I work, why can't i come home and watch tv all night?

[ecojeanne]

i dunno, seriously, how often is there that much to do? maybe every second or third day there would be garbage...what else are we talkin about here? i mean whoever is home first has a shorter day and therefore has time to cook a meal, again you can take turns with that or whatever, one might be terrible at cooking (on purpose like my mother...she's a clever woman), i'm certainly no domestic goddess but i will get a cleaner if i have the funds to get the tough cleaning like toilets vacuuming and mopping...thats the hard stuff done, now just chill

[CompletePimp]

Lahrell: Yeah that's not fair. But for those who work MORE, considerably, theres nothing wrong with my argument. I support independent and hard working women too, hell my girlfriend IS one. But this isnt a male/female issue, this is just a consideration issue. I don't expect my woman to cook for me, she does, and I cook for her too. We both work equal hours (not living together) and we both do things for each other equally.

[Gribble]

This is a stupid, lazy man's argument. There aren't any kids around, so they should each be responsible for cleaning up after themselves. If he has a problem with her not contributing more financially to the relationship, he should tell her, and quit expecting that he bought himself a maid.

There aren't any kids around so she has plenty of time to take care of the house while he's working. Maybe if he weren't taking care of a dependent or if she'd put in 40 hours a week he actually could afford a maid.

[vashti]

There aren't any kids around so she has plenty of time to take care of the house while he's working. Maybe if he weren't taking care of a dependent or if she'd put in 40 hours a week he actually could afford a maid.

Fine, as I said: if his real issue is that he wants her to work and contribute more, then he should say so. She isn't his servant.

I'd sure like to hear her side. I bet she has another story to tell.

[CompletePimp]

Always seems like any sort of relationship deboggle, the women will always make it a gender issue and take the woman's side, not a PERSON TO PERSON ISSUE. sigh...

[ecojeanne]

So when I come home, why does my fiance gripe about shit like the garbage, dishes... etc. In any other type of situation, I would have a valid complaint. However, every girl I seem to ask says that the guy should come home and work... I don't get it?

get a machine dishwasher! its more eco friendly anyway. that will solve at least one of your problems, tbh vashti i didn't get the impression that he was looking for a servant, my first thought was he came on here to vent after he got an earful from his fiance.

who knows what the real situation is but i do know that some people go ott with the constant cleaning and complaining - my mother being one. god is she annoying and she moves everything when she comes to my house to visit! i've always had the attitude that nothing needs to be cleaned EVERY single day, just a quick 5 min clean maybe every second day. anyway life shouldn't be this hard in fairness. i think some people need to relax a bit more.

[vashti]

Always seems like any sort of relationship deboggle, the women will always make it a gender issue and take the woman's side, not a PERSON TO PERSON ISSUE. sigh...

Oh, stop whining. If you actually believe that, you haven't read many posts by either giga or myself. Quit acting like the males are being picked on because we don't agree with you.

[carl1222]

Fine, as I said: if his real issue is that he wants her to work and contribute more, then he should say so. She isn't his servant.

But isn't that what he IS asking, vashti ... that she stop complaining because he wants time to unwind after a long work-day and she "needs" him to do a few routine household chores? This indeed has become a gender issue here instead of a fairness issue ... doing household chores is work just like going to a job, yet it seems that you and some of the women here think it's somehow demeaning and servile. Work is work, and in a good relationship, it is shared evenly in all its forms! I think we all are forgetting that he spends 2/3 of his waking hours being a servant ... to his boss.

Carl.

[bluesummer]

I would be annoyed with a man that spent all his time working and then came home and just wanted to be fed and left alone to watch tv all night.

No wonder she nags him ,she probably wants some freakin' attention and this is the only way she can get it.

[misombra]

I repectfully disagree with most of your post, Giga.

It's had to imagine that an intelligent grown woman wouldn't know that when he spends 55 hours a week away from home working/commuting he isn't just "gone all the time leaving her with the shit work."

Sure, taking care of the house is both of their responsibility, but his work is part of taking care of the house as well! I think you're asking for the best part of the modern (equality of household chores) and the traditional (the man is expected to be the breadwinner).

I have a radical idea ... maybe she should up her work schedule from 15 hours to 25 hours a week so SHE can pay for the cleaning lady!

Carl.

everybody has to clean. wtf? get off your lazy ass and do something. you just go home and sit there like ****ing jaba the hut? what a boring lazy person you are. i can see a little destressing but then it's time to do shit!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

What I'm getting from this guy is that he is saying since I make the most money I shouldnt be obligated to do anything else, which is bogus. I'd understand if she were sitting at home doing nothing all day, but she's in school. I'm sure school is taking a toll on her as well. You guys are saying she should take into consideration that he's working so much hours. I'd really like to know his job cuz for all we know he's probably sitting his ass in a office anyway. Regardless, it should be a fair share of work in the house. Even if she has more work to do, he still should have to do something. Whether it's something as simple as taking the trash out or whatever.

[carl1222]

I'm checking out of this thread because it seems that the women posting here are intractable and closed minded on the point. I am truly disappointed because I don't want to believe so many women here are so selfish!

It's not about being treated like a servant, it's not about who makes the money, it's not about who does the shit work, and it's certainly not about what's best for a healthy relationship. And yes, i agree that vegging in front of a TV is not healthy either, but that's outside the scope of this thread.

A relationship should be about sharing the work and the responsibility! Yet all I am hearing is women challenging (without any basis) that he should cut her some slack because she spends 5 hours a week on her school work (sure, he may be lying, but why are you assuming that?) I am also hearing that a long-hour hard-working man is wrong because he is not willing to make a token effort to do stuff at home. Does she come to his job and help him?

I'm truly disillusioned by the comments in favor of a whiny woman who does half as much as he does and complains. Shame on you!

Carl.

[misombra]

she's working part time and working on her masters degree.

that is work. plus we haven't heard her side of things. having a "partner" that sits all afternoon and wants to be waited on is full of shit. go to thailand or something.

[carl1222]

she's working part time and working on her masters degree.

that is work. plus we haven't heard her side of things. having a "partner" that sits all afternoon and wants to be waited on is full of shit. go to thailand or something.

OK, one last time ...

Yes, it's work ... 20 hours vs. 55 hours!

We never hear both sides of a story here, but I wonder why you are so quick to assume his side is false when you are willing to take so many threads on here at face value?

We also don't know what he does for a living, but why are you discounting his contribution even if he does sit all afternoon ... why do you devalue his contribution that way?

Yes, getting a master's degree is tough ... but writing a thesis is not grueling because you have soooo long to do it. He says she puts an hour a day into it ... why do you disbelieve that?

I think it's probably because unless you think he is at a cushy "mattress tester" job and is lying about her workload, her position is indefensible!

I don't even know what you mean by your Thailand comment ... are you suggesting that he is treating her like a slave???

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

I will kindly sit this one out too... I've offered my advice on what I thought was fair based on what the OP stated, nothing more...

There isn't any more I can contribute to this post.

To the OP, I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you...