My girlfriend moved... Are we still in a relationship?

[MisterFlapJack]

We were "officially" going out for about 2 weeks when she had to move 4 hours away. The thing is, there was a strong bond between us. We both loved each other a lot and could see us spending our life together. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other before we really started dating, so when it finally got to that point, love came easily.

• We're about 250 miles apart right now
• We're both seniors in high school
• She moved 1 month ago
• We still talk on the phone every couple of days (she's been busy moving and getting settled)
• We still say "I love you" on the phone
• We never actually broke up
• Honesty was big in our relationship. We promised each other we wouldn't lie to each other even before we starting going out.
• We've never argued (even before we started 'going out'). We've disagreed, but we know how to settle it.

The reason I ask this is because she told me this in a text shortly after she left. "...Never settle for anything less then perfect" (referring to meeting a new girl)

Neither of us wanted the relationship to end, but I'm not sure how she feels now after having 250 miles between us. I am willing to attempt a long distance relationship if she is. What would be the best way to ask her if we are still together or if she wants to try a long distance relationshjp? Every way I think of asking sounds awkward.

Thanks in advance.

[Gigabitch]

Um, as clearly as possible, that's what the best way would be.

Look, LDRs don't work for people who have problems communicating. You need to step up your game on this about 200% if you want to make it work.

Write her an email (so she can re-read it when feeling insecure about the relationship) and tell her exactly how you feel, then lay out a solid, workable plan for how you can see each other sometimes (like a spring break plan, etc.). Do not leave anything to chance.

[MisterFlapJack]

Um, as clearly as possible, that's what the best way would be.

Look, LDRs don't work for people who have problems communicating. You need to step up your game on this about 200% if you want to make it work.

Write her an email (so she can re-read it when feeling insecure about the relationship) and tell her exactly how you feel, then lay out a solid, workable plan for how you can see each other sometimes (like a spring break plan, etc.). Do not leave anything to chance.

There's some complications with communicating right now.

1. Her phone broke just before she left (she calls me from her brother's or mother's phone)
2. They don't have internet so there is no e-mail/myspace communication

My only option is old-fashioned mail. I sent her a letter with a drawing I made for her yesterday (we used to draw each other pictures while she was here). I'm going to continue writing/drawing to her even when she gets a new phone/internet so she can always remember me. Also, I might go visit her during our winter vacation.

I still want to find out if we're still in a relationship, but I don't know how to bring it up or how to ask. I think when we talk on the phone she wonders the same thing, but neither of us have brought it up yet.

[sashna]

Get her to buy a new phone!
Except for that, speak to her on the phone - in my experience with relationships it is the easiest and clearest way to discuss anything. It means you can ask what u want, how u want, without any confusion over how u meant a question or anything if it was written. Girls often have a tendancy to over-analyse things!!
So just ask her - clearly and to the point. Then you'll know.
Good luck - I hope it works out!
xxx

[carl1222]

Just say "I was confused by your text message '... Never settle for anything less then perfect' because it sort of implied that you were expecting me to be looking for someone else. Are we still together?"

I agree with the posters above on the very dismal chance that your relationship will last, but that's not what you asked us.

Goood luck,
Carl.

[MisterFlapJack]

Get her to buy a new phone!
Except for that, speak to her on the phone - in my experience with relationships it is the easiest and clearest way to discuss anything. It means you can ask what u want, how u want, without any confusion over how u meant a question or anything if it was written. Girls often have a tendancy to over-analyse things!!
So just ask her - clearly and to the point. Then you'll know.
Good luck - I hope it works out!
xxx

Thanks, but I just don't know how to bring it up since both of us have avoided talking about it. I feel like I'm asking her out all over again. You know that feeling where you don't know exactly how to ask and you're scared she's going to say no.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to bring it up or how to ask? I'm really nervous about this because I don't know what she thinks of a long distance relationship.

[doppelgaenger]

Tell her whatever comes from your heart. If you want to try to make it work, if you think 250 miles is a short distance, tell her man. Tell her how you feel.

That's all you can do. Hopefully she'll be willing to try it. LDRs are very hard, and will only last if you'll be temporarily separated by distance (for example, the rest of the school year would be fine, but you'd have to go to the same college, or one close to her, in order to make it work)

Best of luck