Not loving my wife

[Dating Port]

This is a continuation of an earlier conversation from the "sister in law thread posted by Connor45

In my respect it's oveer. I just know me. I wouldn't advise anyone to take the same path though. I set my self apart in those views. My boss and I talk about this all the time in seeing what we want and what we see before us and do not want to become. Sort of "what keeps you young theory".

Interesting. But you don't think you are doing your wife & kids a disservice by remaining in a factually dead marriage? The research says that kids only do better in *stable* 2-parent homes. Sometimes divorce is preferable.

Also, there is your wife to consider. While YOU may be okay with the status quo, if you are truly finished don't you think she might be better off in the long run with the chance of finding someone who can meet her emotional & physical needs?

I'm sorry, but I see your approach just as half-assed as Connors. And its teaching your children the wrong message.

This IS my wife's doing and although I really don't want to be here My kids only see a "stable" front.


Yes I am OK with this but I tell her all the time it's time to move on and find someone else.

As i said, my kids see a stable front. There is another thread in here where a guy's GF has panick attacks for insecurity. While I'm not using this as an excuse for my situation, I'm in the same boat but married. My wife and I talk about this all the time also and I'm trying to work my way through this with out dire effects. You give honest advice Indi, and if we wish to continue this discussion we should start our own dialog in a new thread so as not to take away from the discussion at hand.

Yes lead me to a new thread. How long have you been married? How old are the children? Did you initially thought to spend a wonderful lifetime with the wife? Why the desire to end the relationship now? Why the choice to have children?

I'm going into my 7th year now. My children are 6,5,& 1. Of Course you initially think nothing will go wrong. Our relationship started going bad in year two. We worked throiugh things and did okay for another 2 years. Then my wife just stopped. She said she couldn't stand being in the same room with me. Her skin crawled when I touched her. Then she moved her mother in law into our apartment. Then she and her mother secretly removed my name from the lease and replaced it with her mother's. When I found the amended lease tucked away in the closet, I moved out that same day. I still sent money each week for the children. We were seperated for a year and a half. Then we started talking on the phone for a period and decided to give it another try. Well the situation IS different. It's nopt the same and the original love is no longer there. It's not her, It's me. I can't let go the events that occurred previously. My mind just won't shut it down.

[vashti]

If you and your wife can manage to be nice to one another, I agree that it is better for your kids that you stay married. If either of you walk around moping or feeling sorry for yourself, or are hostile, then naturally it would be better to separate.

Why did you make a third kid if you were so unhappy?

BTW - your avatar made me think you were female.

[lesa]

I say leave. The oldest child is 6. That's a LONG time staying with someone you do not love. There are better ways to raise children than living in a house divided.

[DoesntMatter]

I don't love your wife either OP

[IndiReloaded]

I say leave. The oldest child is 6. That's a LONG time staying with someone you do not love. There are better ways to raise children than living in a house divided.

Unless they are one of those rare couples that can agree to an open marriage. But why would they? From the little I know of that kind of thing, it actually requires an unusually GOOD relationship with one's spouse, where both partners agree together to go outside the marriage for some spice.

Someone is getting the short end of this stick. Probably the kids, in the end.

[IndiReloaded]

She said she couldn't stand being in the same room with me. Her skin crawled when I touched her. Then she moved her mother in law into our apartment. Then she and her mother secretly removed my name from the lease and replaced it with her mother's. When I found the amended lease tucked away in the closet, I moved out that same day.

This sounds horrible. Then again, you married this gal. Which says to me you found her reasonable at some point in time.

Which leads me to think of that old saying: nothing happens in a vacuum. I wonder why she felt it necessary to do these things?

[misombra]

you're a dick and she's trying to get rid of you.

[Tbrowne]

If you and your wife can manage to be nice to one another, I agree that it is better for your kids that you stay married. If either of you walk around moping or feeling sorry for yourself, or are hostile, then naturally it would be better to separate.

Why did you make a third kid if you were so unhappy?

BTW - your avatar made me think you were female.

I agree with vashti on this one, atleast until your kids grow up if its possible..but its not worth it if you guys are going to be miserable.

[carl1222]

Where did the 1 year old come from? He/she doesn't seem to fit your time line. Is it yours? Are you sure?

Carl

[Mish]

Where did the 1 year old come from? He/she doesn't seem to fit your time line. Is it yours? Are you sure?

Carl

Yeh, that's a good question Carl. I'd like to know as well.

[lesa]

The one year old is not too strange but they are having issues after that time so something is going on.

Hmmm, birth of a child not too long ago AND the 7 year itch syndrome....interesting.

[doppelgaenger]

Just be there for the kids, man. Make sure they grow up right, no matter what happens between you and your wife.

As for the wife...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dBu5X3TvNw"]YouTube - Alice.Deejay.-.[Better.Off.Alone][/ame]

she really sounds unpromising.