How to make myself vanish?

[swargolet]

Well I got the title from the "how to make an ex vanish" thread. Same thing but dealing with myself.
Plenty of you guys have gone through break-ups and felt like you HAD to keep contact with your ex. Well I feel that way to and I'm an idiot and too many times I go back to her to talk or some stupid shit like that. I will be proud of myself for keeping my distance for a couple days then boom I will lose it all and talk to her and pretty much start from scratch.

So how do I make myself vanish? O ya and to remind you guys I live with her. I am going back to college tomorrow sooooo it might be a little easier, but even still, I will still want to text her and call her every so often. How do you pull through that?

I want to but I know 100% that I shouldnt but for some reason I can't help myself. I dont know if it is the fact that she lives with me and that when I'm off in college it will be easier or is it just that I cant control myself? I have no clue.

So I guess this is where you guys come in. Is this a normal feeling? Am I acting on it too strong or is my situation just making it harder? Also I would like to make myself "vanish" well at least for the next couple months. So how do I do that? I guess more so... how do I keep myself from contacting her?
Thanks.

[IndiReloaded]

Is this another of those: hey I'm only pretending to ask for advice and when you give it to me I'm going to make up excuses to rebut whatever point you make, no matter how reasonable?

Not interested, if so.

[swargolet]

Lol I know I did that in the past but nope. How can you trust me? Well this thread alone should kinda show it since I want to vanish, I dont want to make a friendship work until it is ready to work. It is actually sinking in now that I need to get through this first before trying anything else and the only way to do that is to take her out of my life for as long as need be.

[Bokonon]

If you want to stop yourself from talking to her then you need to develop the self-awareness to realize when your thoughts begin to take you along a trajectory that will lead to that, and the stability to put the brakes on the process when you do realize it. Or you can do something like staying with a friend until you go back to college if you prefer avoiding personal growth.

[swargolet]

Ya that is the problem for me. The brakes are kinda put on when I'm already in the conversation! I know it is bad to talk because I usually end up worse in the end it just doesnt seem to click!
I have been staying at friends as much as possible and I'm fine up until I come home, that is when it all goes to hell. Also I'm going back to college tomorrow I believe, the only problem there is I dont hang out with many people there which I am going to try to change this semester. I hope to get involved in some clubs.

[Everlovin]

See, this is something that causes me to lose respect for other people. Exes are called exes for a reason. If she wants you then thats different but don't ever be the one to initiate contact with an ex.

[swargolet]

See, this is something that causes me to lose respect for other people. Exes are called exes for a reason. If she wants you then thats different but don't ever be the one to initiate contact with an ex.

I dont understand what you are saying? The thing is I dont want to be the one initiating contact and I dont know why it is so hard for me to control myself. That is pretty much what this whole thread is about. I know that I shouldnt be having contact with her at least not until I've personally healed.
I'm just worried that at college 9:00 will roll around and I'll have the urge to call her. why 9:00? because that was the time she would always call me when I was in college.

[and_for_what]

Everyone told me off for wanting to contact my girlfriend after she left me, but I did it anyway and I'm so glad I did. Last Friday we met up and talked for hours, just talking about everything and explaining how we felt. After that I felt SO much better, it's unbelievable. I saw her a couple of times since then, and each time I have made a huge leap forward in my "recovery", and now pretty much feel ready not to see her again.
I haven't cried for almost a week, and I'm sleeping and eating normally again. If I had resisted contacting her then I can only imagine I'd be just as ****ed up as I was before.

I needed to see her because there were so many unanswered questions and so much I hadn't said. It was only by sorting that out that I could RIP.

Ask yourself WHY you want to contact her? What satisfaction does it give you, or what satisfaction would you want it to give you?
If you need to spend time with her before you can move on then do it. You have your whole life to move on if that's what has to be done, but if you need to talk with her and get stuff off your chest then you have to strike while the iron's hot.

[Mish]

So how do I make myself vanish? O ya and to remind you guys I live with her.

