Help with recent break up

[jmn45]

Ok, so my ex makes absolutely no sense. She just dumped me last week out of nowhere, when the week before she told me she loved me. We had been dating for 8 months without a single argument or problem, and all of a sudden she thinks we "would be better as friends". I hate that line so much. I need some insight on to WHY this even happened in the first place. And no, im not bad at reading signs so there really were not any major problems. It was a ridiculously healthy relationship and now its gone. I went to her house today and she said she was confused and that shes leaving the relationship as a possibility, but I don't wanna wait forever, I'm on and off depressed and to be like this for say months would suck. Any help, suggestions, insight, etc? I want to get her back if possible..

[carl1222]

Hi JMN,

Sorry for your problem.

You are right, it doesn't make sense. You don't mention your age but I am assuming by how you reason and write that you two are at least in your 20s.

It is simply not normal behavior to friend-zone a boyfriend out of the blue eight months into a well-functioning relationship! If she had lost interest in you romantically, there would have been a gradual decline in the quality, intimacy and closeness of your relationship. Also, she wouldn't have left the door open for a reconciliation. Assuming your perception of how things were going is accurate, I can only conclude that something must have happened the week before last to make her question her commitment to the relationship.

My best guess because it's the only thing that fits the pattern here is that she probably met someone else who she's strongly attracted to, doesn't want to cheat on you but wants to have you as a fall-back in case things don't work out.

I hope I'm wrong, but it's the only thing I can think of that would explain such an abrupt change of heart.

Good luck

Carl.

[Mr.Bagel]

I know this may sound abusrd... but maybe that the relationship was "too healthy", meaning that it was too peaceful and supportive that made you ended up on the friends ladder...

[Cain]

Ok, so my ex makes absolutely no sense. She just dumped me last week out of nowhere, when the week before she told me she loved me. We had been dating for 8 months without a single argument or problem, and all of a sudden she thinks we "would be better as friends". I hate that line so much. I need some insight on to WHY this even happened in the first place. And no, im not bad at reading signs so there really were not any major problems. It was a ridiculously healthy relationship and now its gone. I went to her house today and she said she was confused and that shes leaving the relationship as a possibility, but I don't wanna wait forever, I'm on and off depressed and to be like this for say months would suck. Any help, suggestions, insight, etc? I want to get her back if possible..

Pretty similar to mine except for the fact that mine was a little longer and she said that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me two days before we broke up. So, take my advice on this...

...give up on trying to get an answer as to why you both broke up. Because chances are you won't be getting it. If she did what my ex did, she'll likely be with another guy soon. All you can really do right now is wait it out if you really want her back. Though, would it be worth it? If she dates another guy... could you trust her again?

[jmn45]

Actually in a senior in highschool, im 17. And I can tell you that theres no other guy involved because shes a pretty quiet person and i see her everyday so i would notice.

What mr bagel said actually might be a reason.... i can only guess. She doesnt even know why she lost interest and i kind of believe her. she gets random mood swings all the time and she doesnt even know why. half of her emotions are subconscious.

im gonna try and wait it out. In all honesty, Im going to college in like 8 months, so it probably wouldnt have transitioned anyway, but still i really liked her and it pisses me off for her to throw it away so fast