Lets get married.

[Mish]

No matter, I can tell from the original post that the OP really wants to end it because she is not married.

That's what it looks like to me as well. I think OP has already made a decision and is just looking for people who agree with her about break up instead of opening up to the darker side of her intentions and consequences she will have to face up to.

Well, in the end it's her own choice. It won't be us, her kid will be a judge of her parenting abilities and in the end her son will give her the result of what kind of parent she is based on the actions that she takes. I personally don't know anyone who would be happy with a conclusion and label of "irresponsible parent" from their kid.

[Mish]

Well, Mish, Vash makes a really, really good argument here^, tho.

I agree with that in a sense that given OP's doubts she'll probably still push for break up even with two kids and make the situation even worse.

Maybe it IS better for her to break up now and ruin the life of only one child instead of two.

[IndiReloaded]

Ladi, do what is best for your child. Mish is right, you will regret anything less in time.

Whether that means staying or going, you need to figure out. Think very, very hard about what kind of sacrifices you will make in either case and what will be required of you to live the way you need to. Do NOT make any decision in haste or when upset. Cold and calculated decision is actually best here. Also, think hard about who will ultimately pay for those choices. You, him, your child & weigh that very carefully. Good luck.

[lesa]

Ghettofied relationships here we come hehe. Where's that baby thread discussing the irresponsible people going around procreating? This thread needs to be merged and used as an example. The OP has not explained or thought out anything to us yet.

[vashti]

I personally don't know anyone who would be happy with a conclusion and label of "irresponsible parent" from their kid.

Pity HE doesn't worry about that label.

Anyway - as usual, you are being melodramatic. Children don't label their parents this way, and the irresponsibility lies with the unplanned pregnancy - not with her wanting to establish some stability.

[bluesummer]

^ I just wanted to point out that marriage does not equal stability.

[vashti]

^ I just wanted to point out that marriage does not equal stability.

No, but it's the closest you are going to get to a legal declaration of intent to stick around.

[Mish]

Pity HE doesn't worry about that label.

He's not the one contemplating break up and from what I read here he actually does want to get married when the financial situation is right. But even if he doesn't him and her being together as a family unit and providing as best they can for the child together unmarried would be better for the child than her breaking up and raising the child by herself. He is a great father, there are no problems in the relationship, there is no instability except for this artificial one.

Anyway - as usual, you are being melodramatic. Children don't label their parents this way, and the irresponsibility lies with the unplanned pregnancy - not with her wanting to establish some stability.

From what I understand she is wanting to establish an instability. If she wants stability she's going about establishing it all the wrong ways.

[MzLadi]

Thanks everyone for the advice and remarks (even the negative and rude ones). I have made my decision.....

[lesa]

MzLadi, after a little thought, Lite has given the best possible advice for this situation.

Give your boyfriend a very serious marriage proposal yourself. If he doesn't say yes then you know.

Yes, I am very serious and I agree.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, Ladi, if you made your decision that quickly, I suppose you have decided not to think about it?

Its always a pleasure to see ppl making off-the-cuff decisions when something like their family is at stake.

[bluesummer]

Thanks everyone for the advice and remarks (even the negative and rude ones). I have made my decision.....

And..........?

[IndiReloaded]

BTW, the only folks here giving advice that are have been married and/or have kids are: Vash, Lite, BlueSum, and myself.

Yes, experience DOES matter.

THINK ABOUT IT.

[vashti]

Mish - you do realize they aren't living together, right? Assuming he doesn't intend to stop interacting with his child, things will remain exactly as they are now if they decide to split. That is not creating instability... that is status quo.

EDIT: good luck, ladi. I'm sure you've given this a lot of thought, and will hopefully do what is right for you all.

[lesa]

BTW, the only folks here giving advice that are have been married and/or have kids are: Vash, Lite, BlueSum, and myself.

Yes, experience DOES matter.

THINK ABOUT IT.

I was married before Indi.