Let's start at the beginning. Her and I were acquaintances at first, we moved onto a great friendship and after about a year or so we started dating. Things were great, we had a great, if not perfect, relationship. Just like any other couple, we had our bumps in the road but we worked them out. These bumps though were the same problems both times. I just wasn't into the relationship anymore and I had no idea why. Unfortunately, this has risen once more and I'm not sure what to do. I love her so much but I just don't want to be in a relationship....then again I don't want to leave her. The fear of hurting her and her hurting herself are the two things that stay there in the back of my head and always make me not want to say or do anything about it. Our sex life isn't what it used to be....well at least to me. I'm just not really into it anymore.
I perform when I have to and its pretty much just that, a performance although she is satisfied. I'm 23 years old and she's 19. I enjoy things in the moment as opposed to her where she has a very future oriented thinking process. I'm too young to be discussing things like marriage, talking about what house we'd like to live in and what we'll be doing when we're middle aged. To be quite honest I miss the single life oh so much. I was in misery being alone, as is anyone single whether they'd like to admit it or not. The thing that I miss though is the spontaneity of my life and the people that I'd meet along the way. I used to spend my nights hanging out with many different people, going places, now.....I get up...go to work...leave work and call her and spend my nights talking to her online.
Only being able to see her only on the weekends, every other if that, as she goes to school nearly 3 hours away. I've gotta continue this process for the next two and a half years and I just don't know if I can handle it. It's a common thing to say....”I don't want to hurt her” and I honestly and truly mean it but I don't think I can stay in this much longer. I've come to this message board to help me figure out what I can do. Should I stay or should I go? Any questions you have, feel free to ask...I'm an open book.