Boyfriend material vs husband material

[mrk2381]

Last night I was at a party with a bunch of people from work. We were all having a great time everyone was flirting cause the drinks were flowing and everyone was being totally honest and all "I love you man". I was talking to Christine, a friend at work, and she tells me that everyone (as in all the girls at work) think I am perfect husband/father material. Now the question I pose is this

How can a guy be husband/father material without ever having had a gf? Wouldn't that imply that he isn't good enough to date but is more then qualified to be a husband and to father children?

[vashti]

The way you word it makes it sound like it's a downgrade to be considered marriage material.

There are three types of people in the world (or so I am told):

1) the ones you would only f*ck
2) the ones you wouldn't EVER f*ck
3) the ones you keep

They labeled you a type 3. What's so bad about that?

If you want to date more, then start asking girls out. They won't just fall in your lap (unless you are charlieboy).

[mrk2381]

I'm not saying its a bad thing and I'm sorry if my wording made it seem that way. I have no problem being labled marriage material. My confusion lays in the fact that every girl I've asked out have told me no. So if I'm such a keeper then why won't anyone keep me?

[UKboy]

Last night I was at a party with a bunch of people from work. We were all having a great time everyone was flirting cause the drinks were flowing and everyone was being totally honest and all "I love you man". I was talking to Christine, a friend at work, and she tells me that everyone (as in all the girls at work) think I am perfect husband/father material. Now the question I pose is this

How can a guy be husband/father material without ever having had a gf? Wouldn't that imply that he isn't good enough to date but is more then qualified to be a husband and to father children?

Husband material are usually what people view as stable.They're guys who are honest and frank and not into the dating games or rules.The theme of "unavailability" doesn't exisit in their dictionary.
They don't reply hours or days later unless they're really busy as opposed to those who does that just to fake a busy schedule.
How old are you?You're probaly at those age where women are wiling to settle down and have lived past the phase of senseless games.
Well,it's a good thing.
I wish i could be dating someone 25yo

[vashti]

Oh I see. You are asking the wrong question. What you really want to know is how to get a girl to date you, right?

Have you asked any of the female friends to give you a clue as to why you aren't able to land a date?

[UKboy]

I'm not saying its a bad thing and I'm sorry if my wording made it seem that way. I have no problem being labled marriage material. My confusion lays in the fact that every girl I've asked out have told me no. So if I'm such a keeper then why won't anyone keep me?

Because girls are that..weird..
They like to keep marriage material till the end when they're done with the playing...until they're nearing 30yo where they know if they don't settle down then they're gonna depreciate in 'value'.
My only guess is that they're keeping you as a side project first until they're ready to settle down.Because if they're gonna get into a r/s with you,they know they can't hold it down if they're still into the "looking for more option" phase.
I suggest you look for older ladies.

[mrk2381]

Uk I'm 20 years old so I doubt I'm at that age cause I don't know too many happily married couples at age 20. But you're right I'm not into the whole dating game bs where you should wait X number of days so you don't seem desperate or you don't tell your partner what is wrong with you cause "they should be able to read your mind".

Vashti in a way yes that is sort of what I'm asking. And to be honest I have a rough idea why all the girls I've asked have told me no is because of the way I look. I'm not a slob I keep myself very clean but I'm not an Adonis far from it in fact.

[mrk2381]

Older ladies? Is that why I'm so popular witht the bingo crowd at the American Legion I go to? Seriously though its hard for me to see myself with someone older then me. I was raised with the values that the man should be older then the woman in a relationship. That's not to say I am against the idea I just have a hard time seeing it.

[vashti]

Do you consider yourself objectively unattractive (bad features), or just geeky-looking?

[UKboy]

Uk I'm 20 years old so I doubt I'm at that age cause I don't know too many happily married couples at age 20. But you're right I'm not into the whole dating game bs where you should wait X number of days so you don't seem desperate or you don't tell your partner what is wrong with you cause "they should be able to read your mind".

