What could be happening

[theguy]

Don't read my past posts im using my friends account to post this so none of those have to deal with me.

So my girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship the last few weeks and it has another 9 months left till its over. Things seemed to be going fine, but lately i feel some sort of void. I don't know, just something in my gut, and the communication from her has decreased. were both 23 years old. I don't get it a few days ago she called me and had a long conversation about how much i meant to her etc and how it wont ever change and to stay positive. Then all at once the communication diminished its me calling, etc the last 3 days. I dont know what to do, or what to think or how to keep a long distance relationship healthy. ahh someone just help me out here im driving myself crazy.

[Junket]

How long have you been dating?

[Lite]

She's sleeping with someone else.

[Junket]

It's possible that phone call was her way of trying to pull the equivalent of the US troop surge in Iraq. Try to flood you and the relationship with optimism and positivity in spite of depressing odds, and withering sentiment.

I did that a few times when my relationship was still long distance. I got to a point where I almost ended, but chickened out last minute.

One thing you should try before inquiring about anything.

Stop calling her.

Stop messaging her.

Don't e-mail her.

Just see what happens.

[theguy]

Admittedly the relationship is only 8 months old, you believe doing the last few things you suggested will.....?

[Junket]

Well, we can only guess, like you, in fact this is one of the few instances where despite your emotional involvement in this relationship, we're more in the dark about the dynamics of your relationship.

Why don't you just try limiting your contact and see if she comes around?

[theguy]

Okay, just curious? How did your long distance relationship pan out?

[Junket]

I'm sitting 3 feet away from the beautiful girl in New Orleans.

But it was not without it's hardships.

We're 2 years in, and trust me, things were HARD.

I had shit I had to deal with at home, she was working in New Orleans.

Then I moved to Oklahoma, and she back to North Texas (3 hour drive every weekend).

Our relationship was very strained, but I had known her a year before we even started officially dating, and living in very close quarters of each other. It was a unique situation.

But like I said, back when I was in Philly, and she was in NOLA, I distinctly remember calling her one night and just feeling like breaking it off. It was a horrible feeling, because I was just so sick of the same conversations, and the lack of real intimacy. It really jacks shit up.

[IndiReloaded]

I distinctly remember calling her one night and just feeling like breaking it off. It was a horrible feeling, because I was just so sick of the same conversations, and the lack of real intimacy.

Ha. Fras, my dear, it is NO different being married, I promise you.

Just the angry sex release is closer at hand. Which does help.

Marriage is the reason bars were invented. Make sure you have at least one good one in town where you live & you will be fine.

[theguy]

Yeah, i know exactly what your talking about, unfortunatley there are no weekend trips for me, the girl is staying in Germany doing some sort of study abroad for close to a year. I feel like breaking it off, I have and always will hate drama and if I'm living with it for no reason, than hell. I do like her though, and if it can work out than its worth the drama, but its hell. I judge how people feel by how they act in person judging through text and over the phone just doesnt do it for me, and im pretty lost

[IndiReloaded]

As I told a friend recently, if your GF is decent, hard working, loyal and genuine then you'd be a fool to drop that b/c you are looking for some intangible 'something' that you aren't really sure of. If you have found such, even in an LDR, its probably worth it to try and work things through. Sane women are harder to come by than you think.

Drama-type partners are REALLY overrated in a long term relationship. Really. The time for high-maintenance, 'passionate', 'emotional' girls are when you are dating and sowing your oats. But when it comes time to settle and have a family, you need to look for sanity and stability. Perhaps even 'boring' wouldn't be too far a stretch, depending on your definition.

This post isn't just for you theguy. Its for Fras too.

Good luck guys.

[Junket]

9 months?

If you feel like this now, it's not going to get any better.

If we hadn't taken steps to move closer to each other, (and eventually in with each other), we both have said it would've ended a long time ago.

As great as a girl can be, sometimes we're just victims to the circumstances. You just need to decide what you want to do, and do it.

[richeanne]

look you have 9 mos left and its just a few weeks since, and this is happenin. Well u have to really be optimistic.