4 years and no respect

[babycakes11]

I have been with my bf for 4 years now. This year he moved in with me into my house, bills me he just buys the food.. I have always looked after him and made sure he has everything he needs.

He lived with his nan before he met me and i feel he is just use to having a slave. I wrk full time 6 days a week, he wrks also. we recently brought items together and i got rid of mine tv etc. we have been rowing on and off for about 3-4months now and its not because he just moved in, as he was always at mine from day one, only didnt have responsibility ie buying food etc.

last night we had yet another row, it resulted in me telling him to get out, ive always done this, but he has always got his nans to run to, i know i should not say the words get out, but he drives me so mad i feel i need him to go, i have had a rough childhood, left home when i was 17 now 33 i just want to find a man who cares for me and supports my choices.

This row was over him wanting to go out with the lads, all i said was that i have booked time off during that weekend, thought we could have a long weekend together, we dont go out together he tells me he cant go out with me due to us ending up in a row, his reason this time was I see you everyday why the hell would i want to have a long weekend.

I feel my life with him is just work home and never anything to look forward to, my nice nights go as far as i bottle off wine in the house. Am i such bad company that he cant go out with me? just his friends, yeah he dont see them very often because we both wrk hard but that dont mean we cant do things and make nice plans together.

why do i feel im always at fault, he always says its you, you kick me out. you cant tell me what to do. i thought couples did things together not just plan nights out apart and never go out unless its a family event, me out with my mates, him out with his, in between just live together. Am i asking for too much?

pls help:

[vashti]

When you share living arrangements, you automatically have more time together (even if it is only sleeping). For some people, this takes away the incentive to go out together. Maybe if he doesn't live with you, he will be more interested in spending time with you.

Besides, it doesn't sound like he is even pulling his own weight. Why should you WANT him to live there?

[carl1222]

It sounds like he's always had a woman take care of him (he was still at home at 30??) and simply expects you to take over where his nan left off. He has developed into a very selfish man, and you deserve better from him.

BUT I also think throwing him out of the house over and over again is an extremely poor way to resolve arguments.

Carl.

[babycakes11]

Yes he lived with his nan until he was 32 she did everything for him, even brought the food, bills etc. he thinks i ask for too much when i expect him to buy food and drink. What would you do just put up with abuse and let him stay? i only say get out when he drives me so mad.. cant help it

[carl1222]

Yes he lived with his nan until he was 32 she did everything for him, even brought the food, bills etc. he thinks i ask for too much when i expect him to buy food and drink. What would you do just put up with abuse and let him stay? i only say get out when he drives me so mad.. cant help it

I agree you are in a tough spot, and you shouldn't have to take that much abuse. If you really feel that you can't be around him and need him to leave, then throw him out ... for a week. If that doesn't stop the abuse, then throw him out again... for a month. If it still doesn't stop, then throw him out ... forever!

You're either living together or your not. It seemed to me that the "throwing out" part has become a destructive pattern in your arguments.

Carl.

[Gigabitch]

He sounds like a loser to me. I can't imagine what you're thinking, keeping him around. Look at it this way- the right man for you is out there, somewhere, waiting to meet you and this chucklehead is standing in the way.

Chuck him.

[Indignant]

He sounds like a loser to me. I can't imagine what you're thinking, keeping him around. Look at it this way- the right man for you is out there, somewhere, waiting to meet you and this chucklehead is standing in the way.

Chuck him.

i disagree. we only heard one side of the story. i have a feeling that there are other issues involved.

[ButterflyDreamz]

I gotta say I agree with Gigabitch. From the sounds of it he's manipulating and using you. You're not his mum - you shouldn't have to put up with his crap. When you stop looking forward to going back home to see him - what's the point in staying with him?
I'm sure you can find someone much better than him! Stop wasting your time with him!