help!! problems with my ex gf

[Nathan]

Hi all,

To make a long story short my gf left me twice to go back to her ex. She has lived with him for about a year now. She always told me she knew it would not work with him but she wanted to try. She still said she loved me since she broke up with me a year ago and said I have done more for her then he ever does. She says I listen to her and she tells me more about things then she does to him. Note: my ex gf is my coworker.

To make a long story short the last three months I have been keeping away from her. I was about gotten over her. But two weeks ago my ex gf came up to me at work pretty much asking if I would give her sex. I said that was cheating. She said who cares anymore he never gives me anything anymore. So one night I was home and she called me for the first time in forever. She said she was going to the bar to have a drink so i met her there and we talk. I told her to be honest with me. She said she is questioning if she still loves him. She said all they do is fight anymore, she pays for everything, he doesnt do anything for her, she gets no sex, he wont talk to her, and I guess he has been touching her inapropreately. She said she is tired of him pretty much and dont want to be with him anymore. But she said he wont leave so she is not sure what to do. She pretyt much said she wanted me back but she said she new I wouldnt take her back for all the crap she did to me. So anyway the last few weeks we have been kissing and we had sex twice and she says she wants to be with me again ashe is just affriad of breaking up with him and that he wont leave the appartment.

Well two days ago we met at work and she said she did something bad. She said her and her bf went to see his cousin and I guess they all got drunk. Her bf passed out and I guess she made out with his cousin! Well I flipped on her alittle. Later i went up to her and said dont ever talk to me again. I said you are no good. She said I am no good to myself, I hate myself, and I dont want to live. Thats what she told me. LAter in the day she passed me with a mean/sad look on her face. I stopped her and said I was sorry but that she hurts me a lot and she stresses me out. I tell her she means alot to me and you cant do things like that. Even though she is cheating with me. Again she says she is no good. Anyway we talked and she still loves me very much and said she would never cheat on me that nothing would ever get old with me.

Last night was weird. We talked on aim for awhile. I guess her bf found out about her making out with his cousin. He found it amusing!!! And she was pretty bummed about that. I guess she was hoping he would leave her for that. After that she kept saying she is no good and wonders why I would want her back. She said she hates her self. She thinks she is addicted to sex, she is no good she says. then say I dont trust myself. She says she thinks she will cheat on me if we ever get back together. I tell her you just doing it casue your unhappy right now with your current bf. But she was just really down on herself and said she is not sure now she wants to be with anyone. She doesnt want to cause anyone anymore pain anymore. She said she is worthless, etc. This really scared me last night. Lisa never cheated but twice.....but now she is acting like she is going to keep on doing it no matter who she is with. She wants to be with me very badly. She knows i was the best bf she had i was always there for her. She tells me she would be very happy with me . So I dont know what to say. When we dated for 5 months she never cheated on me and never wanted to. The only reason i am cheating with her now is casue i know she wants me back but the thing with his cousin scared me. Before she said she would never cheat on me. Now she hates herself and figures she has a problem.



Anyone here help me please! Advice! or anyone know whats the problem with her is?



Help help help. lol



Thanks,

Nathan

[annoyed23]

run like hell...her problem is her self esteem and her own issues. you need to make it known that you are done with her. why set yourself up for more pain later?

[Nathan]

shes never been like this before. but lately she is like she hates herself for all the crap she did to me and everyone else. that everything is her fault. I think she is feeling sorry for herself but idk she is scaring me. she doesnt cheat....well ok with me. But before she never cheated and said she never wanted to. now she says she would have a hard time saying no if a guy came on to her!

[annoyed23]

she sounds like shes depressed...has anything major happened in her life?