How can you vanish if you live with her? Silly. Move out first. That's your highest priority on the things to do list.

[Muffin Princess]

It's difficult isn't it when you've been so close to someone for a length of time, always calling them, texting them, chatting to them, then all of a sudden you're expected to just stop doing those things. It's not that easy, it's like a habit that you've grown accustomed to, an important part of your life.
I'm not much use here with the advice, I'm going through the same. When I went to my parents house for Christmas, I promised myself I wouldn't initiate contact with my ex, but he spoke to me on Facebook after only three days and after that, I couldn't stop myself talking to him every couple of days. I guess it will just take time. One time you have the urge to text her, resist it, just one time. The next time you have the urge, you might not be able to resist it, but then make yourself resist the urge two times, and three, and eventually you won't even have the urge any more.

[swargolet]

Well I cant really move out since I live there. I'm 20 she is 17. I am in college so most of the time Im not home, but I will still be home for breaks.
That is exactly it Muffin! Sometimes I can resist it other times I just HAVE to say something. I find that it is A LOT easier to resist it if I'm doing something with my friends or something I'm really interested in. I'm just worried when I go back to my college as the main friends I hang out with go to other colleges and I am often bored at my college. I have already made it a goal to get better grades this semester, make an exercise schedule and get back into shape, and I told myself that I have to get out to at least 1 event per week and check out at least 3 clubs this semester. I hope I can find some things I like and some cool people. So My main priority for myself is to stay active it will just be hard in those times when I cant be active such as late at night which I guess is where you guys come in with ideas as I'm all out.

[and_for_what]

Why resist it? Get it all over and done with in a couple of long talks and then you'll be free! It's better than spending months itching to say things to her

[swargolet]

The reason I want to avoid it is because we already had waaay too many long talks and I pretty much ended up just repeated myself over and over which annoyed her. Also, although I would often times find out new info, I would always feel worse afterward. She would say things that I already knew but would hurt me such as "There just isnt anything, I'll see you and wont feel a thing" or "When I'm with him (her new bf) I'm happy, or I cant wait to see him". I know it is the truth but I already know that and when we have those talks it just hurts me when she says that. Some of the stuff she told me did help but now it is just getting repetitive.
Also, I am now back in college and in a way it is easier but at the same time it is harder. It is easier because I dont see/hear her all the time so I dont have the urge to go up to her and talk to her, but it is harder because we used to talk every day and if I was kinda bored we'd talk and now we dont talk at all. It really is a huge change and it is quite difficult even after just 1 day!
So I want to resist the urge to call her. Right now the campus is pretty much empty since most people are moving in sunday or monday and not much is going on now, so maybe I'll just have to live out this weekend then see how it is, but I know from the past that this campus is pretty quiet.
Lastly.... I've noticed some similarities between the break-up and the death of my mother. When my mother died I was unable to get myself to delete her contact and pictures from my phone, well at least until I got a new phone, with the break-up I am unable to remove her as a speed contact. I know I dont have to but it is useless to keep her as one. Is this denial or is it kinda normal?

[and_for_what]

Is this denial or is it kinda normal?

both, of course

[swargolet]

Ok it has been a week since I last posted in here.
Everday has brought different feelings. I have found it quite difficult some days and other days not as bad but the bad thing is each day has been getting worse! There are so many things I just cant do anymore because it makes me feel like crap or reminds me of something.
For instance... when I walked to the commons alone I would often times call her. Well now I am just unable to take that path alone for some reason. It is weird. I have also had the urge to look at her myspace and check everything out but I know it will only hurt me. I'm really really trying to resist the urge to contact her and talk about her but it is getting extremely hard as the days go on.

I have taken up exercising and going out more. I used to be in my room the majority of the day, now Im almost always out. I made a schedule for when I work out and I have kept to that so far. I'm trying to stay active and just get through this Ive even tried to slowly get back on the dating scene. so why is it getting worse?