Trying to move on, But cant. Think thers still a posibility. PLEASE HELP

[mma4life]

I met a girl at the start of the semester. We started hanging out alot and even tho i knew she had a bf acrosst he country i still pursued becuz she seemed very interested and was extreeemly flirty. But after a bit it seemed like nothing was happening with her getting rid of her ex so i said we shouldnt talk. She was crushed and thought that we had an amazing friendship. We stopped talking but then a week later started again this time her being single.

She grew relly close to me over the next few weeks, flirting at a max, and then one night after clubbing one thing led to another and yea. After that night tho she said how she wanted to take things slow just coming out of a relationship. This confused me alot making me act weird around her sometimes and which led to her just wanting to be firends.

I was fcked up after this but i thought i would try once more.... I did.... and got it out of the friendzone after a couple weeks. After i made my move again,she was all over my nuts hardcore. Texting every morning and night to say goodmorinig/night then a million other times in the day. Always wanted to hangout etc. The last time we had went to the movies, all she wanted to do was make out. Then after we left she sent me like a novel about how crazy she was for me and thinks about me all the time. The next day was the same and she wanted to hangout again lol. But then it all just randomly stopped.......... I didnt hear from her until the next day when i called her. She said she had a "bad day" but would tell me whats up the next day. We meet up and she tells me she talked to her ex on the phone and she realized she still has feelings for him and it wouldnt be fair to me. She said she also had feelings for me and really felt something the first time we kissed and when i confronted her about me being a rebound she said i really wasnt.

I was so crazy about this girl and seriously thought we would have a good relationship. But then this bs happend and i was crushed. I flipped on her and told her we should never talk again. She was really said we couldnt be friends becuz she really liked our friendship. Whether that was the right choice or not i think she just used me.

2 weeks later i thought i had forgotten her and moved on. I deleted her from msn, facebook and haVent spoken since we had this back and fourth texting battle about the bullshit lol. But now i really cant seem to forget her. Her ex lives across the country and i kno that really isnt gonna work out. Should I this holiday send her a text just to let her kno i still care or mayb want to be firends or should i just leave it be?

[lesa]

If it's not rebound then what is she doing ending your relationship for her ex?

It sounds like rebound to me. I would have kept it in the friend zone or keep her at a distance until she was over her relationship with the ex and then respond. Only you can decide what you want now. You knew this was a possibility when pursuing a woman immediately after her break up.

[mma4life]

If it's not rebound then what is she doing ending your relationship for her ex?

It sounds like rebound to me. I would have kept it in the friend zone or keep her at a distance until she was over her relationship with the ex and then respond. Only you can decide what you want now. You knew this was a possibility when pursuing a woman immediately after her break up.

well it did take a couple weeks after our first "dating" period to get it out of the friendzone. And by that time i thought she was finaly ready to try it again as she started all the touching and stuff like just out of the blue, so i unno i guess i was confused too.

But she didnt really leave me for him she just thought it wouldnt be fair to me if it continued with her sitll having feelings. And the guy lives across the country and she prob wont see him for a while so i unno whats gonna happen with that.

[lesa]

She may not be physically with him but she ended your relationship together for him--her ex. She touching you is a part of the rebound. She was trying to rebound and use you as a healing relationship. She knows that is what was happening and decided to not use you since you clearly want more than a fling or short term relationship.

She is clearly not over him since he is across country yet she still feels the need to do what she is doing. She is not ready for a relationship yet and at this time you will only be her cushion until she is finally over him.

[carl1222]

Lesa is absolutely right. You were her fallback as a way to get out of a relationship more easily and with less pain. I don't much agree with the attitude that "it's easier to end a relationship if you have something to go to." That's despicable behavior on her part, and should cause you great worry that she may do the same to you in the future.

Nonetheless, you don't have any real competition because:

1) She's looking for an easy way out, because her relationship with him is not satisfying for her, and
2) Her relationship with him is cross-country.

So if you have patience, you will eventually win the war even though he has won the battle. But I have to ask you ... why would you want to be with someone who would so casually toss aside a relationship just to indulge her attraction for someone else? It could happen to you! Decent girls break off relationships BEFORE they start pursuing one with another guy! Her heavy flirtation with you before they broke up was emotional cheating!

Carl.

[mma4life]

So I texted her anyways tnight, as i just felt the need to do it now. I didn want to call just in case she was sleeping but yea i got an instant response, the convo felt i unno ok i guess i dont relly kno wut to make of it.

Me: Merry Christmas (name)... Ive been thinking about u lately, Hope ur doing good.
Her: O whoa.... merry christmas to you too (name)!
Me: thx
Her: how are you? What have u been doing for the holidays do u have big plans for tomo?
Me: blah blah blah wut about u?
her: blah blah blah. Turns out her family was celebrating it late at night and they were just at a small party or sum.
Me: o well that sounds fun. Blah blah. But i just wanted to say hi b4 bed, ive missed you..
Her. ok, it was really nice talking to you. take care and goodnight.
Me: Yea thanks, hope we can talk again soon

so yea i dont kno wut to make of this it seemed pretty neutral, not great, but not bad. Do i just wait to see if she contacts me next or do i say wuts up in a day or so or at all?

[AirbenderAang]

carl's post still holds.

[carl1222]

carl's post still holds.

Sad but true Air.

The question has now become not how to put things back together, MMA ... but (as I said before) why you would want it?

Carl.

[Cbrider]

Just walk away man. Even if it works out shes already fired off some bad signals with her conduct and history doesn't tend to be wrong.

Its an easy thing for me to say, I have been in your spot before but from my experience its better to just cut it off and go your separate ways.

[mma4life]

yea for a bit i was doing fine. I was pissed at her and never wanted to speak or see her again. But after 2 weeks now its started to come back where im still constanty thinking of her, i guess tho like the other times that ive had a chance to walk away, this is the one time i should finally do it lol.