A Question for the Fellas

[vashti]

??

Why are you messing up this kid's thread?

Hey, greek - try to come up with some sort of activity you can do once a week or so in which you interact with girls. I suggested dance classes because guys that can dance will never have a hard time finding a girl to interact with, but you can really do anything you are interested in. Give it some thought, hun.

[UKboy]

To all the guys on this board, I have a question. But allow me to start off with a little bit of background information. I'm 17 and I'm a virgin. And so far in my history with relationships, I've been trying to wait for the right girl to come along to have sex with. But, it seems that the longer I wait, the more experience everybody around me is getting. I'm debating whether or not to just hook up with some girl who I'm not in a relationship with and just have sex. That way, I can lose some of the anxiety that I have around women and will help me to build my confidence around them. So let me ask, what do y'all think? And for the guys who aren't virgins, how did you lose it? Was it with a girl you really cared about? Or was it just sex? Do you regret it one way or another? Thanks y'all.

No seriously.As much as people might want to hide it or cover it with underlying motives,the very fact that you want to lose your viginity because others seem to be getting more experience and thus ahead of you is a lame excuse.Sorry to say and inactualy fact,classical insecurities at it's best.
I'm 20 on v'day and i have not lose my viginity,not because i can't but because i tend to value my style and principles way higher.It differs.Some might want to hang on to their virginity for other couple reasons.
But losing because others are getting ahead is just lame ass to me.
A confident person who knows what he has and what others down can never be put down.He doesn't mind a dam about senseless 'compeitition' such as getting ahead in the **** game.He doesn't give a dam how many pussy others are getting,really.He knows that the very fact people wants to compete with him is arrogance and stupidity itself.
He's on the pedestal.What others think,don't matter.

[TheGreek]

??

Why are you messing up this kid's thread?

Hey, greek - try to come up with some sort of activity you can do once a week or so in which you interact with girls. I suggested dance classes because guys that can dance will never have a hard time finding a girl to interact with, but you can really do anything you are interested in. Give it some thought, hun.

To be honest, I actually like the idea of the dance classes. I'll see what HCC has to offer. Could be something right up my alley.

No seriously.As much as people might want to hide it or cover it with underlying motives,the very fact that you want to lose your viginity because others seem to be getting more experience and thus ahead of you is a lame excuse.Sorry to say and inactualy fact,classical insecurities at it's best.
I'm 20 on v'day and i have not lose my viginity,not because i can't but because i tend to value my style and principles way higher.It differs.Some might want to hang on to their virginity for other couple reasons.
But losing because others are getting ahead is just lame ass to me.
A confident person who knows what he has and what others down can never be put down.He doesn't mind a dam about senseless 'compeitition' such as getting ahead in the **** game.He doesn't give a dam how many pussy others are getting,really.He knows that the very fact people wants to compete with him is arrogance and stupidity itself.
He's on the pedestal.What others think,don't matter.

Just because other people are having sex isn't the reason I want to. I want the experience to be honest. I want to have that connection with a girl. I mean don't get me wrong, there's been more than one occasion where a girl has wanted to have sex with me and I've declined just because I didn't want to lose it to her. But I just got to thinking that maybe I was putting sex on a pedastal. Maybe it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be and maybe it didn't need to be "special." Maybe my first time didn't need to be with a girl I cared about. Maybe I should just get laid. That was my thought process.

[ransom_nite]

I lost my V's when I was 17 to my current girlfriend. Alot of the hype during high school is to lose your V's as quickly as possible but there is no harm in waiting for someone special mate, it doesn't make any less of you for waiting. Myself personally couldn't have sex with anyone I didn't care about, meaningless sex does nothing for me.

[UKboy]

To be honest, I actually like the idea of the dance classes. I'll see what HCC has to offer. Could be something right up my alley.



