How do you know if your man cheats???

[EmilyLV]

I've been married for 8 years now and 5 years ago I left my husband and when we got back together wee opened up about everything that happened in the past to get over it he told me that he had tried coke and a girl at his friends house tried to get with him but he said no, after he touched her breats and she touched him through his pants, even though she was buck naked outta the shower, I was at work, lucky me. He swore that was it, and I got over it. Then in a fight with his friend he told me that he had sex with other woman, he denined it and said once agian she came on to him and he said no.

Now he wants a threesome not with "sex" just a BJ from 2 girls but I think that it would go to far a ruin us we have 3 kids together and 8 years invested I keep telling him that I not able to do it and that the only way I would ever do it would be when were going to leave each other,

Do you guys think that his a cheater, or just a normal horny guy?

[vashti]

i don't know if he's a cheater or not, but what he is asking for is certainly out of the ordinary. are you going to do it?

[EmilyLV]

I'm scared, really. I was a virgin when I ment my husband and have never ever been with a woman and don't want to look stupid or freak out during or after I really don't even know how to approach a woman to be our third wheel

[vashti]

It doesn't sound like you are interested. Why don't you just tell him to forget about it, it isn't gonna happen?

[EmilyLV]

Because he keeps pushing the issue and talking about during before and after sex and I'm freaking out but he still makes joke about it to like get me okay with it I have a feeling that it's not going to just disapear

[lesa]

Let me guess--porn right? Too much porn has clouded his reasoning of what may be 'normal'.

[1averagejoe]

Ask him if you can have a 3 way with another guy...

[Gribble]

His fantasy is nothing out of the ordinary. I think it's very wrong that he'd present it to you after three children and eight years of marriage, though.

[DoesntMatter]

You know your man cheats if he has sex with other women

[lesa]

His fantasy is nothing out of the ordinary. I think it's very wrong that he'd present it to you after three children and eight years of marriage, though.

No fantasy like that is allowed after eight years of marriage and three children?

[DoesntMatter]

No fantasy like that is allowed after eight years of marriage and three children?

If we were married for 8 years and had 3 children I'd let you have that fantasy lesa

[Gribble]

There's nothing wrong with having that fantasy. However, asking the mother of your three children to engage in a threesome is pretty damn ****ed up.

[lesa]

I just wanted to state that I am genuinely curious about it so any comment would be great. Is it because she (not the OP) is now a mother that makes it wrong? If she was a girlfriend or without child then it is perhaps fine?

Here are some questions beyond the OP: Is the wife seen and treated differently after having children...maybe in a way that can hurt the relationship? I wonder this because I have seen a few marriages go south after having children and I wonder why? It usually happens a few months after the baby is born? I think it is because the husband see her as more than a sexual companion and then things start to go bad. I wonder if a study has been done.

Okay sorry for that...just wondering. Now back to topic .

[vashti]

The reason things go bad a few months after a baby comes is because the father is often jealous of the time his woman spends on the new baby PLUS she is exhausted, overwhelmed, and extremely hormonal, and can't muster up the vaguest interest in sex (not that she has the time, mind you).

Hey OP - tell your man that your fantasy is to be with a man who doesn't make you feel like you aren't woman enough on your own, and when your fantasy is fulfilled, you can talk about his.