[Nathan]

Well her current bf she is living with she tells me all they do is fight anymore, he has no job for 5 months now so she pays everything. He wont give her sex he says its boring. She tries to talk to him when she is having a bad day but she says he just ignores her, and she says everytime he walks past her he touches her. She is getting to the point where she thinks all he wants is the appartment. He has no car so she doesnt go anyplace, all he wants to do is drink and sleep, and she told me he has been talking to a few of his ex gfs. I told her you love him but you are fianlly getting to the reality that you will never haver a life with him. And she agreed. She said she is questioning her feelings for him and htat she is getting tired of his crap. She always told me we would be together again someday its only a amtter of time. She says i am the only one that will listen to her. She knows nothing will ever get boring with me and that i would make her life fun.

But then last night i think she was upset that he did not get mad for her making out with his cousin. She says she was surprised by his actions. So she started to got down on herself saying she is no good and she cheated on her bf and that she dont deserve me she deserves a jerk. That she thinks she wants to be alone forever. That she is affraid she will hurt me if we got back together.

[annoyed23]

she doesnt deserve you. If I were you, I would leave her alone, and move on.

[Nathan]

Well her current bf she is living with she tells me all they do is fight anymore, he has no job for 5 months now so she pays everything. He wont give her sex he says its boring. She tries to talk to him when she is having a bad day but she says he just ignores her, and she says everytime he walks past her he touches her. She is getting to the point where she thinks all he wants is the appartment. He has no car so she doesnt go anyplace, all he wants to do is drink and sleep, and she told me he has been talking to a few of his ex gfs. I told her you love him but you are fianlly getting to the reality that you will never haver a life with him. And she agreed. She said she is questioning her feelings for him and htat she is getting tired of his crap. She always told me we would be together again someday its only a amtter of time. She says i am the only one that will listen to her. She knows nothing will ever get boring with me and that i would make her life fun.

But then last night i think she was upset that he did not get mad for her making out with his cousin. She says she was surprised by his actions. So she started to got down on herself saying she is no good and she cheated on her bf and that she dont deserve me she deserves a jerk. That she thinks she wants to be alone forever. That she is affraid she will hurt me if we got back together.

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[annoyed23]

she will hurt you. she doesnt know what she wants.

[Nathan]

she said she wants to be with me but he wont leave.

[annoyed23]

if its her apartment, she can get the authorities involved. he wont leave cuz shes made it easy for him to be a bum. ask yourself...do you really want to be with a woman like this? would she be a good wife? a good mother?

[Nathan]

idk man. idk.

We were a good couple together. Everything worked great. Then he came back into the picture. She said she wanted to try being with him again. But its not working now she said. She was always good to me.

I have been with three girls after her and i havent yet been able to feel the way i did with her with anyone else.

[Lite]

We were a good couple together. Everything worked great. Then he came back into the picture. She said she wanted to try being with him again

So, you're saying that you're ok with being her backup bitch?

[Nathan]

yeah i know. all she ever tells me is that she likes both of us for different reasons. But she knows I would be better for her. she really does love me.. the day i left she was running away crying. But her loss not mine.

So I am trying to play low...even though we hung out twice. Im probably setting myself up for failure. she has to act i cant do it for her. she has to better herself i told her. thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it. i was just stressed out. it bothers me quite a bit.

im trying to calm myself down from last night thinking she was just bummed out.

[annoyed23]

I agree with Lite...you are her back up plan...you need to be #1 to a woman...find someone that will make you her #1. My man doesnt want to be #1...he wants to be second to my daughter...but they are both #1 to me...I had a kid with him because he is my #1...why would that change? you need the same. you need to be valued for who you are!

[bluesummer]

Why are you falling for her lines and puppy-dog-eyed bullshit? Can't you see this for what it is?

She breaks up with you to go back her ex, but all the while strings you along telling you she loves you (so you'll wait for her). When she wants to cheat on him, she comes to you and you oblige. She makes out with her bfs cousin.

After ALL this, you still want to be with her.

Dude, you must have the lowest self esteem on the planet.

It's not your job to help make this bitch happy and rescue her from the mistakes she's made in life. Why don't you find some nice girl who's loyal like you and won't make you question her love and loyalty? I'm sorry to be harsh, but if you take this girl back you are out of your ****ing mind. That is all.