I Wasted my Youth on a Failed Relationship

[TheNightmanCome]

Hi everyone. If there's anyone who could help, I would really appreciate some advice.

I'm 23 years old, and 6 months ago, my first and only girlfriend of 5 years dumped me. We had met as freshmen and spent all of our time in college together. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, but it was hard seeing eachother during the school year; we took different courses, I live off campus, we have jobs at different times of the week, but we spent most of our time together during the spring, summer, and winter breaks.

Then last July, she told me that we had grown too far apart; that our circumstances had made it too hard for us to spend time together and that had made us distant to each other. She told me she loved me "in a different way," now. I didn't want to believe it. I begged her to stay with me; I promised to spend more time together and make it like things were when we first met, but she insisted on breaking up.

I was devastated. She was the only girl I've ever been with. I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep, driving to secluded places and slamming on the dashboard and screaming until my hands were numb and I was out of breath, but as time went on, I realized and started to accept being with out her.

I've given up on trying to get back with my ex-girlfriend. She doesn't answer my phone calls or emails anymore. I'm doing my best to move on, but being without her made me realize that I wasted so much of my youth. From 18 to 23, the time when most young guys are supposed to have fun and party and chase girls, I was stuck with this one who wouldn't stick around.

I never had college party hookups. I never learned to flirt. I never even learned to ask a girl out or even talk to her because I spent all my time with my girlfriend, and it's killing me inside. I want to meet someone new, but I'm 23 and I feel like I'm still in ****ing highschool! I can't even look a girl in the eye and ask for her name or say mine.

I can rarely force myself to approach a girl, but all my attempts to introduce myself, to tell a joke or be charming all fall flat; they draw nothing but a blank stare or a forced, fake laugh. (I don't know which is worse). And every time I fail, I feel worse about myself; I feel more and more ashamed and embarrassed; I feel less and less like a man.

It's so hard moving on alone. I'm trying to look to the future, but every day alone is more hope out the window. I feel like a ship adrift at sea; like a blind man trying to get out of a maze. Every day, I feel more and empty and dead inside.

I want to meet someone new. I want to go on a date again. I want to kiss a girl again. I want to have sex. I want to feel wanted and desired again, but I have no idea where to begin.

[Lite]

I've always said that youth is wasted on the young...

You're 23 and have a long life ahead of you. When I was your age I was going through something similar. The next gal I dated I married, you know, so that I didn't waste any more time. Then I woke up and figured out that I was 30, miserable, and needed to do something with my life to fix things.

Relax, take some time out from dating to tend to your wounds, maybe concentrate on making yourself a better catch for women, and just live life.

[IndiReloaded]

Party and such now. 23 is not old at all. Past is past. Ppl spend years in marriages that end. They move on, you can too.

[Only-virgins]

I rubbed my eyes twice when I realized a man was posting this. Only women view long term failed relationships as a waste of time. Man see it as A LOT OF FREE SEX that finally came to an end. Its all in the experience, there is nothing else to life.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah 23 is heaps of time for all that stuff. I wouldn't feel too cheated if I were you.

[Cain]

I rubbed my eyes twice when I realized a man was posting this. Only women view long term failed relationships as a waste of time. Man see it as A LOT OF FREE SEX that finally came to an end. Its all in the experience, there is nothing else to life.

I tend to think the reason you've not had a long term relationship is because women don't want you.

[Only-virgins]

I tend to think the reason you've not had a long term relationship is because women don't want you.

Never noticed since I couldn't care less for long term relationships. They however don't seem to mind having sex with me so I am all good.

[Only-virgins]

yeah 23 is heaps of time for all that stuff. I wouldn't feel too cheated if I were you.

Maybe one of the reasons she broke off with him in the first place is to go out and live a little.

[Cbrider]

Focus your frustrations and anger into making a better person for yourself. Start lifting, exercising, learning new things. Life is NOT over, don't let yourself think for a second you are "late" or "out of time", your 23 and this generation is NOTHING like the previous ones.

We don't go straight through a 4 year college and graduate after high school, we don't get married at 23, we are different.

Dating is a numbers game, everything is a gamble and a calculated risk. You're going to get shot down and turned away, you can't dwell on it or let it get to you. There is a girl out there who wants to be your everything, makes you smile with everything she does and wants to spend her life in your arms. Never give up and never back down.

[bluesummer]

Don't most of us go through this?

It sucks, but you'll move on. The first one is always the hardest to get over. It's been seven years since I broke up with my first ex, and while I don't regret it or feel any pain or loss, I still think about him. I got over the subsequent ones much faster.

You're young yet. Lots of time to experience life and other relationships. The more time you spend mourning a lost love is time you're wasting that could've been spent ENJOYING your youth. Learn from this relationship......take the lessons from it into your next one. As long as you're learning from your relationships, you haven't wasted your time.

[vashti]

I haven't read the original post, but did anyone else think it was kind of funny someone thinks they wasted their youth at the age of 23?

[Gribble]

He may have wasted all his high school and college years. Those can be a blast assuming you aren't dumb enough to cling to some chick like she's the one when you haven't even begun to experience the full range of possibilities out there.

[Cbrider]

He may have wasted all his high school and college years. Those can be a blast assuming you aren't dumb enough to cling to some chick like she's the one when you haven't even begun to experience the full range of possibilities out there.

Life and being young don't stop at the end of college, in fact a lot of my friends who have graduated are just getting into the "fun" part of their younger years.

[lesa]

You did not waste your youth. You enjoyed yourself for the most part did you not? Now you can date around if that's what you feel youth is about. As long as you are happy with your present, all is well.

[Only-virgins]

He may have wasted all his high school and college years. Those can be a blast assuming you aren't dumb enough to cling to some chick like she's the one when you haven't even begun to experience the full range of possibilities out there.

So the entire part where people tell you that high school and college is awesome is because of only being with random numerous girls? I never had sex in high school but it was one hell of a awesome experience that is for sure. Hell, I didn't even care for girls much and didn't even hang out with them. Still thought they had cooties ...till I started my major in bio and learned that they never had anything like that in the first place