Things that make a guy feel special?

[LC897]

Hi everyone,

Lately I've been a bit hot-cold with my boyfriend because of some hurtful thing he did a couple weeks ago. Since then, I've over analyzing our relationship and finding faults about him to convince myself to breakup with him. I think he senses this and is starting to feel like I don't appreciate him. I think he feels like I don't care, and I'm irritated by him, that he disappoints me, and that I'm very guarded. We were so happy to begin with until the "event". I really want to move past this now and start new. I just hope it is not too late. I realize I have to chuck my insecurities out the window and go with the flow.

Anyhow, I want to make him feel special and appreciated. What are some things that makes guys feel special? I always feel a bit awkward with sentimental gestures because it makes me feel corny, but I'm willing to do it for him. I'm ready to forgive him. I just hope its not to late because I think he is resentful towards me for being so hot and cold and passive-aggressive with him. So, what can I do to show him that I have forgiven him?

[carl1222]

OK ... if you are interested in any real useful help, you are going to have to give up what the "event" was to us. And why you feel he needs to to be forgiven.

I won't give any advice on such sketchy details.

Carl.

[LC897]

He basically emotionally cheated on me. He needed a break to figure out his feelings for his ex-girlfriend, while keeping me in limbo. He basically used me as his rebound and need to take time off to figure out his feelings for me and her. In the beginning I was somewhat guarded, but he kept saying that he was completely over her and wanted to be with me, then I finally let go. Then all of a sudden, he freaked out on me and said he needed a break to figure out his feelings for her and me. He kept in contact with her and had emotional outbursts with me. I made me feel completely used and a just a replacement. I felt like I was lied to and my feelings completely manipulated. Up until this point, I've been nothing more than a great gf. I was completely support of him and there when he needed it. So, after the break I took him back, but I feel like he wants me to trust him again right away. He said this freak out will not ever happen again. Although, he said he is not completely over his ex yet, but does not want to lose me because this is the best relationship he has ever had. Hence, the hot and cold behavior from me. I am ready now to move on with this and start trusting him again.

[Cbrider]

My ex GF did something similar to me. 2 Months into the relationship she tells me she has a crush on this guy from work and says she needs time to sort her feelings out. She comes to me the next day very saddened and apologizes and we make amends and move on with our relationship. Another month down the road and she tells me that I need to return the stuff I bought her for her birthday as I give it to her b/c she likes this other guy. Furious I simple turn on my heel and walk out. I find out they go see a movie, kiss, blah, blah. She comes to me a week later a total train wreck and visibly fitting the same description. I take her back and we go on for another two months. I finally got to the point I was so unhappy I would lay in bed with her awake all night because of it. She refused to stop communication with this guy so I just broke the ties for her. Its been three months and I haven't said a word to her, shes tried to talk with me but I just shut her down.

I don't trust this guy, I don't know if you're like me and just afraid to let go, but this sounds like heartbreak.

[IndiReloaded]

Hey LC. They don't call them rebounds for nothing. Your guy doesn't sound like he's over his ex, I wouldn't appreciate that either.

How long has this been going on? Weeks? Months? Based on your post, I think your only choice is to demand he go NC with her or break up w/him. I don't see this getting any better otherwise, your passive-aggressive feelings are b/c you KNOW this situation sucks. I wouldn't ignore those feelings, they are telling you something important.

Don't be the PlanB girl, its a shitty place to be. This means nothing about how great a GF you are, btw, I'm sure you are. He just can't appreciate it, it would seem.

[LC897]

Its been going on for a couple weeks now. There are days that I feel great about us and then there are days I don't. He is also kind of moody sometimes which plays into my insecurity. I'm left wondering if he is going to freak out on me again b/c of his moodness. So, there are days where I'm torn about staying with him, but we do a lot of fun together. Maybe I'm thinking to far ahead? I know he isn't over his ex but there were together for a long time. He says that they are not communicating anymore, but I'm not quite sure I completely believe him. I think he doesn't want to hurt me by telling me they are communicating. I have told him that I don't want him communicating with her, but I'm not with him 24/7. I know his ex is going to try again and again. He swears up and down that they are done. He would never go back to her. I feel like I should give this a chance. He is constantly saying that I'm looking for signs of a breakup and maybe I am. Am I just self-sabotaging myself? I think we could be happy if I let go. I guess its easier to hold on to resentment and hurt. I dunno...
Thanks everyone for any opinions and responses!

[The Godfather]

Hey LC. They don't call them rebounds for nothing. Your guy doesn't sound like he's over his ex, I wouldn't appreciate that either.

How long has this been going on? Weeks? Months? Based on your post, I think your only choice is to demand he go NC with her or break up w/him. I don't see this getting any better otherwise, your passive-aggressive feelings are b/c you KNOW this situation sucks. I wouldn't ignore those feelings, they are telling you something important.

Don't be the PlanB girl, its a shitty place to be. This means nothing about how great a GF you are, btw, I'm sure you are. He just can't appreciate it, it would seem.

^ this. Don't be a backup for anybody. It never ends well. You deserve better than that.

[daysofthenew]

I second The Godfather. You deserve better than to be number two for someone who is clearly not ready to put you first. If you stay in the relationship, you are eventually going to feel like you are bailing water from a sinking boat with spoon.

[TheGreek]

I'm with the rest of the crew.

[carl1222]

I'll add my agreement if it helps.

He has NO business in a new relationship unless his heart is out of the old one.

Cut him flat cold ... and tell him maybe (no guarantees) if he comes to you in six months, and if you're still free, you might consider trying again. Then completely shut him down until next June.

Carl.

[lastwish]

You did nothing wrong...your coldness is a natural response to the hurt he put you through. It's unfair that he used you as a rebound. You do not need to apologize by making him feel special. HE should be doing that, not you.

[DoesntMatter]

I think guys feel special when they are having their penises sucked. I would at least

[Gribble]

I think guys feel special when they are having their penises sucked. I would at least

This is exactly what I thought when I read the title.

[1averagejoe]

This is exactly what I thought when I read the title.

Funny so did I...nothing like a good BJ.