Girls who are taken...

[boobaa]

So, why do you flirt?

I have noticed that girls who are taken flirt actually a lot more than girls who are not. Why? Is this because they feel worthy, more confident? --So, that makes sexism justifiable in some parts, do you agree with that?


Note, that I am no the only one who has noticed that, you may deny it all you want, but there are many many people who think like me in this matter.

[Aeradalia]

I have noticed that women in committed relationships seem to flirt more and it's probably because they feel more worthy or they are more confident. I do not know if that makes sexism justifiable... as that's not my field of expertise. Though I do wonder if a post like this is aimed to inflame or initiate a debate?


I flirt because it is fun, but I do tell my SO about it, rather than try to hide it. I also do not encourage or dissuade him from flirting either. Though I tend to flirt less now that I am in a relationship... whereas before I may have been actively seeking via flirting. Now it is just for fun with no real intent.

[boobaa]

Yeah, now that it is for more fun than real intent, you feel more free and you can try anything, right? And when it actually turns out to something then what?

With sexism, i mean that women need mens support to feel worthy. You know, it is always expected from women that they make a mistake, its forgiven, that sort of thing... And its about how unworthy they make themselves to devote to most successful man there is.

[Aeradalia]

Yeah, now that it is for more fun than real intent, you feel more free and you can try anything, right?

I'm not sure how you made the leap from having fun with no real intent to feeling free enough to try anything. Whenever I flirt I am always aware of what constitutes innocent fun and what is treading dangerous waters in regards to my relationship. Having fun does not mean that responsibility goes right out the window.

And when it actually turns out to something then what?

If I find a guy (or girl) is actually interested... then I realize that the fun is no longer there and it's starting to enter into those dangerous waters I mentioned before. My relationship means more to me than anything that could be offered by someone else... so I do what I need to in order to discourage this guy/girl who apparently got the wrong impression and spend more time with my SO.

With sexism, i mean that women need mens support to feel worthy.

Having a man's support is a luxury in life, not a requirement. I can live life and feel worthy without a man there. I can live life and feel worthy without a woman too. Self-respect and self-value have to exist before you can have a healthy relationship... so by default if you find yourself in a healthy relationship than you were reliant on yourself to feel worthy.

You know, it is always expected from women that they make a mistake, its forgiven, that sort of thing... And its about how unworthy they make themselves to devote to most successful man there is.

This is unknown to me... even though I am a woman I do not fully understand other women since I was raised outside of most truly 'feminine' influences during childhood and adolescence. My experience with males was basically the mentality that nothing is free. If they treated you nicely it's because you had to earn it... etc.

[trickin123]

I wouldnt say that girls that are in relationships are more confident. I just think that they get bored with the same thing everydday, daily, so by flirting they release alot of their tension in a harmless way.

[IndiReloaded]

So, why do you flirt?

Because its fun, Boobaa. And it compliments the person I flirt with. Its also good training for young ppl to learn about nuance.

Tell me, Boobaa, why do guys call me 'hottie' and ask me to run away to a tropical island with them? When they know I'm married and have even met my husband?

It also depends on what you mean by flirt. Do you mean smiles and calling you cute? Or do you mean they rub up against your crotch? Big difference.

[Aeradalia]

I wouldnt say that girls that are in relationships are more confident. I just think that they get bored with the same thing everydday, daily, so by flirting they release alot of their tension in a harmless way.

Women who are in relationships should feel more confident... they should find their SO is a true friend who has their back. If they don't feel this way... if they don't gain in confidence, then something may be wrong.

If the relationship is turning stale enough to the point of boredom then it's time for both partners to 'stoke the fires' once more. One should never let the passion wither and die because of 'boredom.'

Flirting isn't used to release tension that's found in a relationship... and should never be viewed as 'harmless.' If there is tension in the relationship it needs to be addressed and fixed. Never use flirting to help cope with such tensions, since you risk treading into those dangerous waters because you are upset and may fail to be as responsible as you should be .

I only flirt when I am truly happy in my relationship... when I am stressed I do not flirt. Flirting has to be regulated and it is easier to do this when you are not stressed and/or feeling spiteful towards your SO.

[Bo]

hmmm. you know what i never really noticed, but i would say there are times when i probably have flirted. I'm not really a flirty person though i don't think....usually for me it's just innocent unintentional flirting but like i said it doesn't happen often at all.

[IndiReloaded]

Flirting isn't used to release tension that's found in a relationship... and should never be viewed as 'harmless.'

Sorry Dalia, but I totally disagree. In France, latin countries, boring cocktail fundraiser parties, you get the idea, there is tons of flirting. In many cultures its considered a sign of maturity that you know how to flirt properly. There certainly is such a thing as harmless flirting. Its like knowing how to dance.

[Cain]

Harmless flirting is fine.

But I tend to think the "if I didn't have a bf, I'd totally let you pound me" flirting is a little over the top.

On a side not, I've got gas and it's stinking something awful every time I fart. Ugh.

[Aeradalia]

Sorry Dalia, but I totally disagree. In France, latin countries, boring cocktail fundraiser parties, you get the idea, there is tons of flirting. In many cultures its considered a sign of maturity that you know how to flirt properly. There certainly is such a thing as harmless flirting. Its like knowing how to dance.

They keep this flirting from progressing into something more... they regulate it... I did not mean that flirting in itself was fundamentally harmful... just that it can be transitional if allow it.

The poster I was responding to expressed using flirting as a way of relieving stress in a relationship and I viewed flirting (used in this context) as potentially dangerous. All too often I hear of people flirting when their relationship is going downhill and then this leads to that... and before long they are cheating.

[buih1001]

i only flirt when i'm angry with my bf who flirted openly infront of me! see how feels, when i did it! serve him right!

[vashti]

I'm with indi - it's just fun, and is generally harmless, and married/unavailable men do it, too. Whether or not someone takes it too far depends on the participants.

As I was thinking about this, I was remembering back to a study I read in which it was determined that young males tend to consider any friendly interaction with women to be "flirting".

[Only-virgins]

I always brush those girls off with my shoulder like they are a nuisance. If they are single and have not been with anyone I know, Its game time. I don't like teasing that leads to nothing.

People tick me off who confuse jokes and normal conversation for flirting.

[Tedel]

I find flirting funny, even with your girlfriend beside.