Difficulty reading a girl

[screwball789]

I'm in college, and there is a girl I'm interested in. I didn't know her too well, but we had met at a couple of parties. We didn't talk for a while, but suddenly she started talking to me more and we went to a few parties together. She seems to be a really confident girl and is pretty reserved, so it's difficult to tell by her voice and actions if she's interested, she's not a super flirty girl. We text message and chat a lot, and talk on the phone a couple times a week for more than an hour usually. We've only really hung out one on one one time, and we just sat on the couch watched movies at her house and had dinner. We didn't kiss or anything like that, I didn't want to come on too strong. She did seem to play with her lip a little and mess with her shirt a few times, and she quickly offered to pay for dinner. I've asked her out to the movies, dinner, and lunch a few times, and she's even asked me out sometimes, but almost every time she would find some excuse to not go, usually at the last second. We went to a movie once with friends and sitting side by side, she kept her legs crossed toward me almost the entire time and was kind of moving/kicking her leg a lot and seemed to lean a little toward me at some points. So I've been getting some mixed signals. She is taking a lot of classes, so I wasn't sure if she really was busy when we were going to hang out, but I thought it was weird that she would agree to go out somewhere and sometimes ask me herself, but then cancel at the last minute.

I've seen her drunk a couple of times (don't lecture me, we're in college, it happens, and she's pretty responsible about it), and when she is she comes on very strong. Those few times she'd seem pretty coherent early on, but would want me to hold her hand, hug her, and make out with her and go on about how she is attracted to me, but the next day when we'd talk she would say she didn't remember any of it. One time we had both had a lot to drink at a friend's birthday party and sort of made out. Finally I was talking to her on the phone and told her what she was saying and asked what was going on between us. I told her I liked her but of course wasn't attached, like to the point where we couldn't be friends if she wasn't interested, but I at least wanted to know what was going on because I had no clue what to think. She said she liked me but was laid back and wanted to take it slow and see where things went.

We're pretty compatible, and I'm pretty attracted to her, so I would like to make this work if she really is interested. I haven't really tried to kiss her or put my arm around her or anything like that yet aside from that one time because I don't want to piss her off/weird her out. Is she trying to play hard-to-get? Is she trying to play mind games just to be a bitch? Or is she interested?

[Lite]

Sounds like she's interested in you, but maybe not looking for an exclusive relationship just yet? Give her a test drive, see if she can drive stick.

[vashti]

You've got to try to make a connection when she is sober.

BTW - I don't buy that she doesn't remember anything. She probably is just embarrassed by her behavior, and wants to deflect some responsibility.

[Jade Altair]

BTW - I don't buy that she doesn't remember anything. She probably is just embarrassed by her behavior, and wants to deflect some responsibility.

Alcohol has and always will be a large shield of deflection for women to cause less blame on themself.

[Lite]

Oh, and the first time you sleep with someone. Please for the love of all that is holy and sacred make sure that you're both sober. You don't want end up in a situation where she changes her mind after the fact and claims you raped her.

[starbuck]

Why don't you try taking her on a proper date? Seems like the both of you are always in these "hanging out" situations where of course things would be nebulous. IMO, you are dangling dangerously close to the black hole that some of us call "the friend zone"

Try taking her to a nice, romantic dinner sometime. If a romantic date doesn't turn up the heat, then yeah, she's probably just seeing you as a friend right now or wants to play the field.

Good luck!