i want her back

[stokefan]

hi my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago and i want her back
we had a child 2 months ago, and during her pregnancy i wasnt very nice to her(i felt like i had the world on my shoulders, worried that i couldnt support them both etc) i never laid a finger on her but she said i was short with her, shouted at her etc, i worked away a lot to get more money etc and she felt lonely in the house on her own, she has broke up with me a few times and each time i have said i will change, now i really mean it she doesnt believe me.
i want her back now, i love her and she says she loves me, but cant take the chance(she now lives on her own so i cant see what risk she is taking, as at first we wont be in each others pockets like before). please help i want my family back

[Cybernaught]

I don't have a family, but I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend moved back home a few months ago and ever since we've been drifting apart. She spent less time to me and didn't care. Then she started talking with other people. We got in a fight and we broke up.

I made a few mistakes in our relationship, ones she hasn't forgiven me for, it seems. We never talked, and when we did she says I'd turn it around on her.

All I can suggest is that you try to work it out. If not, hopefully you still get to see your child and can move on from there.

[stokefan]

we are going to get things sorted over the kid, but i want her too, i have made mistakes, she wont let go of them, and she has made some although not as many as me, i love her, im stuck in a hole and cant get out of it

[The Godfather]

Going through someone very similar as well, except it's a divorce. One thing I'll tell you is first priority is your child. You seem to be doing fine with that, I just wanted to make that clear.

Now dealing with your ex... my ex wife says she loves me every time we see each other. However much like yours, she says she "can't take the chance."

Unfortunately, the types of separation we are experiencing, are not ones easily fixable. I hate to say it, but the best thing to do, may be to give her the space she wants, and try and show what a good father, and overall person you can be. Work on making yourself be the best person you can be.

[Cybernaught]

I've made stupid mistakes too. I hurt her bad, and she hurt me. But it's something you learn from. Part of me just wants to start over again in a brand new relationship with the knowledge I have now. Our relationship helped me to mature, so I suppose it had its benefits.

I think you should just let it go for now. Maybe she will call and text you. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you don't want to come off too attached. It drives them away. If you make them want to come to you, then you're on the right path.

[stokefan]

Going through someone very similar as well, except it's a divorce. One thing I'll tell you is first priority is your child. You seem to be doing fine with that, I just wanted to make that clear.

Now dealing with your ex... my ex wife says she loves me every time we see each other. However much like yours, she says she "can't take the chance."

Unfortunately, the types of separation we are experiencing, are not ones easily fixable. I hate to say it, but the best thing to do, may be to give her the space she wants, and try and show what a good father, and overall person you can be. Work on making yourself be the best person you can be.

i would give her that space but im worried about her going with someone else! is that normal??

i just want her to be mine again

[vashti]

Good lord. She just had a baby! I HOPE she isn't thinking of dating anyone else yet.

You have an advantage in that you are both connected through the baby, so she is going to HAVE to see you. I don't know what you did exactly, but it must have been pretty bad for a new mom to think that being alone is better than being with you, so I suggest you devote yourself entirely to showing her you are a changed young man. Don't go off pouting if it doesn't work in a month or two - just keep at it. Be around with the baby in all your free time, and be involved, thoughtful and sweet. If she sees you have changed over the long haul, she will probably reconsider dumping you.

[stokefan]

Good lord. She just had a baby! I HOPE she isn't thinking of dating anyone else yet.

You have an advantage in that you are both connected through the baby, so she is going to HAVE to see you. I don't know what you did exactly, but it must have been pretty bad for a new mom to think that being alone is better than being with you, so I suggest you devote yourself entirely to showing her you are a changed young man. Don't go off pouting if it doesn't work in a month or two - just keep at it. Be around with the baby in all your free time, and be involved, thoughtful and sweet. If she sees you have changed over the long haul, she will probably reconsider dumping you.

it was over a long time, i spoke to her nasty etc, her mum has hated me and every other man she has had(her mum is on her own too)for a long time and i think she has finally got to my ex

i think she may have one night stands to try and get over me, dont know for sure though, i just worry alot

i have told her we start dating again and take it slow but she says she needs to see i have changed(dont understand how she can seee that if we aint going together). i just want to try and be a family i have told her if i mess up again i understand it will be over etc. bt she still says the same

[The Godfather]

i would give her that space but im worried about her going with someone else! is that normal??

i just want her to be mine again

She may do that... I hope not, but she might. The truth is, however, that being too desperate to get her back will make it more likely that she won't come back

[stokefan]

also we speak on the phone everyday, she rings me and i ring her, which i find wierd too

[stokefan]

anyone else have any advice?

[smplguy24]

I think you need to really just talk about it with her. Sit down and talk it out. Explain what happened and how you really feel. You must have had some kind of connection to have a baby and a long relationship. You both have the right to be upset at one another, but communication is key. Don't yell at her, that's going to get you no where. I know you are tired from working so much, but she has been taking care of the kid, so you are both doing major things!

Remember - A simple smile and a "thanks" goes a long way.