Just because other people are having sex isn't the reason I want to. I want the experience to be honest. I want to have that connection with a girl. I mean don't get me wrong, there's been more than one occasion where a girl has wanted to have sex with me and I've declined just because I didn't want to lose it to her. But I just got to thinking that maybe I was putting sex on a pedastal. Maybe it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be and maybe it didn't need to be "special." Maybe my first time didn't need to be with a girl I cared about. Maybe I should just get laid. That was my thought process.

Sex is a mere by product of love at the right place at the right time.If it wasn't,then it makes no difference from bedding a hoooker.
So you mean that you're thinking of having sex for the sake of going through the motion?
Sounds like a first class excuses for loser either way.Quit it,save yourself for the one whom you want to.There's always the hand.

[Lipp]

Being a virgin when you're 17 is not an issue (unless your urge is uncontrollable), it's not as if you're late or anything, I reckon 15 and 16 is way too early, 17-18 is where its more of an option, its debatable whether its a suitable age though.

I lost mine at 20 (bit more than a month ago), did it with a wonderful girl who I expect to have a long-lasting relationship with and have no regrets whatsoever over choosing not to jump at the first willing and decent-looking skank around and lose it just for the sake of doing it.

Fortunately the swedish sex ed and research (including amateur porn, actually) made me completely confident about doing it for the first time, so no performance issues either, it was natural.

[TheGreek]

Thanks for the advice guys. Basically the purpose of my question was to determine whether or not it is worth it to wait for the right girl or is sex merely sex; 'cause sex seems to be thrown around quite a bit nowadays.

[UKboy]

Thanks for the advice guys. Basically the purpose of my question was to determine whether or not it is worth it to wait for the right girl or is sex merely sex; 'cause sex seems to be thrown around quite a bit nowadays.

It's always like this isn't it.The defination of sex hasn't been thrown about.It's you,people who have been thrown about that they lose sight of what sex is or perhaps,to begin with,they do not understand the true meaning of sex.It's pathetic for anyone to think that sex is simply a physical motion.

[TheGreek]

I don't appreciate the condescending attitude ukboy. I merely asked a question looking for advice, not you to tell me that I've been "thrown about."

[Indignant]

To all the guys on this board, I have a question. But allow me to start off with a little bit of background information. I'm 17 and I'm a virgin. And so far in my history with relationships, I've been trying to wait for the right girl to come along to have sex with. But, it seems that the longer I wait, the more experience everybody around me is getting. I'm debating whether or not to just hook up with some girl who I'm not in a relationship with and just have sex. That way, I can lose some of the anxiety that I have around women and will help me to build my confidence around them. So let me ask, what do y'all think? And for the guys who aren't virgins, how did you lose it? Was it with a girl you really cared about? Or was it just sex? Do you regret it one way or another? Thanks y'all.

17.....just the way i like 'em

[TheTooya]

Meh, I lost my v-card when I was 20 with someone I thought very special. Regardless of what you do, its not too significant in the end. Yes, I am playing devils advocate because really, why the hell not.

You see, having sex with someone not entirely special isn't all that, well.. special. My view is 'sex is just sex', but that may just be me. Despite this, Sex is (I feel) much better when its involved with a relationship, but either way doing it before you get involved in a heavily committed relationship isn't good or bad. Some can argue your exploring your options, clearing away the what-ifs

Regardless, doing it for the sake of doing it (i.e peer pressure) is indeed retarded imo. If you want to do it, then I'd say simply go out there and have fun (obviously be safe)

lose sight of what sex is or perhaps,to begin with,they do not understand the true meaning of sex

I am glad to see there are enlightened ones out there... <_<

[vashti]

Sex is both more important than many people want to admit, and also less important. While I don't really like the idea of "sex is sex" because it lowers us to the instinctual level of animals, sex is also (IMO) not some mystical act that needs to be elevated to absurd heights. I think in the end, YOU will have to decide how important it is, based on your own values.

