Jealousy

[habubbles]

ok, so i am a jealous guy, i hate seeing my gf dancing with a total stranger, i hate it when she comes home and tells met hat she danced with other guys. sometimes i thnk she does it to piss me off, she nows i am a jealous guy. is their anyway that i can somehow control this jealousy, something like luke skywaker ( use the force) kinda shit. is their somhow how i can become less jealous?? and why is it that girls hate guys who are jealous?? they should be happy! it actually shows that we care about them.

anyways someone help!! please!!

[glow]

you can shut up about it because you know it's this feeling and it's pretty irrational.
even if she was coming home and telling you just to piss you off, she's still telling you.
and when you think about the meaning of the word jealous, people often in relationships feel it's jealous that someone else has what's theres but i think a lot of the time it as to do with someone getting to do something you don't feel you yourself are able to do. i'm sorry if that wasn't too coherent guys.

[doppelgaenger]

Well no shit, Glow. A relationship is supposed to be BUILT on honesty. Not only that, but communication. Habubble's girlfriend should respect him by not dancing with other guys, since that makes him feel uncomfortable. It's a decent request.

Assuming she's done this more than once, what you should do, Habubbles, is talk to your girlfriend, or dump her. She is being dishonest and disrespectful to you, and that's not healthy for any relationship.

[Mish]

ok, so i am a jealous guy, i hate seeing my gf dancing with a total stranger, i hate it when she comes home and tells met hat she danced with other guys.

There is dancing and there is grinding a lot depends on what's actually going on. Your jealousy can either be justified or not justified, though in either case it's doing you damage.

and why is it that girls hate guys who are jealous?? they should be happy! it actually shows that we care about them.

It's most likely for reasons such as these:

sometimes i thnk she does it to piss me off, she nows i am a jealous guy.

That's totally unacceptable from you and wrong. Just because you are jealous and controlling it doesn't mean you have some kind of rights over her. At the end of the day she can do whatever she wants and you can't stop her. The more you try to squeeze her the more likely she will resist you or break up with you. Jealousy doesn't = caring. If you care for her, then you will trust her and let her do her own thing.

is their anyway that i can somehow control this jealousy, something like luke skywaker ( use the force) kinda shit. is their somhow how i can become less jealous??

Well, it shows a lack of trust and fear of being hurt. You are being your own enemy and you are more likely to get hurt of your own design. To be less jealous for you would mean to trust your gf more and to be less fearful about the ifs.

Though, like I mentioned before her action can be justified and not justified. If she goes out and dances with her friends and just has a good time with them you clearly are over reacting and you should control your emotions with simple trust. If she goes out and lets other guys to grind all over her and she likes it then you have to ask yourself if you're with the right person.

[Aeradalia]

ok, so i am a jealous guy, i hate seeing my gf dancing with a total stranger, i hate it when she comes home and tells met hat she danced with other guys. sometimes i thnk she does it to piss me off, she nows i am a jealous guy. is their anyway that i can somehow control this jealousy, something like luke skywaker ( use the force) kinda shit. is their somhow how i can become less jealous?? and why is it that girls hate guys who are jealous?? they should be happy! it actually shows that we care about them.

anyways someone help!! please!!

Jealousy leads to control and control stems from fear. This fear is of losing her and the fear of being alone. You may have had bad experiences in the past or you may just be insecure for unrelated reasons to love, relationships....etc. In either case you have to realize that the only thing you have any control over in a relationship is yourself. You can make requests of your girlfriend, but ultimately she's in control of her own actions.

A relationship is a gamble and a balancing act all in one. Sometimes you do good in that they really love you and you can keep them happy and yourself all at the same time. Other times you lose, in that they don't love you anymore or never did, and you can't keep them happy and yourself at the same time --- or neither happy at all. These are the risks you take when you enter into a relationship... you risk losing them and breaking your heart. If you're not willing to gamble then a relationship may not be something you should partake in.

You will have to learn to trust her... that's the only way to really get rid of jealousy. If you trust her to do the right thing... come home to you and remain faithful... then what is there to be jealous about?

[Illusional]

why don't YOU go dance with other girls??

raverboy

[lovesjoyajm]

why don't YOU go dance with other girls??

raverboy

Don't take the "if she can do it, I can do it" route. First of all, it's immature, and second of all, she might legitimately NOT CARE if you dance with other girls (especially if she doesn't see any problem with what she's doing...) and then you've accomplished nothing except being a hypocrite.

[habubbles]

Well i asked her if she would have a problem with me dancing with other girls, and how it would make her feel. i've asked her numerous times, yet she avoids the question, and keeps changing the subject.

[vashti]

There is nothing inherently wrong with dancing with other people (assuming she is simply dancing, which I assume it is since you said you hate *seeing* it). The fact that you expect her to stop is controlling, not caring. Your being jealous isn't going to prevent her from cheating if she is the type to cheat, and if she isn't the type to cheat, your jealousy may only push her into breaking up with you. I think that only time will cure you (assuming you don't drive her away). In the meantime, you should really understand that just because YOU are dealing with uncomfortable emotions doesn't mean SHE should have to deal with them. I'd learn to keep this to yourself, or risk looking like a psycho.

[Medado]

I honestly don't think trying to get someone jealous for attention is a good thing.

Girls do like attention, yes. Some a little too much. They love the jealousy thing, too.

They like to know the guy cares and some of them take it too far. They either get into constant arguments or flirt with other guys and whatever whatever just to have a rouse out of him to make them feel more needed or important.

I think it's stupid. So do you.

Tell her about it.

And if she won't stop it even after you told her you don't like it, she probably isn't too worth the stress.

But it might also be that you don't give her enough attention or let her know you care enough. Might that be it?

[habubbles]

i give her plenty of attention. i'm like one of the sweetest guys out their. i bring her fresh flowers every week for her, i send her morning text messages, i make her dinner once in awhile. and whenever i make her dinner, i usualy write with the food " i love you" or i draw a heart out of the food.i take her places, i buy her jewellery. the list keeps goin on. like if i need to make her feel more wanted or special, i dont now whatelese to do.

[carl1222]

Jealousy leads to control and control stems from fear. This fear is of losing her and the fear of being alone. You may have had bad experiences in the past or you may just be insecure for unrelated reasons to love, relationships....etc. In either case you have to realize that the only thing you have any control over in a relationship is yourself. You can make requests of your girlfriend, but ultimately she's in control of her own actions.

A relationship is a gamble and a balancing act all in one. Sometimes you do good in that they really love you and you can keep them happy and yourself all at the same time. Other times you lose, in that they don't love you anymore or never did, and you can't keep them happy and yourself at the same time --- or neither happy at all. These are the risks you take when you enter into a relationship... you risk losing them and breaking your heart. If you're not willing to gamble then a relationship may not be something you should partake in.

You will have to learn to trust her... that's the only way to really get rid of jealousy. If you trust her to do the right thing... come home to you and remain faithful... then what is there to be jealous about?

True, but if she is deliberately egging him on knowing his jealous nature, then she is as wrong too.

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

True, but if she is deliberately egging him on knowing his jealous nature, then she is as wrong too.

Carl.

Certainly sounds that way Carl...

Talk to her about this in a civilized manner. Tell her that jealousy aside... it's not fair to play with people's emotions, especially those of the one she loves. If she feels that you don't love her enough or appreciate her, ask her what you can do to help... rather than her use your jealous nature to get attention. If she wants to feel loved... all she has to do is ask. No need for games.