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Thread: Stuck between two...

  1. #1
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    Stuck between two...

    Hi, there is a girl I have liked a lot for over 2 years now. I kinda want to get with her, but being such a close friend now Im not sure.

    Well, I liked her for the majority of the time I;ve known her, but recently I have been become good friends with her best girl friend, and its a lot flirtier and 'touchy'.

    I dont know which boat I should get in here, I think if I try with the girl I have known for a long time it could be very difficult and ultimately little chance, although with her friend I believe because we havent known each other so well for so long I think it would be a better position.

    I just can't make a decision on what to do, because no matter what I dont want to lose my friendship with the girl I have known longest, and I dont want to use the other girl as a distraction so i can get closer to the girl I have known longest, I have respect for them both.

    Where do you think I should stand?

    Just to make it clear: I respect both of these people very highly, I'm not making a 'this or that' choice as if they're apple or orange, Im just a bit unsure on how I would like to approach this situation. I dont want to be left longing for the other person though, I dont know if its love or lust.
    Last edited by Jimmyuk; 29-01-09 at 04:22 AM. Reason: extra details

  2. #2
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    Well, if you pursue either one of them more seriously, it will very likely mean you never get a shot at the other one, so maybe you should back off and find someone else. It's a very bad idea to go for someone when you like her BFF, and that's where you'll be if you get into it with either one of these girls.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Well, if you pursue either one of them more seriously, it will very likely mean you never get a shot at the other one, so maybe you should back off and find someone else. It's a very bad idea to go for someone when you like her BFF, and that's where you'll be if you get into it with either one of these girls.
    I understand your point.

    I dont know where I want to go with either of these girls. It isnt like the first girl (who i shall name kelly for easier understanding) introduced me to the second girl (i shall name amy for this). Kelly and Amy are both friends of mine, but Kelly I have been close friends with much longer. I think trying to get anywhere with kelly is unreal, I love her in a friendy way and possibly more, not too sure though. Amy, we seem to have more of a connection. I mean, we seem to have more fun together, it isnt as 'im your best friend and im here to support you', more of a 'lets go have fun'.

    I dont think I would drive away Kelly, because it seems clear that we arent getting together any time SOON, possibly in the future but not right now, and I mostly dont want it to turn it into jealousy for any reason, which i dont think it would result in.

  4. #4
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    Well, some girls don't feel this way, but I have always felt that any ex of one of my girlfriends was off limits forever, so you should at least consider that Kelly might feel that way too.
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  5. #5
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    Why don't you just date both of them casually until you make up your mind? That way when you've decided, they've both moved on and you get neither.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lite View Post
    Why don't you just date both of them casually until you make up your mind? That way when you've decided, they've both moved on and you get neither.
    Hey man, I came on here to get advice, not sarcastic comments, unless youre trying to hint at a good point, which I agree with but I wouldnt have minded an indication to that.

    I arent trying to find faults or examine them for reasons. Im looking for experience with people who have been in similar situations.

    With a close friend who you like a lot, theres also another girl who you get on better with as a pair but without the same closeness of the first person.

    I dont want a this or that like i said. Im stuck in a situation where I like both of them, and I dont want to end up with breaking both them from me.


    ALSO:
    but I have always felt that any ex of one of my girlfriends was off limits forever, so you should at least consider that Kelly might feel that way too.

    I havent been dating Kelly, we are friends, therefore she has no control over who i can and cant see.
    Last edited by Jimmyuk; 29-01-09 at 05:19 AM. Reason: extra detail

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmyuk View Post
    Hey man, I came on here to get advice, not sarcastic comments, unless youre trying to hint at a good point, which I agree with but I wouldnt have minded an indication to that.

    I arent trying to find faults or examine them for reasons. Im looking for experience with people who have been in similar situations.

    With a close friend who you like a lot, theres also another girl who you get on better with as a pair but without the same closeness of the first person.

    I dont want a this or that like i said. Im stuck in a situation where I like both of them, and I dont want to end up with breaking both them from me.


    ALSO:
    but I have always felt that any ex of one of my girlfriends was off limits forever, so you should at least consider that Kelly might feel that way too.

    I havent been dating Kelly, we are friends, therefore she has no control over who i can and cant see.
    You're going to get a bit of both. Sarcasm and advice. The hard truth is that you're going to have to let one of them go and possible hurt them in the process. It's just how life goes.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmyuk View Post
    I dont know which boat I should get in here, I think if I try with the girl I have known for a long time it could be very difficult and ultimately little chance
    Well, that pretty much removes her as a possibility then?
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lite View Post
    You're going to get a bit of both. Sarcasm and advice. The hard truth is that you're going to have to let one of them go and possible hurt them in the process. It's just how life goes.
    I suppose so. I think I can do it without causing them any problems, I just don't want one girl thinking ive lost 100% interest in her, because i still love her as a friend.

  10. #10
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    FYI, friends aren't "interested" in each other romantically. Get that straight right now.
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