flag. It makes her a cheater.

Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner and the straight forward truth.

[d^_^b]

yeah, I see what you guys are saying. But I have known her for 10 years and we have been best friends for a long time. I don't think she would do anything unfaithful. Notice I used the words "I don't think she would". One thing that I am certain of after a number of broken relationships is that the people you trust the most can sometimes turn out to be completely different than how you see them. I will keep your comment on this in mind but I honestly doubt she's a cheater. Besides, it takes two to cheat and I know I'm not a cheater.

[Lipp]

If it was one-sided I'd say that the friendship would be more of an option since rejection is fairly likely (friend-zone'd!). But when both of you like one another I'd say go for it.