I never thought I'd want to have kids either... I was even married and did reach a point where having children was feasible... but still I did not sense anything other than indifference to the idea.
Now that I'm in this new relationship I can feel the desire to have children go from a mere novelty (oh gee that would be great 'someday') to something that is slowly being wanted more and more as time progresses.
I feel like some part of my mind has finally 'clicked' and I am filled with the imperative need to put my life in order. Never did I have this much ambition and motivation before... it's very strange. And because of it... things in my life are actually working out for the better - very noticeable improvements, in spite of all the bad that has happened in recent years. I want to better myself...
Even my boyfriend has brought up the idea of children a few times.. on his own... and discussed the need to have his life situated. And now he's leaving to work hard at hopefully paying off his debts and bring back some extra revenue for his own peace of mind.
I don't know why I care to have children, when I didn't before... or why I care to want to have them with him and no one else. All I know is there is a part of me that has become so terribly motivated in piecing my life back together... and desires to eventually piece a life together with him.
All I know is when I think of the idea of having children with him... it brings about a feeling of happiness and some form of accomplishment. It inspires me to want to do more things in my life that make me happy... inspires me to want to do more with my life.
I'm sorry... I wish I could explain it better, but this is all still new to me.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen