My new bf hates my Ex

[SaraC]

Im Sara, Im 21. My ex husband and I got married when we were 18 and I gave birth to our daughter and then I found out he was constantly cheating on me and we realized we got married to young and that the best thing was to get divorced and we have been divorced for over a year now. but we raise our daughter together and have managed to stay friends. Like all of my friends, there are things I don't like about him, but things I still enjoy. I have no desire to be with him again romantically. His girlfriend and I are good friends too. The problem is my boyfriend of 1 year and is really sweet and caring to me, hates the fact that we are all friendly. I have no desire for us all to be best friends, but I don't see the harm in being social occasionally. The ex and I still l have common friends b/c we all work in the modeling field. My boyfriend gets angry whenever the subject comes up. I'm getting frustrated and angry myself because I feel my boyfriend is being childish. He has a large close family and we spend a lot of time with them and I enjoy that. My family and friends live farther away, and we see them occasionally. He's polite to them, but I feel like he expects our life to revolve around his family and my friends don't matter. I can handle the fact that he doesn't go out of his way to be sociable with my friends (he is shy), but think it's ridiculous that he's so threatened by my ex husband that he gets angry about it. Am I being unreasonable?

[vashti]

I don't think you should cut your boyfriend much slack. You are the parent of a child, and your ex-husband is the father. Therefore, he is never going away, nor should you want him to. Obviously it is better for your daughter to be on good terms with the ex. His family is HER family.

i think you should lay out your boundaries and stick to them. Many young people your age have issues with unreasonable jealousy, and their significant others jump through hoops trying to reassure them. i don't think you should do this. If he can't handle ex-husbands, he is not ready for a relationship with a young mother, and you should cut him loose.

[Indignant]

i also think that you should consider the fact that he is a new man in your life, and as you said shy. is he making you happy? is he good to the child? if he there for good? if yes, then you should jump through the hoops to make him comfortable and to make his adjustment less painful.

[TheGreek]

Reassure him that you have NO romantic ties to your ex-husband in any way, shape, or form. But then, as vashti said, your boyfriend needs to realize that your ex-husband is not going anywhere.

[Gribble]

Your child is what matters most, not this new boyfriend. And what your child really needs are parents who, though separate, get along well together. This new fella needs to accept that or he needs to find a woman who has no children. That's all there is to it.

[SaraC]

he does make me happy, and treats my daughter great, he does need to see that my daughter will come first and that my ex is her father and wont go away.

[damn2008]

He is a little insecure because of the ties you share with your ex-...you have a young daughter together and that will always keep you and your ex- connected in that way.

If you are happy with your current b/f and he's what you're looking for then I would do things to reassure him that there is nothing between your ex- and you...and it is that which is making him slightly nervous and insecure...especially granted your history with your ex-.

In terms of his shyness, he might still need to work on being comfortable around your friends...and since you and your ex- share the same group of friends it can be tough for him to come in and try to "fit in", especially considering some of your friends might be closer to your ex- than they will ever be to your new b/f...but as friends, they should respect you and respect your choices. Perhaps you should try encouraging some of your friends to interact with him (if they haven't already) to try and bring him out of his shell.