Breaking Apart

[Fresh]

I'm starting to really think deeply about my relationship with my boyfriend of 1 year. We do have a lot of similarites. But there's an important factor of a relationship which is economic status. As much as I don't want to think that money doesn't matter, deep down inside I know it does. I think I need to work on this aspect of life before I can start to love somebody. I cannot get close to him as much as I want to. I'm not earning as much as he's earning and I still live with my mom. I know that he want to spend the night with me, but the situation that I'm in right now would not let me. Our bond will not grow because I'm restricted to do certain things. I deeply care about him and it's going to be very painful to let go of this relationship. But it would be impossible for me to find joy if I myself is not complete. I truly think he's a good guy but I think I need to focus on accomplishment and independence right now. I need to break my relationship with my bf, but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. I'm confused Am I being reasonable right now?

[AirbenderAang]

Is this real?

Provide more details about how your differences in economic status restrict your relationship.

The best things in life do not have a monetary value attached to them.

[Fresh]

Is this real?

Provide more details about how your differences in economic status restrict your relationship.

The best things in life do not have a monetary value attached to them.

first i cannot have sex with him because I'm so scared of being pregnant because I'm not financially stable. 2nd he wants me to join him on trips or getaways but since i live under my moms roof i cannot go. 3rd as time goes by, i kinda get the feeling that he wants somebody who is more financially secure

[Ms.Cruise]

Well talk to him about your problem. And I bet he'll understand you.

[Cain]

How old are you both?

[Fresh]

How old are you both?

im 23, he's 24

[Cain]

im 23, he's 24

Are you in college? Are you working? Why are you unable to move out of your mom's house? What's holding you back?

[Fresh]

Are you in college? Are you working? Why are you unable to move out of your mom's house? What's holding you back?

thats the thing i'm done wit college. but currently i'm working in a place that has nothing to do with my major and earning on 9 bucks per hour whiles he's earning 20 per hour cannot move out cuz i have loans to pay and car payments

[Fresh]

i have loans to pay and car payments

[Cain]

$20 an hour isn't some super amazing salary either.

If he has no problem with the way things are, why should you let it bother you? Maybe he sees past the issues you're having and knows it's temporary. How about you at least talk to him about this before you make any decisions you may regret in the future.

[Fresh]

$20 an hour isn't some super amazing salary either.

If he has no problem with the way things are, why should you let it bother you? Maybe he sees past the issues you're having and knows it's temporary. How about you at least talk to him about this before you make any decisions you may regret in the future.

maybe it's bothering me because i'm thinkin what if he finds someone better and more independent. and what if it can take years until I'm up on my feet and he's cannot wait that long. i guess i'm just scared of getting hurt when things dont work out

[Fresh]

The best things in life do not have a monetary value attached to them.

yeah the best things in life do not have monetary value to them if you have super deep connection with your partner. Maybe I feel like we dont really have that and that's why i'm afraid he might find someone better

[Cain]

How about you talk to him about it?

[Fresh]

How about you talk to him about it?

I'm about to come Monday

[AirbenderAang]

First of all, know that no matter what, you are a beautiful and unique snowflake. There is only one of you and you are special in your own way. There is no one that is objectively better than you.

Secondly, you need to build up your self-esteem and love yourself for who you are. You need to love yourself despite your flaws. Maybe even try to love your flaws.

Thirdly, I seriously thought you were jokingly worrying about financial independence. It seems like such a non-issue. You just graduated from college and right now the world economy sucks. Give it time and you will gain financial independence. In the mean-time don't worry about it. Enjoy life. Do things that don't cost money or cost very little. There are thousands of those things to do. Finally, if you do get married, your economic status will even out.

Lastly, don't be scared of being hurt. There is nothing you can really do about that fear. Most likely you will be hurt. You have to face that fear and move beyond it. If you give in to fear, you will make a lot of poor decisions that you will probably regret. You gain nothing from fear.