Help! I still have feelings for my ex?

[lpkdz]

Hi all!
I having a bit of a problem, and it's driving me insane! I have been dating a wonderful man for over 2 years now. He is great! So kind, we are totally compatible, have similar interests, connect really well, and have a great bond between us.

Around a year before I started dating my current boyfriend, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He and I have had an on again off again relationship for over 5 years (3 of it consistently together, 2 on again off again). We have a very extensive history. Because we have such a history, we have always kept in touch. None of our breakups have been terribly messy, so there really aren't too many hard feelings between us. When I was first dating my current boyfriend, my ex and I would hang out or talk every couple of monthes. Completely platonic. As time has gone on we talk less and less. I haven't seen him in over a year, and I get the occasional text message checking in every couple of monthes. Unfortunetly, as time goes on and on I am realising I still have some feelings for him. I am also beginning to realise that I have never stopped having feelings for him on some level, and have just been supressing them all these years because my current boyfriend is so great.

I am completely baffled by this! I have a few exes that I keep in contact with, and I dont' feel anything but friendship for them. It has never taken me more than 6 monthes to a year to get over someone, and I just can't understand what would possess me to have feelings for my ex still! It's been nearly 3 years with little contact/interaction! I feel terrible for even thinking about someone besides my boyfriend, and am not sure what to do.

If anyone here watches Sex and the City, my current boyfriend is my Aiden, and my ex in Mr. Big. If that makes any sense.

I don't know what to do. Is it normal to have feelings for someone after so long? Especially with a wonderful current boyfriend? What do I do? Cut off interactions with my ex entirely, and try to get over it? What if I don't? Is it fair to be dating someone when you still have feelings for someone else? I'm really confused by these feelings, and very angry at myself for having them. I really don't know what to do.

[Gigabitch]

Well, why did you break up, not just once, but many times? Breakups that weren't messy indicate to me an absence of passion.

Maybe it's not really him you're actually missing. Be sure you're clear about this before you break up with your bf over it. You might just be a commitment-phobe looking for reasons to break up with yet another guy.

[mspandaroo]

Don't be angry at yourself for having feelings, they are there for a reason, you just have to understand them.

5 years is a really really long time to be in a relationship, I have been in a relationship that long, and I still think about my ex (we broke up a year ago). Although we completely stopped talking to each other about 6 months ago and it made things so much easier. Healing takes time and distance from whatever is causing the pain and confusion.

If you are still in love with your ex, would he get back with you? Is it likely to work? Is it worth it to get rid of your current wonderful boyfriend for this guy who obviously did not work out after numerous tries in a 5 year span? Nobody could answer this but yourself.