[TheGreek]

Thanks again for the input. Just to clarify, I'm not interested in sex for the sake of peer pressure. I agree with you that that is retarded. I'm asking the question because I want to have sex and I'm trying to determine whether or not it's worth to wait for someone special instead of indulging now.

[someguy1984]

To all the guys on this board, I have a question. But allow me to start off with a little bit of background information. I'm 17 and I'm a virgin. And so far in my history with relationships, I've been trying to wait for the right girl to come along to have sex with. But, it seems that the longer I wait, the more experience everybody around me is getting. I'm debating whether or not to just hook up with some girl who I'm not in a relationship with and just have sex. That way, I can lose some of the anxiety that I have around women and will help me to build my confidence around them. So let me ask, what do y'all think? And for the guys who aren't virgins, how did you lose it? Was it with a girl you really cared about? Or was it just sex? Do you regret it one way or another? Thanks y'all.

I didn't read any other posts, so hopefully this was not answered...Let me give you some insight...

Why is it that you are so focused on having sex? Honestly, it seems like the younger age feels they need to for some reason. Yes, i understand peer pressure at school is rough and when you hear these stories it's tempting...Essentially you think your missing out, or need to be getting laid!!!

Look bro, this is not the case...Don't listen to these people and don't think you need to lay some random whore to get good at sex...That is just stupid...Yes, it would help you be better, but what does it matter? Let me explain...

Sex is not about getting your load off and moving on. Yes, I've had my fair share of being stupid, meeting girls at clubs, one night stands, etc...It was a great experience, but does nothing for me...I kind of fell into these things...Sex should be done with someone you truly have feelings for. In this case, it doesn't matter how good you are, or how much practice you have. If both people love each other, the two of you will make it incredible together. Sure, the first few times will be slow, but it's common sense and you will get the hang of it. Learn with your partner, not some whore spreading her legs for the baseball team...

Sex can always be worked on and should be the last thing to worry about. The important value is being able to care about the person and be comfortable. Only then, will everything fall into place.

Also, most likely the first girl you hook up with, you will keep feelings for...It just happens like this. (Generally) People remember their first. So, make it a good girl and don't be in a hurry.

If you can honestly find love while your young, go for it. The girls who are "used" tend to have baggage and sometimes problems. (Not everyone) You don't want to deal with stories about her ex-boyfriend and how she used to do this, or that...It sucks. If you meet a girl who is a virgin and both of you lose it together, this would be optimal. I can say the relationship would last a while...But, make sure you don't jump into it. Have feelings for the girl, make it meaningful. Soft kiss, hold her hand, make her loved. Don't fake it either.

Don't make the typical young mistake and sleep around. In the end, it looks bad on you and you become a male whore. Who wants a girl, or guy who has been with 10-20 people? Honestly, that's gross...Choose wisely, sex is a bonus, but not an obligation. Love, is forever.

Best of luck.

[Grayer]

To all the guys on this board, I have a question. But allow me to start off with a little bit of background information. I'm 17 and I'm a virgin. And so far in my history with relationships, I've been trying to wait for the right girl to come along to have sex with. But, it seems that the longer I wait, the more experience everybody around me is getting. I'm debating whether or not to just hook up with some girl who I'm not in a relationship with and just have sex. That way, I can lose some of the anxiety that I have around women and will help me to build my confidence around them. So let me ask, what do y'all think? And for the guys who aren't virgins, how did you lose it? Was it with a girl you really cared about? Or was it just sex? Do you regret it one way or another? Thanks y'all.

]

Lost mine with a random when I was 19, I didn't care about her (nasty, sorry) and I just wanted to do it. People attach far too big a deal to sex. It's almost like this holy grail their trying to find and the result itself is almost always overshadowed by the fun of the hunt.

To answer your question, it really depends on what type of person you are. It's so so so so so very very very rare that the first girl you sleep with you end up marrying and be happy with the rest of your life. So if there will be many, you might as well get going