Dying inside

[blackdiesel2k]

I thought my wife loved me. The truth is have forgave her for cheating on me at least twice I know of and once I suspected. Then the other night she had a girls night out. Mind you it has been two years since I know she last cheated. But one of the times was with a girl. And she happened to go out with two lebians and a straight girl. She claimed they were kissing but she wasn't involved. However I got paranoid and checked her computer like a prick and I found some things that really hurt me. I should have never looked. The day she went out there were links to lesbian porn this is nothing new just the timing of it. Also on her myspace page there is a comment from her friend saying I enjoyed my kisses hehe. Then to add insult to injury she made two post on her forum. One where she posted about open relationships an how she would be too jealous but if she ever leaves this one she would consider it with the "right guy." and another that says she has never really felt a connection to me, she married me because her parents pushed after our son was born and now she feels trapped. She says she loves me at times but if she leaves she will be sure to find the right person next time. Everything involves finding the right person. Needless to say I am heart broken. I know I have omitted a lot of details but a lot has happened over the years.

Should I even bother staying. I am suppose to be signing a new lease any day and I kind of feel I am just her financial support.

If I seperated trusting her fidelity would drive me insane. So I really only have the option of keeping my mouth shut about everything or leaving. I love my son to death, and I would do anything for my wife except share her with another.

If she has never felt she really loved me should I just go? It pains me to say it but I have changed so much about myself to keep her happy and yet she still tells everyone she isn't happy. She bluntly lies to me and says she is to my face.

Can someone please give me some advice.

[alason]

First of all, lost of straight women get turned on by lesbian porn, that does not mean she's a lesbian. Neither does her kissing her friends. I'm more concerned about her infidelity and seeming disregard for your feelings or the strength of your relationship.

You should confront her, tell her you feel this way, and suggest counseling as a solution (if she is still interested in continuing the relationship... which, it doesn't exactly sound like she is). You need to explain to her that you're trying to keep your family together and happy, and that she is not contributing as an equal member.

Most of all, though, don't stay together just because of your son. Stay together because the two of you want to work it out, and still possibly love each other enough to do so. Your son will be unhappy in a home with so much tension and distrust and that shouldn't be the solution.

good luck!
Katie (of Adam/Evelyn/Katie)

[Sonrisa]

give her an ultimatum to either have you join when she has sex with another woman, or not to have it at all. a family that lays together, stays together.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe you ARE the right guy for her to have an "open relationship" with.

Regardless of your feelings on the matter, she is clearly already having one. You might as well get with the program. Live with her and your son, let go of your emotional attachment to her fidelity (which exists only in your imagination anyway) and tell her she's welcome to fool around with other women, men, whatever because you're going to find someone else too.

[paul_mot]

I am really sorry for you man,
It gets complicated when you have kids, you should have chosen carefully from the beginning, plus, you shouldn't have let it loose and 'forgive her' for cheating.

the best solution is to leave her, but you have to think about your kid too, but in principle leave her, don't waste anymore time.

[Mish]

How old is your son?

[bhuff85]

I think it's time to sit down and have a long chat with your wife. It appears that something like this is WAY overdue.

Find out what the whole deal is. Ask her why she is doing the things she is doing. Also, ask her truthfully if she really does love you. If she does and is willing to work on it, I would recommend bringing a marriage counselor into the picture, as they can give a better "outside and unbiased" view on the situation as a whole.

Most importantly, think about your child. With your wife being around various women (and possibly men), that can mess with your child psychologically (if they are old enough to realize that something is up, anyway).

Hope that helps, and good luck!

[kate_spencer]

I thought my wife loved me. The truth is have forgave her for cheating on me at least twice I know of and once I suspected. Then the other night she had a girls night out. Mind you it has been two years since I know she last cheated. But one of the times was with a girl. And she happened to go out with two lebians and a straight girl. She claimed they were kissing but she wasn't involved. However I got paranoid and checked her computer like a prick and I found some things that really hurt me. I should have never looked. The day she went out there were links to lesbian porn this is nothing new just the timing of it. Also on her myspace page there is a comment from her friend saying I enjoyed my kisses hehe. Then to add insult to injury she made two post on her forum. One where she posted about open relationships an how she would be too jealous but if she ever leaves this one she would consider it with the "right guy." and another that says she has never really felt a connection to me, she married me because her parents pushed after our son was born and now she feels trapped. She says she loves me at times but if she leaves she will be sure to find the right person next time. Everything involves finding the right person. Needless to say I am heart broken. I know I have omitted a lot of details but a lot has happened over the years.

Should I even bother staying. I am suppose to be signing a new lease any day and I kind of feel I am just her financial support.

If I seperated trusting her fidelity would drive me insane. So I really only have the option of keeping my mouth shut about everything or leaving. I love my son to death, and I would do anything for my wife except share her with another.

If she has never felt she really loved me should I just go? It pains me to say it but I have changed so much about myself to keep her happy and yet she still tells everyone she isn't happy. She bluntly lies to me and says she is to my face.

Can someone please give me some advice.

Well, there's only one thing you can do.. talk to her.. and let her know that you some kinda opened her computer and realized how much she fond socializing with lesbians (sorry for the words..), and you did that because you're worried about your relationship.

It looks like you need to consult professional counseling, before it gets worse.And in her attitude towards you and your relationship.. she needs to grow up more cause you have a kid now and she's no longer single for that kind of night out. I think she have to realize that first.