Vashti in a way yes that is sort of what I'm asking. And to be honest I have a rough idea why all the girls I've asked have told me no is because of the way I look. I'm not a slob I keep myself very clean but I'm not an Adonis far from it in fact.

Coincidentally,i happen to be 20 last week.
I guess we're pretty much alike.I don't like playing bs dating games and have never really used it but i know how to use it pretty well.
Eitherway,i suggest you brush up on your dating skills so at least you have a skill to fall back on unless you plan to wait till 30 where women want to settle then.
Doesn't hurt to learn some skills eh

[mrk2381]

I'm comfortable with how I look. Though I know by society's standards that I'm not good looking. I'm 5'9 1/2'' and weigh roughly 250 lbs most of which is located in the gut area. As for geekiness the only thing I think is geeky are my glasses but my family's health plan doesn't cover contacts.

Uk

First off Happy Belated Birthday. I don't want to wait til I'm 30 to find the one but I'm also a stubborn pig headed sob that refuses to give in to the status quo just because its the status quo. Though I'm sure you're right about learning some dating skills so I'm not single for the next 10 years.

[UKboy]

Do you consider yourself objectively unattractive (bad features), or just geeky-looking?

What's wrong with bad features?I've seen couple of not so looking guys with really hot girls whenever i walk down the street.
I assume he isn't hideous...

[lesa]

There are three types of people in the world (or so I am told):

1) the ones you would only f*ck
2) the ones you wouldn't EVER f*ck
3) the ones you keep

yep

Husband material are usually what people view as stable.They're guys who are honest and frank and not into the dating games or rules.The theme of "unavailability" doesn't exisit in their dictionary.
They don't reply hours or days later unless they're really busy as opposed to those who does that just to fake a busy schedule.

yep

Because girls are that..weird..
They like to keep marriage material till the end when they're done with the playing...until they're nearing 30yo where they know if they don't settle down then they're gonna depreciate in 'value'.
My only guess is that they're keeping you as a side project first until they're ready to settle down.Because if they're gonna get into a r/s with you,they know they can't hold it down if they're still into the "looking for more option" phase.

and yep

It's so interesting how courting and relationships work, huh?

Remember that not everyone that wants to date you will want to keep you forever. Which is fine as long as you understand that. Sometimes the relationship just falls out or compatibility diminishes as you two grow, change and have different needs and wants. Sometimes they are not ready for that next phase or long term.

I've learned that the people that are very good at dating are not necessarily good at relationships and long term and the ones good at long term or marriage may not be very good at dating. Hope that makes you feel better. Don't worry about those girls that declined your invite...they probably were only good for dating and short term at the moment or was not compatible. Be patient and optimistic. Don't become one of those pessimistic guys that think every girl he asks out should accept him.

[UKboy]

I'm comfortable with how I look. Though I know by society's standards that I'm not good looking. I'm 5'9 1/2'' and weigh roughly 250 lbs most of which is located in the gut area. As for geekiness the only thing I think is geeky are my glasses but my family's health plan doesn't cover contacts.

Are you eager for a gf?
I never had a gf before but i'm quite a looker so i get the attention from the opposite gender and as well as from the gays.In a sense,i needn't crave for a gf.
I wear specs too because i don't like the hassle of putting on the contacts every morning and as for you,try a good looking spec and do a little wabrobe revamp
Good looks only give you an advantage and as they say,getting a head start doesn't guarantee you a winner place.
Brush up on personality too.

[mrk2381]

The not so good looking guys and the hot chick combo really confuses me and at times pisses me off when I realize I look better then that guy and yet hes the one with a 10 by his side.

I've done the wardrobe revamp already I use to wear smart ass t-shirts and jeans now I've gone to collared shirts and jeans. (Jeans are just too damn comfortable and durable to give up). I am eager for a gf only so I know what it's like. Most of my friends have or recently had someone special and I just start to wonder what it would be like to have that other half and I know relationships aren't all fun and games but thats the thing I want to know what it all feels like the good and the bad.