Pros and Cons

[Mish]

This was a good read. I'm in favour of letting the cards fall where they may. It will make things more interesting.

[Charlie Boy II]

she's been sending me messages tonight kind of explaining the reason she's been "distant" is because she wanted to tie up the loose ends with this other guy first. She said that was what was behind the cancellations and the mixed signals I was getting.

I told her I wasn't worried so long as it was well and truly over now and as long as she isn't still hung up on him. She said, "how can I be? He's gay!" I know there's probably going to be some cyber frowning about this latest development and me being a rebound. But I think for the rebound principle to apply there has to be genuine emotional attachment, and I just don't think it was there enough for it to be an issue. Like I said, they were only together for a few months.

Anyway, nothing in life is simple.

[vashti]

Emotional attachment on whose part? Her emotional attachment for the ex?

I think the danger of being a rebound only really applies if YOU become too emotionally attached to HER, while she is still attached to him. If you aren't inclined toward a deep romantic attachment, I doubt you will have any trouble. If you are just having fun, I think you are safe.

[lesa]

Ah so she is the girl who has sexual relationship and then hopes to turn you into bf/gf because of that.

The relationship is a rebound one. It won't become serious and if it somehow does it would be an unhealthy one full of drama due to her character mainly.

She is no one special and probably someone to play with until she gets on your nerves.

[lesa]

haha I'm not looking for "real love", just an attractive, fun, girl to hang out with and have sex with over the rest of the summer and maybe beyond. that's all I ever look for really.

Well is she the best you can do? Are you concerned about that character of hers?

[Gigabitch]

But what about my mind? I'm not just a peice of meat, you know.

Well, you're not exactly Mr. Emotionally Available either, are you? You're extremely good-looking, intelligent, likely to be professionally successful, charming when you want to be, I'm sure, but as a Deep Love prospect, maybe she knows better than to expect much from you.

How come every girl that goes out with you begins by almost immediately giving you a blow job?

Not to cast aspersions on CB's wiener, but I know many women who want to go south and get a good look at Mr. Happy before it gets anywhere near their coochie. You can go and brush your teeth if you don't like what you've put in your mouth. It's a lot harder to brush your vagina.

cb i'm gonna have to pimp you out.

None for me, thanks. He's too mouthy. I'd rather rent out someone that wouldn't spend all of my expensive hour arguing with me.

You're a rebound, CB. Don't overinvest in this gal.

I'm worried about that, too.

she's been sending me messages tonight kind of explaining the reason she's been "distant" is because she wanted to tie up the loose ends with this other guy first. She said that was what was behind the cancellations and the mixed signals I was getting.

****, how long does it take to "tie up a loose end"? You call the guy, you tell his gay ass that you've moved on and you're done. It doesn't take weeks.

IMO, CB, you may have a very different idea of what Sammy is that what's really there. You almost describe her as a guy with big tits, with very limited emotional requirements and a straightforward manner. Her behavior paints a completely different picture. She's acting like a total girl. As far as I can tell, she seems to put up a really good front to her friends, but you've strayed into the "here be dragons" territory. You can't expect her to still be the super casual girl she was before you got near her beardless clam.

[Charlie Boy II]

haha you guys are a tough crowd.

I actually don't have a problem with the way she's behaved. She's not my girlfriend after all, she doesn't owe me anything. In fact I was quite impressed she told me about her ex-boyfriend at all.

Look all I really want is a fun, hot but undemanding chick. I figure once university starts I'll want a girlfriend. Someone to just hang out with in the evenings, so I don't go sniffing round bars and nightclubs.

It's an interesting point you make at the end there Giga. I suppose all I can say is she doesn't come off as even remotely emotional. Which for me, is a good thing. From a pragmatic view, because I am not. But I also find it attractive. I like girls that seem in control.

[lesa]

Not to cast aspersions on CB's wiener, but I know many women who want to go south and get a good look at Mr. Happy before it gets anywhere near their coochie. You can go and brush your teeth if you don't like what you've put in your mouth. It's a lot harder to brush your vagina.

Wow Giga, that's the best quote I have ever seen on LF. I'm almost tempted to using it as a signature but it's not me .


CB you like her because she is hard to get (I mean for a relationship). I see no good quality about her, except for an easy sex. Keep your likes and loves in check and keep your condoms in your pocket and all will be well until she switches on you and demands a relationship or dumps you.

[Charlie Boy II]

what is it that's set you so against her Lesa? Because she almost put out last week?

As giga said, this is all pretty typical girl behaviour for the early dating phase.
And I think you girls need to realise this is just about what it's like every time we date one of you. It is never simple. There is always something. Always some crap to deal with.

[Cain]

And I think you girls need to realise this is just about what it's like every time we date one of you. It is never simple. There is always something. Always some crap to deal with.

No f-ckin' doubt.

It's just a matter of trying to bypass all of the initial drama.

[Charlie Boy II]

I reckon the best thing to do is ignore it, whatever the drama is (usually fear of getting hurt, concern about x or y element of your personality, some anxiety about your compatability etc, etc.)

If you indugle them you just turn whatever issue it is in to a bigger drama. But if you ignore it, their initial jitters do tend to fade away sooner or later.

It's like when you see a toddler fall over. If you rush over and make a fuss they'll start hollering. But if we ignore them, most of the time they'll get up again and scamper off.

[lesa]

She avoids you so that she can deal with her ex?
Then she claims it's because of her sad friend?
She doesn't care to "date" you but you would love to "sex" you?
Then she tells you her drama business which was really not necessary?

Yep, some women will do those things and that's why we women here are trying to help you out. Coming here, you can get a better understanding of how some women work and what may be her reasons for her actions. You get that "secret" here. It's up to you on whether you want to be cautious about it.

A man of your caliber can do better. For some reason you do not feel that is true.

I can tell from the little that you posted about her that she is nothing but drama. Keep her long enough and you will figure it out yourself.

[lesa]

I reckon the best thing to do is ignore it, whatever the drama is (usually fear of getting hurt, concern about x or y element of your personality, some anxiety about your compatability etc, etc.)

If you indugle them you just turn whatever issue it is in to a bigger drama. But if you ignore it, their initial jitters do tend to fade away sooner or later.

It's like when you see a toddler fall over. If you rush over and make a fuss they'll start hollering. But if we ignore them, most of the time they'll get up again and scamper off.

If you feel you are a worthy person, you don't ignore it--the behavior. You ignore them--the person.

You guys need some motivation. If this was a high school girl then I could care less about her behavior. In fact, I wouldn't give advice. (I don't bother with high school stuff . This is a grown woman who should have goals in her life. She should be too old to behave like this. It's something about her character that worries me.

Don't you feel that you desire better women? I grown woman that knows what she wants, likes what she sees and goes for it?

[Cain]

I think what most of you aren't understanding is he doesn't seem to care if it doesn't work out. He's not anticipating a relationship with her. She's someone fun to hang out with that is attractive and will give up the pussy.

As long as he doesn't get emotionally invested (which I have no problem believing won't happen), then he should be fine.

[lesa]

I think what most of you aren't understanding is he doesn't seem to care if it doesn't work out. He's not anticipating a relationship with her. She's someone fun to hang out with that is attractive and will give up the pussy.

As long as he doesn't get emotionally invested (which I have no problem believing won't happen), then he should be fine.

lol, that's what we are saying. We are simply responding to the thread. Maybe we should ignore?

Cain, we are saying the same as you but it looks like we are disagreeing because we are using a different perspective to come to the same conclusion.

Actually most if not all of us are in agreement.