Is it necessary wrong to flirt with a guy who has a girlfriend?

[kitty001]

I hope this topic hasnt been beaten to death already. .Im interested in a guy at my school, but I believe he just started dating this girl within the last few weeks. Ive never met her; from what Ive gathered she lives about 2-3 hours away.

I am falling for this guy and the things he does give me the impression he likes me too. For instance, he chats with me a lot, asks my opinions on things, smiles and laughs often with me. But I try not to show that I like him too much because part of me feels bad about potentially ruining the relationship he has with this other girl.. Am I wrong to want to flirt back? It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to look at him directly if he's acting too nice because I'm trying to prevent my attraction from showing.

Opinions appreciated..


oh, *necessarily

[ecojeanne]

because you said that you are falling for him i say no it's not a good idea.

overall tho if its friendly banter and friendly flirting where both aren't that interested then its all good

[IndiReloaded]

Keep it light, as Eco says. If you have feelings, keep them hidden until he is available. If he pursues you first, you need to let him know clearly you do not date 'taken' guys.

That is, if you think that stealing someones BF/GF is wrong. If not, then have at it and good luck.

[Gigabitch]

It's not necessarily "wrong"- there's no ring on his finger. It isn't cool, though, and you should think about how it looks to everyone around you. Some people would judge you pretty harshly for being too friendly with a guy that's even a little bit taken.

[Cbrider]

It's not necessarily "wrong"- there's no ring on his finger. It isn't cool, though, and you should think about how it looks to everyone around you. Some people would judge you pretty harshly for being too friendly with a guy that's even a little bit taken.

Bingo - my personal belief is that messing with someone who is in a relationship is morally wrong and I WILL look down on you for it. Its a cowardly act in my eyes.

Someone else is bound to disagree, its all opinion.

[Bo]

How would u feel if someone was all up on your man? You judge it for yourself...

[carl1222]

I hope this topic hasnt been beaten to death already. .Im interested in a guy at my school, but I believe he just started dating this girl within the last few weeks. Ive never met her; from what Ive gathered she lives about 2-3 hours away.

I am falling for this guy and the things he does give me the impression he likes me too. For instance, he chats with me a lot, asks my opinions on things, smiles and laughs often with me. But I try not to show that I like him too much because part of me feels bad about potentially ruining the relationship he has with this other girl.. Am I wrong to want to flirt back? It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to look at him directly if he's acting too nice because I'm trying to prevent my attraction from showing.

Opinions appreciated..


oh, *necessarily

Harmless flirting can be fun, a series of mutual compliments with no negative consequences. But what you are describing is not flirting, it's trying to encourage his romantic interest in you and tempt him while he is in a committed romantic relationship.

You say "part of me feels bad about potentially ruining the relationship he has with this other girl" ... what part of you DOESN'T feel bad about that?

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

I like my neighbor's 2008 Mercedes... I really, really like it... so I like it when they let me drive it. It's a wonderful feeling... but the car isn't mine, and probably never will be. But I really want it... so it's ok for me to steal it, right?

You like another girl's guy... you get to play a bit, talk with him... and he throws a little affection your way with flirting and such. He isn't your boyfriend, and probably never will be. But you really want him... so you're asking if it's ok to flirt and eventually seduce another girl's boyfriend?

See the similarities?

[carl1222]

Are you the one who stole my Mercedes, Aeradalia???

[vashti]

Just ask him directly if he has a girlfriend. If he says yes, then tell him to let you know if they break up.

[carl1222]

Just ask him directly if he has a girlfriend. If he says yes, then tell him to let you know if they break up.

No tell him to let you know at least 3 months AFTER they break up. Rebounds suck.

Carl.

[doppelgaenger]

No, go ahead. It's a test for him. If he breaks up with his girl for you or cheats for you though, you might start to worry.

[carl1222]

No, go ahead. It's a test for him. If he breaks up with his girl for you or cheats for you though, you might start to worry.

That's a tough one, doppel ... sure, it will show kitty a lot about the kind of man she is becoming infatuated with, but in the end, if she pursues it, SHE is the one who is going to get hurt!

Carl.

[vashti]

No tell him to let you know at least 3 months AFTER they break up. Rebounds suck.

Carl.

I disagree. Her being the rebound only sucks if he was the one who was dumped by the previous girl, because then his emotions would be unstable.

[carl1222]

I disagree. Her being the rebound only sucks if he was the one who was dumped by the previous girl, because then his emotions would be unstable.

I disagree vashti ... dumpers also feel a lot of ambivalence too (grass not greener, etc.).

Carl.